mindblank....

my eyes are half close now & my table is filled with notes which i have brought back to study for the upcoming exam on fri.. despite the physical tiredness, my emotional one felt worse..... was told about the news this afternoon, it came really sudden.... though we had all prepared for the thing to come but when i was told about it, i still felt quite sian n upset......


i just cant bear to see ppl leaving.. i know i am just being too emotional cause in the workforce, this kinda situation is very common, esp in the financial sector.... but i just dun like this feeling la... argh~~~

i am feeling~~~

just what am i feeling now?? i just know that its not a happy feeling.. sad? tired?? lonely??? regret?? mayb its just a mixture of everything... i really duno how to describe it... i am getting more n more unsure of everything... i am feeling that i duno myself more n more....


btw, i wan to emphasise once again that this blog is a place for me to be myself n let my fren who is not always having a chance to meet up with me to know wat is happening to me... i really dun wish wat i post here to be a topic for ppl to discuss explicitly in places where they shouldnt even be mentioned in the first place.. i hope this blog will still be a private place for me & hope this decision & wish of mine will be respected... thx alot...

colleagues outing??

went out yest to meet my group member for our final project that is going to be due this coming fri... there are so many things up on our sleeves these days... the previous night, i spent more den 5 hours doing my individual reports on shipping sector.... after partially completing that, we still have another 3 more things to complete by the end of this week...


found out from declan that group 4 was in orchard too, so we sort of meet up with em n do our project.. why did i say we sort of meet up? well, its because we are at the same place but sitting quite a distance away doing our own stuffs.... finally have some idea of wat to do for the project.. after discussing & allocating the work, we went on to finish up our sales pitch thingy... ard 3 plus, we went to Food Republic to have our meal....


Went to Kino after that & quite a few of us decide to go n catch a movie.. i was supposed to meet Wayne for dinner & movie, so i asked him to join in for the movie thingy with my colleagues... We watched the Tropic Thunder as requested by Maurice... the show is really funny but at times it can be quite gross...


after the show, me & wayne went to have dinner @ the HK cafe.. finally get to eat my baked sphagetti, i have had a craving for that since last wk lo.. anna came to join us moments later.. we chatted & eat there until 12 b4 heading to balcony for a short chillout session until 1 plus...


i din go to bed immediately after coming back home.. decide to finish up the last part of my individual project b4 slping cause i dun wan to have alot of unfinished job on hands... just dun like the feeling of that...

revolving about work~~

reached home about 2 hours back.. was called up to attend a careet talk @ NTU @ the very last min... the reason why i was chosen is because i am the ONLY gal in the group... they asked us to go there is to let them have a feel of how the training is like & we are the best person they should ask cause we are going thru that right now...

the session ended ard 8 plus that explains why i am back so late.. back home still have to prepare for my presentation for tml.. realise that time is running out.. just know that in another 10days we will be presenting our final project to our big boss & we are not even a quarter way thru it... den there's still test n everything...... i need more den 24 hours!!

was browsing thru my previous entries & realise i seldom blog this days, if i do it will all be about my job.... i miss those days when i can just slack n blog about my feelings, my outings with frenz, familes etc....

its been less den a mth & i am missing my Dim Sum buffet session with my mum, my weekday window shopping with my frenz, movie & lunch session, mahjong almost every twice a wk..... i need a short getaway... can i have one to pamper myself after the final project is over??

out to relax..

had been going out for the past 2 nights with anna.. on fri, we went out for a chilling session @ one of the pub @ tanjong pagar, followed by a 2nd round @ live impact Shenton way with my colleague...


it was the 1st time so many of us went to chill out together.. the session was really cool but for me, i felt sth is just wrong.... partly is because of not having sufficient slp & partly also due to some stuffs happening at the work place which makes me doubt about my ability & capability.. its like i am starting to doubt myself if i am up to this job or not...


mayb i am just feeling paranoid, just like the time when i first started this job.. or mayb its due to the lack of slp that makes my mind run wild.. no matter wat, i just hope that this feeling will not come back to me again...


i went out with anna yest to have a short shopping session @ bugis.. after that we went to shaw house for dinner @ the thai eatery with benny.. the food there is pretty tasty... after dinner, we went to orchard to meet his frenz who were there celebrating his birthday.. we din stayed for long & decide to go back...


on our way to the station, we met my Uni mates... its been a long time since we met, so anna & i decide to hang out with em... in e end, we went back to the ktv where we previously came out from.. haha.. its a very fun & enjoyable session.. we sing until 2 plus b4 taking a cab back...

a busy week~~

it had been a tiring but fulfilling week for me.. preparing & doing all the presentations, learning all the things from operations, doing research, going to office b4 the sun comes up & only able to go back when the sky turn dark.... now i finally understand wat the team leader say.. if u do not have the passion for this job, its really hard for u to stay on.....


the news on the 1st person leaving our team came on wed... when i heard about it at the conference room, i was quite shocked by the news... its only the 5th day into our training & ppl is quiting... its amazing but fairly understandable.. this jobs really requires alot out from u.. after work, the time is not yours cause we still need to do research & prepare for the presentation the very next day...


everyone only can get max 6 hours of slp per day.. 6 hours sometimes is consider a luxury already.. for some i heard, they only slp for 2-3 hours a day.. now i understand why dealers like to drk & chill out... its really a very tiring job & after work, they should really reward themself & let themself relax...


personally, i thk drking really help.. on thur, we had a impromptu chilling session... went to drk @ a ktv pub near our workplace... we went to drk w/o eating anything & i got alittle tipsy after drking only 1.5 mug... the moment i reached home, i concuss all the way until the next morning.. but that was the most quality slp i had ever since i started work.... b4 that, every night b4 i slp, i will toss n turn ard half an hour on my bed thking about my working stuffs.. the dreams i had was also all those relating to the stock market & work..... its crazy right....


yest some of my colleague & i decide to go clubbing.. we had dinner near our workplace & went to a ktv pub again nearby cause it was still to early to head to a club.. Anna darling came to join us.. we head down to the Double O @ 11.. its been a long time since i went there on a Fri night.. normally i will go there on Wed Ladies night.. hehe..


we stayed there & dance until 2 plus b4 heading home cause this morning, we need to attend a seminar conducted by our trainers to the public... sth happened & i am expecting a scolding on mon... haiz..

tiring but exciting~~

2nd day into my new job & i am already feeling how dynamic this environment is.... it was a total unexpected first day at work for me.. i tot that it might just be like a normal first day with all the orientation thingy & should be quite slacked but guess wat?? i end at 730 with a project presentation the next day.....


i reach home about 9pm, forced myself to eat sth even though i am not hungry at all... ard 10, i went online to discuss about the project thingy with my colleague.. realised my Office has just expired which means i need to depend on others to do the slide for me... must really thx my colleague for helping me out & answering the stupid qns i have raised... i really like know nuts about all this thingy.. all those figures doesnt convey any msg to me at all, i just look at them like normal numbers.. those ratio, well, wat isit for???


today, i woke up at 530 cause i need to be in e office by 730am... b4 the job start, i tot that its ok for me to wake up late because i can still slp on the train.... well, its NOT true.... we were told tat we have to read up the BT b4 going to work to see wat is happening to the companies, stock market.... best is u can read up the Straits Times also for those things that are not being captured on BT but might have some direct or indirect effect due to that piece of news........


1st time i reached Shenton Way when the sky is still blue... its another hectic day filled with trg programs... we were discussing at Mac over lunch regarding our project... frankly speaking, i really ''catch no balls'' on wat is going on.... haha.. ORGANIC?? wat is that?? i only heard of it b4 in my BIOLOGY classes & know it is once a brand for a shampoo.. other den that, wat can it means?? sounds stupid rite, that's the way i am feeling right now.......


after lunch is our presentation.. i really duno how i fare lo.. if i were to rate myself, i will say its definitely a FAIL.. no eye contact with most of the ppl present, just trying to get over the thing ASAP, ( at sometime i wonder am i going too fast?? ), forgetting some of the points which i should have mentioned... if u are grading me, thk u will give me that kinda grade also.... damn disappointing.....


den it comes the mentor introducing session, thk i screwed up that session.... quite pissed with myself... argh~~ same as yest, we went back at 730.. i went to my grandma's place to run an errand for my mum b4 coming back home.... thk i am just too tired, i took the wrong direction train... should be taking the West one but i took e other one instead & its under the condition when i am not rushing into the train lo... i was reading the newspaper & only realised i took the wrong train when i reached Lavender.... another big ARGH~~~


met up with Anna, Meiyun & Chye @ Cwp... only managed to reach after 930.... we chatted until 12 plus b4 going back home.... i just love the gathering session with them... its so relaxing, so joyous.. haha...


ok, my hair is dried up now.. should head for my bed... officially out of bed for 21 hours.....