无奈

there are alot of things in life which will not go the way we wanted it to be... this is especially so after you started working.. More restriction than you are when you were a student.. The restriction doesnt comes from work itself, in fact, it comes from individual...

After stepping into the adult working world, our lifestyle and spending power changes dramatically.. As a student, you might not even spend up to $10 in a day but for a working adult, wat is $10 a day man.. A meal together with transportation will wipe it out completely, sometimes, a meal alone will just do the job..

The new spending power gain & the enjoyment you derive from the new lifestyle makes one wanted more.. More of the spending power, more of the enjoyment.. If not getting more, one will just want to maintain that kinda lifestyle.. In order to do so, you will have to maintain that kinda salary also.. Or work even harder for a better paid job....

If you are in a job that you love what you are doing & can satify your kinda lifestyle.. I must congratualate you.. Cause you are the lucky few in a millions ( ok, maybe i am exaggerating it.. ) & I must say i really envy you....

Alot of ppl, they are stuck in jobs, doing things that they disliked because they want to maintain their current lifestyles.. Houses, cars, family, children and many more..... They are afraid that if they go n pursue what they like by changing jobs. they might not be able to get the pay that they are drawing currently.. In the first place, are they able to get the job that they want poses another qns? Will they be wasting their time by doing a change cause they might not be doing as well as what they are doing at the moment... All the uncertainties act as additional deterence for more ppl to take the first step.....

Well, maybe I am generalising things here... I dun deny that there will be ppl ard who will want to and has the guts to go and pursue the things that they want.. Frankly speaking, i really admire em... I use to do things w/o caring about alot of other factors and consequences in the past BUT right now, i am not like tat anymore... I duno isit because of what happened changed me or isit because of the society that causes the change.... I miss the Wei Ting that used to do things jus because she thinks its correct & dun care about how the others will feel about her... She seems so real at that pt of time..

Car Diary 3

sth happened last wk, so there wasnt any updates...

As for this weekend, let's start from Fri :

After having dinnrer at Newton until 10 plus, i went to collect the car at dear;s place... Went to find billy to have a chat first b4 going to fetch dear ard 2.. We decided to go for supper & went to fetch billy.. We drove to Upper Thomson for prata and i mus say their banana prata is really nice.. We eat until 1 plus b4 going back home..

We slp until 1 plus the next morning b4 going out.. Want to go pump petrol at SHell one but seeing the queue deter us.. Along the way to bugis, u can see how the promo has affected the traffic.. Wherever there is a petrol kiosk, you will be able to see a long queue there..

Had laksa near the famous flea market b4 going down to Bugis.. Want to go there to bai bai cause recently i was being bothered by alot of stuffs and all these things are weighing me down and making me hard to breathe.. On top of that, i really need some guidance on things which i myself find it hard to decide on... But the bai bai session, din really help me to find the serenity which i hope myself will get when i go bai bai... Haiz..

Went to illuma to catch a movie, while waiting for the show to start i chanced upon sth which brighten up my day a little...

Halloween is here~~~

arent they cute??

After the movie, we went to boat quay to have dinner.. haha.. Yeah, going back to somewhere near our workplace on a weekend, how interesting right? But i am having this crazy craving for the thai steamboat along boat quay for a week le.. haha.. Dear was really nice to go with me & fulfil my craving.. :)

This steamboat is really delicious and special.. ( This is the first time i chanced upon a steamboat that is being served in such a special manner.. ) The top where u see alot of holes are used to bbq food like their pork, prawn, mussels and sotong.. As for the soupy rim, that is for the tong fen and veggies.. hehe

Dear was quite fasinated by the steamboat too...

After dinner, we go to YOU CHE HE.. haha.. drive ard the CBD and to S'pore flyers and HOME SWEET HOME!!

As for today, dear came to fetch me in the afternoon after his game.. We went to Casurina for prata b4 going to Tampines... Its a lazy afternoon for us.. Jus walking n doing window shopping..

Am really grateful towards dear for acc me today cause he was quite tired after the game but he came to acc me... And tonight he got a match to catch with his frenz so he will need to slp n rest more den usual.. But he still make it a pt to come n find me, acc me until late afternoon b4 going back home... He knows that if i were to stay at home the whole afternoon, i would have started to form those negative thoughts and hu si luan xiang again...

Mus really thx him for being there with me n accomodate me during this period of time when i am feeling so edgy and on the same time needed someone to be with me... Its really hard on him during this pt of time...

i have lost myself~~

looking in the mirror, i couldnt recognise the person who is staring back at me now.. i totally dun understand myself at this pt of time.. I have no sense of direction, i duno wat i really want in my life, i had no idea wat to do with my life also.. i am really lost this time round.. lost with all the things happening ard me.. working life has made me lose myself, its the first time in my life i am so uncertain about everything & dun have any confidence in myself.. feeling so negatively... wat is happening to me..

in the past, i can jus dun care about alot of things and jus be myself.. how come it has become such a strange thing to me now.. those thiings which i had been doing in the past seems really alien to me now.. and the things that i am doing now, its so not me... i am feeling really unhappy, unsure and vexed...... wat can i do man??

its been a year~~

the title above means 2 things.. the 1st one is, its has been a year since i started working & its been a yr since i started feeling for someone.. but at this pt of time, the 1st one that i mentioned meant more to me..



last oct, i started my working life in my current company.. i behaved jus like a fresh grad, green, ignorant, naive.. I am the only gal left in the team and also the youngest too.. Not forgetting, i behaved like a little gal too.. hard to imagine, but i am one at that pt of time.. With all the big brothers there taking care of me & guiding me...



To those who knows me well.. I am a very straightforward person & i dun like to hide my feelings.. I always placed my trust easily on ppl.. This had gotten me into really awkward position.. I really hope that i can change that.. but can i? At this pt of time, after a yr of working in this kinda financial environment, i have grown to be more cautious but i am still quite easy in believing wat others said & bare my heart to em.. Why cant i jus learn my lesson & move on?



Having alot of gan chu recently.. I cant seem to write freely like how i used to in the past cause of alot of restriction.. Think i might open another account to voice out freely wat i felt w/o pictures and such... This might be a better idea.. I haven been able to talk freely recently & has been keeping alot of stuffs inside me.. This is really weighing on me & making me hard to breathe...



There is a saying, ppl come n goes in ur life.. This is especially true in my kinda working environment.. Everything is about business & nth personal.. From a 21 man team when i first started out a yr back, it has been reduced to a 6 man team now.. Its quite scary, isnt it? I never tot that i might be the 6 that are left when i first started out.. I am not the best among the team & i am totally new to the things that i am doing now.. I tot i might be the first few to get axed.. Who would have tot of me staying until now?



A yr has passed really fast.. I can still rem taking buses with my teammates to Suntec for our lesson then we will rush back to the office to finish our powerpoint slide.. haha.. We will have at least 2 presentation a day and that really tires everyone out man.. On Fri, it will be our time off, we will make it a pt to go out to drk & relax every Fri night.. Its at tat time when they got to know about my drking secret.. hehe..



We finally pass out from our training aka BMT together with quite a few of our teammates falling out even b4 that.. After that is our roadshow days which i miss it totally.. Everything seems like it has jus happened yest.. I would go in the morning to open the booth den go and buy breakfast at Mac with some of my teammates.. Den we will go out for lunch all ard the restaurant.. After roadshow, we will go for dinner all over S'pore cause some of em drive.. During someone's birthday we will go for steamboat which most of the time were organised by me.. ( I love steamboat!!) haha..

When we were there doing the roadshow for such a long period of time, we keep complaining tat its too long & wonder how long it need b4 we can go back to the office.. Well, now i am beginning to think or should i said I had been thinking that the roadshow time had been the best period of my working life for quite some time le.. Its during the roadshow we started getting to know one another, got closer with one another & build up a strong bond... I really miss those times when we can trust one another & let our guards down.. When has everything in the office changed to the period when i first started working in there a yr back....



There has been too much negative feelings & i am really feeling really upset about it.....

Car Diary 2

its another nice weekend with my beloved baby car.. hehe... the experience of having a car is totally amazing.. despite me only able to use the car on weekend, its a really gd experience too..

Sat i went home after my roadshow & waited for benny to come n fetch me at my place after his soccer game.. We stayed at my place until night time b4 going out for dinner at Chong Pang.. Went to the Thai Zhi-Char there & had a sumptuous dinner b4 going down to Great World to catch a movie... Manage to get ticket for the Surrogates the moment we reached there.. It was an interesting show, quite like the idea of the show..

Right after that, i send him home b4 driving back home..

Woke up ard 1130 the next morning, had some snacks b4 going to bed again at 130.. That is wat i normally do during weekend, keep slping n slping.. After preparing & everything, I went out for lunch with Mummy & sent her to town.. While i was on the way, Benny called & said that his game has ended, so i went to Evans Road & fetch him to his place b4 going to Amoy Food Centre for lunch...

After sending mummy to Chinatown, I went to Benny's place & rested there.. The weather isnt suitable to go out.. Ard 7, we decide to go to Geylang for dinner.. Went to Lor 29 ( i think) for their charcoal-cooked Hokkien Mee & Satay for dinner.. Den we went to Yong He for dessert.. Actually my objective is to go Geylang to eat their Mee Sua one but after i finish the food, i was too full for that already...

We went to Kallang Indoor Stadium & sit by the river side.. Looking at those luxurious condo, wonder when can i get one myself.. haiz.. Walk along the bridge towards the condo, its the first time i went there.. haha..

After that, we decide to go to Marina South to explore.. Its been a long time since i go there.. Wondering whether the steamboat place is still there.. The moment i reached there, i realised everything changed.. I cant seem to recognise the place & the road anytime, I could not fine the steamboat place, together with the famours bowling alley & the Canto which was really famous in the past.. Was it being teared down or was it because the road has changed & i could not find it.. What i can find now is the sign showing the way to Marina Barrage, the latest attraction at Marina South..

Decide to go there & explore.. Was fascinated by the appearance of the building.. We look through some pictures of it b4 we went there but it was totally different from what we see in the pictures.. It was more beautiful with the lighting.. Mayb because its at night & coupled with the night scenes from the CBD, it looks really beautiful.. I think next time when Marina Vegas is up, the view will be even more breathtaking.. :)

Looking forward to next weekend, wonder where can we explore again with our baby.. hehe..

Genting getaway with Mum & Dear

Jus reach home half an hour back from my 3D2N genting getaway with my mum & dear.. Not only is this the 1st time we went on a vacation together, the most impt thing is, this is also the 1st time we went on a roadtrip on our little baby picanto..





I was quite worried b4 we went there.. regarding whether are we able to go up to genting with our baby.. but the worrying seems to be unnecessary.. hehe.. our baby really perform well & i am looking forward to more road trip with it..





We woke up ard 5am in the morning on Sat & manage to cross the custom b4 7am in the morning.. We started our journey ard 630 & we stop for awhile to have a break & drk ard 8.. It was my turn to drive for the rest of the journey until KL cause dear did not have much rest the previous night.. We reached KL ard 10 am & went to find my aunt to pass her sth b4 heading to have our breakfast.. Wanna eat the steam fish but we are far too early, thus we went to have Dim Sum instead.. Its not as fantastic as the one daddy always bring us to....





Aft the meal, we started our way up to genting.. There was a jam near the city area thus we only manage to reach genting ard 1 plus.. Daddy called up & asked us to get ready some water b4 we went up cause he scare our engine might overheat on the way up.. That was really sweet of him..





After checking-in, me & dear stayed in the room to slp until 4 plus b4 going to the casino to find mum for our dinner? We went to the Old Town Cafe there for our meal.. After tat we went to the casino at Genting hotel.. There wasnt alot of crowd, probably its because its mid-autumn festival..



I brought mummy to the International Room, its the 1st time we went in there.. Quite diff from the usual one we went to.. But i prefer this.. We stayed in the casino until 11 plus b4 heading back to First World.. Had supper b4 going back to the hotel with dear to rest....



Slp until 10 plus the next morning b4 going to find mum at the casino.. Dear is still slping when i left.. Went to have a relax breakfast with mummy b4 meeting dear in the hotel room cause later, we are going to check into Resort.. haha.. its abit bo liao to change here & there la but den, Resort was fully booked on Sat le so had to go to First World.. Personally i prefer Resort of its locations & the furnishing inside the room.. Its more cosy & comfy.. hehe


We check into the hotel ard 130 & rested for a while b4 going down to the Casino again.. Mummy was in the International Room already & dear could not go in cause he doesnt have a Genting card.. As for me, it took me alot of hassle without Mummy to bring me in.. I have to show them a platinum credit card b4 they allow me to gain access to the Room..

We stayed there until 5 plus.. In e end, due to the long standing & tiredness from it, we decide to go back to the room & rest until dinner time.. Well, this was supposed to be a relaxing trip anyway.. haha.. So resting is very impt.. haha...

During dinner time, we went down to find Mummy b4 going to Sushi King to have dinner.. The weather is really cooling.. I love the mist n the cool wind blowing on my face.. Its casino once again.. haha.. This time round, we stayed until 1030 b4 going out n walk ard the place with dear.. We went to the hotel to rest until 1am.. Should have come down earlier one.. haiz.. cause by the time we came down, the coffee bean below our hotel closed already.. Can only order takeaway but we want to sit down there to chit chat & enjoy the coolness of the night..

In e end, we walk to First World Starbucks.. The place there closed rather late at night.. Because its a Sun night, the place looks rather quiet with very little ppl.. We ordered our hot drk & choose a seat outside the coffee place.. Had a conversation which we shouldnt even started off in the first place.. In e end, both of us got rather unhappy about it.. Realised this has been the case for our past trip at phuket also, sth happened on the last night there which turned out to be rather unhappy for us also.. This time round, this is the case too.. I hope that next time when we go on a trip, this kinda thing wont happen again....

Well, luckily everything went back to norm again b4 we slp.. :)