the title above means 2 things.. the 1st one is, its has been a year since i started working & its been a yr since i started feeling for someone.. but at this pt of time, the 1st one that i mentioned meant more to me..
last oct, i started my working life in my current company.. i behaved jus like a fresh grad, green, ignorant, naive.. I am the only gal left in the team and also the youngest too.. Not forgetting, i behaved like a little gal too.. hard to imagine, but i am one at that pt of time.. With all the big brothers there taking care of me & guiding me...
To those who knows me well.. I am a very straightforward person & i dun like to hide my feelings.. I always placed my trust easily on ppl.. This had gotten me into really awkward position.. I really hope that i can change that.. but can i? At this pt of time, after a yr of working in this kinda financial environment, i have grown to be more cautious but i am still quite easy in believing wat others said & bare my heart to em.. Why cant i jus learn my lesson & move on?
Having alot of gan chu recently.. I cant seem to write freely like how i used to in the past cause of alot of restriction.. Think i might open another account to voice out freely wat i felt w/o pictures and such... This might be a better idea.. I haven been able to talk freely recently & has been keeping alot of stuffs inside me.. This is really weighing on me & making me hard to breathe...
There is a saying, ppl come n goes in ur life.. This is especially true in my kinda working environment.. Everything is about business & nth personal.. From a 21 man team when i first started out a yr back, it has been reduced to a 6 man team now.. Its quite scary, isnt it? I never tot that i might be the 6 that are left when i first started out.. I am not the best among the team & i am totally new to the things that i am doing now.. I tot i might be the first few to get axed.. Who would have tot of me staying until now?
A yr has passed really fast.. I can still rem taking buses with my teammates to Suntec for our lesson then we will rush back to the office to finish our powerpoint slide.. haha.. We will have at least 2 presentation a day and that really tires everyone out man.. On Fri, it will be our time off, we will make it a pt to go out to drk & relax every Fri night.. Its at tat time when they got to know about my drking secret.. hehe..
We finally pass out from our training aka BMT together with quite a few of our teammates falling out even b4 that.. After that is our roadshow days which i miss it totally.. Everything seems like it has jus happened yest.. I would go in the morning to open the booth den go and buy breakfast at Mac with some of my teammates.. Den we will go out for lunch all ard the restaurant.. After roadshow, we will go for dinner all over S'pore cause some of em drive.. During someone's birthday we will go for steamboat which most of the time were organised by me.. ( I love steamboat!!) haha..
When we were there doing the roadshow for such a long period of time, we keep complaining tat its too long & wonder how long it need b4 we can go back to the office.. Well, now i am beginning to think or should i said I had been thinking that the roadshow time had been the best period of my working life for quite some time le.. Its during the roadshow we started getting to know one another, got closer with one another & build up a strong bond... I really miss those times when we can trust one another & let our guards down.. When has everything in the office changed to the period when i first started working in there a yr back....
There has been too much negative feelings & i am really feeling really upset about it.....
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