i really dun understand why guys dun like to account for things that they haf done or at least let the whole thing haf a proper ending.. 'going into hiding' isit a better way out?? why cant they jux thrash things out wif the gal & let the her know wats happening.. at least i thk its better for me in tis way cause it wont make me thk & wait for an ans that will only come when the so-called cooling period is over... or worse still, mayb aft that period i wont get an ans at all....

mayb to the guys, they thk that not telling the gals anything is a better way out for her.. or because they really duno how to face her & tell her the truth for fear of hurting her.. i know on e guys part, it mayb really hard for em.... but, still i dun approve of it... cause its like so dragging & u are jux wasting the gals time la... u know we haf limited time........ so plz dun keep wasting our time.... if every guy we come across do tis to us den i dun thk we'll haf much time left b4 we turn old & haggard while still staying single.....

guess i wont be contacting him so soon.. since he already made it so clear tat he wont come & find me at tis period of time.. so i'll jux try to control myself from doing stupid things again during tis period.. haiz.. quite sad cause i wont be able to fulfil e promise tat i made to him.. tat's so sickening... i jux hate oweing ppl favour or things la......

shit to all those r/s stuff.. its so mafan & hurting... not forgetting its super distracting too...

I finally got the ans to the qns tat all along bothered me ever since from the start of tis whole thing.. actually all along, I haf the ans wif me its jux tat I never try to believe wat he say or I always tell myself that he is saying it jux for the sake of saying.. its like a swt nth that he will do to all e other gals tat he came across.. cause i dun wan myself to pin any hope on him & make myself get hurt..

Come to thk of it, it might be due to me being inside the whole thing tat’s why I cant see very clearly wat’s happening & thking properly.. its only today den I realize tat actually all the assumptions tat I made abt wat made him say wat he told me is not valid at all.. in fact its jux an excuse tat I made up so as to make myself not falling for him.. but its because of all tis invalid assumptions & stupid excuses tat makes me feeling so miserable…

Today, I believe tat he was once serious abt me.. although the time period is really short but den the feelings tat Is true is all that matters… at least I know my feelings for him is being reciprocated & its not a one-sided thing.. this was further affirm by wat a fren of mine told me tis evening.. I will not elaborate abt the whole thing but at least wat I can say here is that he do care abt me.. if he is a player, I dun thk he will care abt anything relating to me at all aft all that has happened..

Tis is all that matters… everything has come to an end & in one way or another, It might not be a bad thing tat things ended tis way.. at least we can still be frenz aft the cooling off period.. I hope we wont feel awkward when we see each other next time..

natas travel fair has ended.. its e 2nd yr i work there wif e same company & same date somemore.. its damn fast.. a yr has passed like tis & in another 7 wks time i will be having my 1st paper... at tis crucial pt of my yr i am bothered wif alot of stuffs tat i knew in e 1st place tat i shouldnt be involved in... tat's so stupid of me rite...

in many aspect of my life, i can be very easy going & take things easy... but when it comes to the matter of the heart, i am damn stubborn... and its tis stubborn character of mine tat makes me gets hurt all the time.. & its a very long time...

jux realise i am actually an extremist.. when i broke up wif teck tat time i was like tat too.. its only now den i realise tat... haha.. i very ' chi dun' rite... a fren of mine made me reaslise alot of things & know myself beta.. if not for him, i would haf lost myself already... am really grateful to him & am really glad he was there for me all e time when i needed him...

for the past few days i am going thru all those emotional trauma.. i haven been slping earlier den 3 for almost a wk.. despite slping late, i haf to wake up almost every morn b4 830 because of my sch & work commitment... i wanted to make myself really tired cause only den i will jux slp immediately i hit my bed n not thking abt anything nor letting my imagination & emotion run wild..

i am sort of like testing my limit & seeing how far i can stretch myself until the pt of breaking down.. i always tot tat i am tat kinda of person who needs to cry it out in order to make myself feels beta but for those who knows, i dun cry easily.. tat's is y i am feeling so miserable inside.. tat's y i wanna make myself breakdown cause only aft tat i will pick myself up together n forget abt everything... but sad to say, i dun understand myself at all.....

its a fren of mine who point to me tat i am already totally crushed... i haf already breakdown emotionally le.. its so sad rite cause i din even realise tat until he said so..... its e 1st time i duno wat the hell i am doing at all.... i am jux hurting myself & i cant control it.. while toking on e phone last nite, my whole body was paralysed... i am tat tired to the point that i cant even open my eyes at all.. but i still wan to kp myself awake to make myself even tired..... tat's really lame rite.....

tis is e 1st time i am doing all tis & i hope tat there wont be e next time.. i am jux doing harm to my body & i can feel it now already... the gastric tat hasnt been bothering me for quite some time is back.. i jux wanna haf a gd rest aft tml's work & dun thk abt anything else other den my studies.....

in life there's a lot of things tat you will still do even though you know deep inside your heart that its wrong.. but sometimes its really hard to control your feelings & be rational.. is there a clear line between right or wrong in life?? tat's another qns wif no answer......

in my life, i always believe tat we should live without regret & live at e moment.. the other things doesnt really matter to me.... but isit really because it doesnt matter or i jux dun wan to go n thk abt it because i am afraid to face the consequences?? mayb i shouldnt be thking abt tis kinda of things at all now.. now its e period of time tat i should enjoy myself & do things tat i wan & like..... y am i holding myself back???

went to club wif gery yest.. was having my paper in e afternoon so i came back home to change b4 meeting her.. we went to town & haf our dinner b4 going to taboo to meet HX, keith & andrew...

had some drks there b4 heading down to zouk.. we were abit wasted b4 we reached there.. as for me, it gt worse when i reached zouk.. was surprised when kenneth msg me n told me he reached le.. quite shocked.. caused never tot he will come down... den i went to velvet wif gery to find aloy & his gang of frenz.. they bought alot of drks lo.. the moment i reached, i was asked to drk a tequila shot... den there's samoka... luckily someone finished the last shot b4 they target at me... but i am damn seh le... cant even stand still...

went to meet kenneth & went to phuture to find hx & gang at the dj console.. as usual, phuture waas packed.. dance until 2 plus & went to find aloy at zouk cause he say he was alone la.. the music at zouk was not as bad as i tot.. at least its dancable.. haha.. stayed for a while & went back cause need to find gery... stayed until 3 plus & head back home.. quite long never drk until seh & do so many stupid things le.. come to thk of it now, i am really diff from my normal self & is quite scary when i get high.. cause i will start to do alot of stupid things.. shit.... haha....

went to haf dim sum buffet at YUM CHA wif mummy & bro today.. was in e lib studying in e morning.. went to haf breakfast at mac alone cause e others haven reached n i am damn hungry already.. dun thk can tahan until 3 pm for the buffet to start..... took my maths n doing it while eating.. realise i can solve all the qns tat i din managed to solve at home yest... well, thk i am not someone who can study at home cause its DAMN NOT productive la...

stayed until 130 den i left cause i need to go down to e ipod centre at wheellock to get my ipod serviced... yest i went to update the software & aft that, i cant sync songs into the ipod anymore.. the worse thing is all the songs inside my ipod were gone...... damn fustrated wif it yest..

tot sth was wrong wif my ipod nano but the service crew say there's nth wrong.. he can sync songs in w/o any pro.... he say it might be due to the corruption of the itune prog that causes it.. which means that i either haf to reformat my comp or i can try syncing the songs in manually..... but i am damn scare if i choose e 2nd mthd, if the pro still exists den i will be 'songless' for e next few days... ( i dun haf time to go town again cause gt paper on wed & thur.... )

it was qing cheng's & dadd'y birthday on thur.. haha.. din celeb for daddy on the actual day cause my bro was at bintan.. so we decide to postpone the celeb w/o telling him... well, thk he is quite upset abt it cause tat nite, i heard from my sis that he was sort of complaining saying its his bday today..... haha.. its really cute of him la....

realise that daddy changed alot tis couple of years.. he had become more homely & will mind abt tis kinda of stuffs where in e past he will not even care.. thk as u get older, u will begin to thk n realise that family matters to u most n blah blah blah..... at 1st its really quite weird of him but now, i thk its a gd thing cause our family bonding now is beta..

went to the IT show & its already damn crowded on a thur afternoon.. cannot imagine how its gonna be like on weekends... wanted to get a laptop but den its like quite redundant & at the moment, i dun really need one.. so i thk i will jux put the purchase on hold 1st... wait until i gt spare cash or when i really need it that time den get one..