studying~~

went to ngee ann poly today to study with teck, jean & cheng... felt quite pissed off with myself because of MA.. its really a very torturous subject.. if i were only left with FI & MSM, i will be slacking rite now.. why must i have a MA in between that 2 paper?? why i stupidly go n take up this module which is not a core of mine but of others BSc program??

in another 10 more days, studying will not be a job of mine anymore.. thk i will come to miss the days when i am in sch.. ppl will always come to treasure things when they have lost it.. i conc on studying FI today... dun wan to care about the others until when its near the exam date...

am already thking of how to celeb my end of student life & exam.. hee... guess i will be having endless of gatherings & partying to make up for the loss time with my frenz.. there's so much things i wanna do..

sec sch gathering @ clarke quay...

its finally my long awaited relaxing nite out.. ever since my ME paper has ended, i only went out for a MJ session & that's it.. ok i know i still another 3 more paper that needs my full attention but i am someone who needs some relaxation b4 i can go on full blast for revision.. its weird but its not an excuse...

i met pingwei @ JE station b4 going to clarke quay together.. very funny rite, i din meet wei shyang who is staying in wlds as me & went to meet pingwei who is staying in jurong.. haha.. well, cause i duno wei shyang is coming also.. he din reply to my msg...

we had a hard time looking for a place for dinner.. alot of places were crowded.. afer much walking we finally settled down @ hooters.. after dinner, i suggested to go arena to take a look... but we din settled there, in e end, we walked to MS old bar.. walked passed the bridge that was filled with some memories.. ever since the last time i walked there with HIM, i have never gone there anymore & that was like more den a yr back...

when we reached the place, it was filled with ppl.. realised that it was double O 10 yr anniversary.. they are having this free entry & free drk celeb so we went in there.. must apologise to those who dun have any intention to club in our gang for being 'dragged' in by me.. :)

wei shyang & ping wei..

shaoyun, meiyun & anna..

gals of the nite..

met shaoyun's sister there.. it was a real surprised to see her cause i never know that she is so happ.. hehe... guess its been almost a yr since i last went to double O.. the music was considered gd for such an early start.. we were already hitting the dancefloor @ 10 plus but we also left quite early caused most of them had a very early day @ work..

i reached home ard 1230 & went to bed @ 1.. the normal time for me to go to bed even if i din go out.. :) now i shall be @ home counting down to my 3 killer paper in a row.. no more going out for me.. really need to buck up & complete the last lapse of my Uni examination.. wish me gd luck..

dinner celebration~

it may seems a little too late for Mothers' Day celebration & a little too early for Fathers' Day one but on tue, we were just doing that @ Sakura Clementi.. its been more den a yr since we last went there for dinner...

b4 that i was in sch studying for my MA with jean & cheng.. progress was really very bad.. i never felt so lost in my entire life studying b4.. even for ME, though its a very tough subject but at least i know wat i should study but for MA, i totally duno wat i am doing.. tat whole day in sch was spent feeling upset & whining about how stupid i have become....

daddy came to fetch me in e late evening.. frankly speaking i was quite disappointed with the dinner... it was not as sumptuous as b4 but i really like the ambience there... the environment is really serene.. though the food is not really great but having ur family together & that's enough to make up for any imperfectness..

did you realise that we din have a family shot?? yup, that's the imperfectness of the nite...

relieved~~

yeap.. my scariest ME paper finally ended today.. its really such a relieve for me but i am damn tired now..

been up for more den 16 hrs with only about 4.5 hrs of slp from e previous nite.. woke up ard 545 to re-read those notes that i have made n went thru those formulas for fear that i might mixed them up during the paper... studied for ard 1.5 hrs before leaving my house for the far far away Expo... going there from woodlands is really torturous.... slept thru my journey until City Hall..

met cheng n billy outside the exam hall.. have to walk more den 10 mins to reach Hall 1.. haiz... finally got into the exam hall n got this panic feeling.. wow.. really wondered wat the smart female lecturer had prepared for us this yr.. i can only say that she is really the smartest lecturer whom i had come across.. it can be seen really clearly from the qns she set....

gt the paper n 1st time in my life, i read thru the qns for the whole paper n tot about it b4 starting to write anything.. felt relieved when i saw that the auction qns set this yr is not on calculation.. that chapter is really a killer n has been coming out for the past yrs w/o fail.... @ one pt, my mind went blank n i cant thk of anything.. decide to go to the washroom to take a breather.. surprisingly, when i came back n went to tackle the qns which i was having problem, i am able to thk of the solution....

but one thing really upset me, i din managed to finish the last part of the last qn... i am pretty sure of knowing the mthd to do it & will be able to get the solution if i am allowed to but times up & pens down.... argh.. really regret to spend so much time on the qn in section A which up till now i also duno whether i am right or not.....

left with another 3 more paper in june.. having another 2 weeks to study but all e 3 papers are together.. which means i have to study for all 3 n divide my time according during this 14 days... worse thing is among them, one of them is MA.. well, at least i should be glad that ME is cleared today rather den with the other 3...

felt like going to chill some time soon.. i am those who need a break b4 i can fully conc on doing a thing.. the only relaxing for me now seems to be chilling out or having dinner with frenz.. felt like i only have frenz to study with now n no one to go out with me & have fun.. well, mayb its because my frenz are either studying now or working & doesnt have the time for me... that's the sad thing of being single, when u wan to go out, u cant find someone to go out with u.. haha.. that's when someone always come into the picture.. hehe.. guess u guys should know who he is... :)

prepared??

went to sch & study with cheng & jean early in e morning yest.. been studying for ME for the past 2 weeks.. finally touching my ME examiners report.. i still believe concepts is very impt for a subject which the examiner is a very smart woman.. u never know wat type of qns will be coming out, there are no trends for u to speculate wat's gonna come out & the qns every year is totally different.. there are 101 different scenarios & 101 ways to solve it.. it really boils down to how u thk on e spot with the paper in front of under examination condition...

tis yr, unlike the past, i am not studying as much so i do not have that type of saturated feelings.. i am taking things as it is.. no special feelings about it, just wanna get down n get done with it.. isit because this is my 3rd yr or because my mind is preoccupied with other things which i, myself dun even know wat it is...

received a unexpected call from someone yest.. its been months since i last heard his voice.. if i am not wrong, the last time i gt his call is last yr.. was quite surprised to see his name popping up my caller ID when the phone rang.. the feeling of getting his call is so familiar in e past, now it has become a surprise instead...

over e short conversation, he surprised me again with wat had happened to him over the past weeks.. was quite shocked about the things that had happened & quite worried about him as a fren.. things seemed to be quite serious at his side.. mayb i am too sensitive or wat but i felt that from his tone, he is sounded troubled.. really hope everything will turn out fine for him & hope his life will be smooth sailing from now on...

it should have ended~~

thing were supposed to end a yr ago, i had expected it to be a one-off thing... ending when we come back from the getaway.. that's wat i told myself when i went for the trip with em.. that's wat i had prepared myself also.. dun harp on things that i know in e 1st place which doesnt belongs to me... but i was wavered by him, wavered by the things he said to me, wavered by how he had treated me & wavered by his promise... i began to fall deeper n deeper for him & things went out of control...

i duno why i am taking so long to let go of things which i am supposed to do so a yr back.. tat shows who weak i am rite.. how easy it is to get me down when it comes to r/s... guess i will never be able to forget this ba... its not everyone chance to experience wat i had experienced.. hee...

1 yr anniversary..

yeap, today is the day when we went to genting a yr ago.. apart from being a super humid day & having a slight headache when i woke up this morning from the alcohol yest, nth seems abnormal for me...

tot i would feel very upset or sentimental today but things are not as bad as i tot it would be.. when i was on e cab with anna yest, we did talk about this issue... about how i felt towards him now, how i wished things would be now... wanted to come n blog when i was outside arena waiting for anna's frenz... luckily i din cause during that time, i would have said a lot more stupid things than wat i am doing now... guess alcohol will have this magical effect to let u spell every single truthful word out of ur mind n heart..

ppl always say in order for u to get over a past r/s totally, u need to get into a new one.. erm, i strongly agree with this sentence..

shouldnt harp on this topic too much.. if not i might felt emotional.. went to meet anna for dinner @ suntec & Clarke Quay for a chilling session which i did not deserved at all.. haiz.. my pace of studying is very very bad this yr.. i am still trying to figure out wat the notes are saying rather den questioning every single concept like how i was doing for the past 2 yrs... getting more n more panic & hot-tempered now... so pls dun come n agitate me unnecessarily this days cause my tolerance level is really really low at the moment....

talk about tolerance level.. yest i was quite pissed off while we were dancing at the dancefloor.. a guy just come out from no where & started dancing ard me & anna.. i dun mind guys dancing ard us, its how that matters to me... apart from moving his hands like some octopus, he kept his distance damn close to us n kept brushing against us.. normally, i will just move away from this kinda ppl but yest, i stand still & started staring at him.. really wanted to vent my anger on him, luckily anna pulled me away...

been going to clarke quay for the past 2 weeks.. loving their nightlife & ambience there more n more.. guess i will be visiting the place frequently after my exams..

another 11 more days to my 1st paper.. really hope i can pull thru all my modules this yr...

围墙

wrote a blog entry on my new phone 2 days back while studying for my ME.. but the content of the entry has nuts to deal with my exams.. its about some other things which some ppl might know wat it is about..

until just now, i was still deciding whether to post the entry? now i have come to a conclusion... it shall be left as a secret inside my phone.. sometimes things are not meant to be said.. :)

was looking @ my long abandoned facebook & realised how distant i am from my frenz.. ever since the preparation of my exams or long b4 that i haven had much contacts with em... i duno since when, i have been closing myself up.. not allowing ppl to come close to me & vice versa... in e past, i will still have this blog to vent everything but now, i dun even wish to come here & talk about it cause wat i said in a moment of sadness or anger might actually hurt others indirectly...

i really duno know who i am more n more & wat i wan in my life... who exactly am i?? the walls that had built up w/o my knowledge has shut me out of my heart also..