i have been thking wat title should i put for this blog entry and could not decide on a precise one.. its been a long time since i updated my blog and there are so many things which i wan to talk about but the most impt thing i wanna update is more about wat i am feeling rather den wat is happening..


i haven been speaking my mind n blog about my most inner tots on this blog for a really long time.. there was a period in the past which i had this experience b4, but for that time its mostly because i dun wan wat i blog here to affect someone.. as for this time round, there are alot more factors which i wanna factored in.. its not only target at a certain person but rather a few of em....


the nature of this blog has changed.. it used to be a place where i can vent out my emotions and voice out my inner most tots so that i will feel much better.. but now, i jus cant seem to be voicing out my tots as freely as how i used to in the past.. isit because of the world i am in now or isit because this is also part n parcel of growing up? there are alot more factors to thk about when u wan to speak ur mind.... its because of this issue, i seem to be bottling up alot of stuffs this days.. i lost the touch of speaking my mind and if i really wan to do so, i need alot more courage n time to process wat i wan to say out.. most of the time, i jus end up saying 'orh ok'..


was reading thru my blog b4 i start my work.. i really miss the time i spent at home with my mum.. just nuaing on my sofa, playing my PSP all day long, if not just lie there watching dvds with my mum.. i miss the time when we can go genting as n when we wan.. we can like mention about going today n jus go n book the room tml.. i miss the overnight MJ session at alvin's place, i miss the weekday window shopping session in town with my frenz, i miss going to JB in the afternoon with my mum jus to have our lunch & haircut there... all-in-all, i miss my FREEDOM...


really wish to have a resort vacation soon.. jus wanna lie on the beach with a nice cocktail beside me... its been a long time since i go suntanning.. need to get some color back to my skin..


but b4 i can fulfil that wish of mine, i will be going to KL for this Chi New Yr once again.. New Yr always seems to be a very boring occassion for me, this yr its no exception again.... but luckily this yr it doesnt fall on or near my b'day, if not i will be even more SIANZ... i can still rem there was a yr when it falls exactly on the same day.... its total bullshit la, having to put on a false front n fake a smile on a SUPER special day of mine...


well, at least this yr, i will be glad that i can have 4 day straight off and can slp all i wan there.. hehe... super looking forward to the amount of rest which i can get during the new yr period in KL... hehe... well, this is to prepare myself for the different 'tua' of gambling sessions which will be waiting for me when i come back from KL.. wahaha... I miss MJ-ing~~~~