had been having UOL revision lect for 2 consecutive days.. yes its 2 consecutive days n the worse thing is there are 3 more to come in e next 4 days.. can u imagine how drainin it is.. esp when u dun understand wat the lecturers are toking abt... it really add on to e stress that had been building up for e past mth lo.. argh~~~ when is all tis going to end?????

tml gonna haf my maths revision class again.. jux realised that i haf forgotten all e mths n formulas liao.. gonna memorise n try e paper n e examiner's report soon.. i really have short term memory lo.. cant rem things for long..

e only thing that motivates me tml is e gathering that i will be having wif my JC gang at timah market.. but b4 that, gonna go billy's house to sing ktv 1st.. its really time to relac abit liao.. my shoulder n neck is really killing me now.. i need a massage soon..........

i am feeling so listless today.. i am feeling all e stress now.. esp when my exam is jux less den a mth from now.. i cant seem to understand wat i am studying.. i tot i had known everything but aft doing the papers, i know that is not e case.. i feel that all the time i spent studying for e past mth is useless...

is there is potion tat will improve my understanding?? if there is any, plz get it for me.. i need it badly lo..

stress seem so never ending..

hey guys.. i will be updating my blog here from now on..

it's my mum b'day today.. but i gonna go for e exhibition job briefing so cant acc her the whole day..

went to cityhall & meet peifen for lunch.. aft that den we went down to Suntec n meet Leon.. the booth is quite small as compared to the one at expo last yr.. but cant help it oso cox tis exhibition they are not e main exhibitor.. one thing is the pay is definitely beta den the previous one.. hehe..

we had a briefing by em at the cafe.. it was quite fun as usual n the staff can still recognise us..

woohoo~~~ finally ended my mock yest.. felt so relief.. esp when i can do my pbf paper wif only 3 days of intensive study at e lib wif wilson n billy ( my study gang ).. mus really thx em for teaching me n answering my stupid cum simple qns.. sometimes i oso cant stand myself for asking that qns oso lo.. haha..

went out wif my my dearest mum for sushi yest.. had been 'abandoning' for a couple of days due to my studying schedule.. its time to spend sometime wif her b4 i am going into the hectic study thing again..

as for today, i went to orchard wif her n my sis.. my bro went to camp liao so only left wif e 3 pretty 'babe' of our family.. haha.. wanna get alot of things to pamper myself today but den i realise how broke i am now lo.. had been spending quite alot on food these days while studying at e lib.. there goes my pampering session..

i am lookin forward to my working session next wk at e natas travel fair.. at least can earn some money n donate it into my piggy bank.. haha.. it had been hungry duno since when le.. haha..

had my econs mock test today.. it was really a disaster lo.. i forgot all those market structure thing that i had been studying for more den a mth the moment i look at e paper lo.. wat thing can be worse den tis... feel really demoralised when i walk out of e hall aft trying for more den 1.5 hrs.. ( the paper was 3 hrs )

went to study for stats while waiting for wilson n billy.. they finished e full 3 hr paper.. had lunch at mega bites den we drove back to wlds n study at e lib.. i studied until 6 n came home le.. coz today is my dad's b'day.. gonna haf dinner wif the whole family later.. now am waiting for em to prepare.. hehe..

muz burn midnight oil tonight le.. cox while revising for stats jux now, i realise i forget most of the things n formulas le.. haiz.. y i do not haf a photograhic memory lei..

went to ah li's 21st b'day chalet @ the PA holiday flat near pasir ris park.. had a hard time finding e place n a parking lot there lo.. luckily, i am not a road idiot n din get lost wif ah ma.. haha.. e place is really cosy n nice.. would love to haf our jc gathering there soon lo.. hehe..

had a lot of fun catching up wif my jc frenz n tok cock wif em.. haha.. there will always be laughter n jokes whenever they are ard lo.. hehe.. hope we can alot of gathering soon.. but everyone is like busy preparing for their exam at tis moment.. haiz..

wanna upload those photos here one but thk tis blog skin is really not appropriate for me to do that wif e settings lo.. gonna change e skin soon.. so wait for me k???

wanna send ah ma back one but den sth happened.. i went off at 12 wif andy, jackson n guan wen.. drove em back to panjang there cos i am meeting him for supper.. we actually had a small misunderstanding over e fone.. its abt small very small stuff again la..

i drive home alone ard 2 plus aft having supper wif andy & him at yew tee.. was feeling damn tired lo.. really scare will jux doze off half way driving.. luckily i managed to make it back but am having a terrible headache lo.. went to bed straight aft i finish bathing..

doing my maths qns now.. another 4 days to my mock exam but i am not prepared at all.. wat i haf revised is not even half of e syllabus lo.. haiz.. e worse thing is i am not even gan jiong abt e exam at all.. how can anything be worse den that rite..

quite a couple of things had happened within e wk.. i am still trying to adjust to those news..

i received a call its from e clinic tis afternoon.. its abt e medical report of my mum.. though e nurse din really tell me wat is e pro but from her tone n stuff, i know things are not that simple.. it mux be sth bad but i duno wat it might be.. i dun really dare to tell my mum abt e nurse's tone n that it might be sth serious coz i dun wan her to be worrying e whole nite lo.. so i jux told her e doc jux wanna discuss sth wif her.. i am feeling quite bad now.. really duno wat the doc will say tml.. the thought of sth bad really chills me..

went out wif him again n jux reached home less den an hr ago.. wanted to watch final dest 3 but there were no more tics.. in e end, we went to eat Sizzlers at Suntec City..

haf been meeting him for 3 or 4 consecutive wks already.. it had been like those times b4 we broke up.. he can be really nice n swt at times.. but he can be insensitive n uncaring too..

jux know from him today that he had actually came n read at my blog twice when his fren told him abt my entries.. previously, he told me that he din come n read at all.. so when i knew abt it today, i finally know why andy tells me that actually the guys know wat we gers are doing n they will feel sad abt it..

i feel that tis blog is where i can express my emotions n where i can let out my fustration.. because other than here i duno who or where can i express my emotions n feelings to.. i will jux write how i feel at that moment of time.. it mayb be in a fit of anger or it mayb anything.. i know tat sometimes wat i say might hurt HIM but i really dun haf e intention of doing so.. i jux wan to be truthful when i write my entry.. on e other hand, i dun wan him to feel sorry n pity me abt wat i went thru during the 1st few mth aft we broke up lo.. that is y i feel quite upset when i know that he did read some of my entries today..

i really hope that he meant it when he say he had forgottten my blog add.. cox i really dun wan him to come n read at tis blog again..

been trying 4 a few days to update my collection of photos up here.. but as u can see here.. i din succeed.. haha.. been very confused abt how to resize it to e actual size i wan.. do until wanna puke blood liao..

drove to sch today 2 meet Gan n e others.. study there for abt 3 ~4 hrs.. well, e progress is definitely beta den i am at home.. at least i wont be tempted by my bed n tv there.. thk muz really go there often to study.. haha.. but i wont get to drive soon coz my dad is going to drive his car to e apartment carpark in town soon.. haiz..

haven really get into e momentum to study yet.. hope the momentum is on the way now.. i am waiting for you~~ haha.. asked me out k? i feel so sian staying at home e whole day to study.. i miss clubbing..

i had so much to write.. there is a special blog on my b'day.. haha.. cause there are so much things for me to upload n write.. so plz go to this webbie..... hehe..

http://yamz21stbirthday.blogspot.com/

today is my 21st b'day but early in e morning i still haf to go for my last POA lect in sch.. wanted to borrow my dad's car today n bring my mum to oasis n treat her to Thai Village during lunch time one but den my dad said he needs to use the car today lo.. argh~~ ppl dun wan to use car he oso dun wan, when i need liao den he wans to use it lo..

in e end i went to JP to meet my aunt cox she said wanna get me my b'day present from there.. i met my mum on my way at bukit batok stn n went there together.. we had our lunch 1st den went walking ard.. den we passed by a manicure shop n they jux went in to haf a pedicure treat.. leaving me there watching em enjoy themselves.. ( i cant do e pedicure cox of my 1st toe nail.. ) i waited for more den an hr for em lo.. duno today is their b'day or mine lo.. haha..

aft that, we finally go get my present liao.. i chose a diamond bracelet for my b'day.. hehe.. it was a present by my aunties, uncles n some cousin.. really wanna thx em for e present lo..

frankly speaking, i really dun feel anything abt being 21 now lo.. to some extent, i dun feel that today is my b'day.. until some fren msg me to wish me happy b'day.. i am really touched by those who send me e msg.. (u know who u are lo.. ) thx for being such a sweetie n nice fren.. *muackz* i love u guys..

another 2 days more to my 21st b'day.. i am feeling indifferent towards it.. should i be feeling that way?? is all e others feeling e same way like i do now when their 21st b'day is approaching or am i e odd one.... well, to me at tis moment, that day will jux be like another day where i will spend it in loneliness......

ever since i broke up wif him, i always haf tis feeling tat a part of me is missing.. n tis feeling is becoming stronger n stronger as e time passes by... that feeling is really unbearable lo.. sometimes in e middle of e nite or b4 i fell aslp, i will thk of e times we were together n den tears will fall down from my face once again..

i know it had been quite long since we broke up le.. i shouldnt be grieving over it anymore.. but whenever i thk that sth i once had will no longer be mine anymore i will feel...... i cant really explain it in words.. my heart will feel really pain......

someone say tis : "once u broke up wif e other party, the best way to forget em n carry on wif ur life is to get em out of ur life completely" i do agree wif this statement but carrying it out is another thing.. its always easier said den done.. for me, i really cant do it..

met him yest 4 my b'day celeb.. i was really surprised when i saw him holding onto a 'adidas' paper bag when he met me at YCK stn.. he had bought me sth that i haf been wanting for very long le.. its a 'adidas' jacket.. i am really touched by him cox he is really observant tis time round.. tis is e thing that i haf never experienced b4 when we were together.. i should say that it is really a pleasant surprise.. cox i never ever thk that i will receive his b'day present so soon.. am really really touched la..

but one thing is, anna they oso bought me e adidas jacket.. so now i haf 2 jackets for my b'day.. hehe.. well, its 2 diff design so i thk its alrite ba.. so ppl dun buy me anymore jacket liao.. i haf more den enuff le.. wahaha..

jux like any other day, we went to watch a movie den go haf our dinner.. aft a while he jux went back to camp while i went to my grandma place to bai bai... we stayed at my grandma house until 12 plus b4 going home n slp.. it was really tiring sia..

jux came back from a movie session wif my family at CWP.. it has been yrs since we last saw a movie together le.. thought tis time round, i only watched wif my mum n sis, while my dad n bro watched another show, its still consider as a family outing ba.. haha..

watched 'I Am Not Stupid Too'.. thk alot of teens will feel e same way as me aft they watched the show.. our parents are all like that.. they are more stingy wif complements n praises of us when we grow older.. they will tend to look more abt our bad pts den gd pts.. the last thing which i raise both hands to agree one is..... they will not let u haf any chance to do any explanation cox whenever u wan to explain they will jux continue their scolding or jux ask u to shut up..

that is why whenever my dad started nagging i will jux keep my mouth shut w/o making any effort to explain anymore.. coz from past experience it will jux make things worse so its beta to shut up n 'listen'.. explaining to an elder who always thk they are right is a waste of time n a tiring thing..

b4 e movie, we went to Courts n shop there for 2 hours.. cox my dad wanna change his furniture n buy a new set of surround system n tv..... in e end, we bought a new tv n a surround system.. haha.. looking forward to e 'theatre-like' experience in my house soon.. wahaha...

haiz.. he told me today that he cant celeb my b'day for me tis sat liao.. quite disappointed cox b4 i left 4 KL he told me he might be able to celeb for me on sat.. haiz.. well, wat to do... i cant expect anything from him oso.. thk tis yr no one will be celeb my b'day for me on e actual day liao.. haiz~~~~~~

i am back~~~ jux came back from my once a yr 'New Yr KL trip' tis afternoon.. its always as boring as ever... the only thing that cheers me up is the shopping trip.. but tis time round i din buy alot of clothes oso..

1st day :
reached there b4 8 am.. my dad drove damn fast n it took us less den 3 hrs to reach there.. e moment we reached e hotel, me n my mum quickly rushed off to e shopping centre le.. time is money u know.. haha.. esp when most shop wont be open 4 e next few days.. at nite, we went out for dinner wif my relatives there..

haiz.. chi new yr is over... e next big thing will be my 21st b'day liao.. cannot imagine that i am turning 21 in less than 2 wks.. will anything changed aft that??? well, mayb my thking n my perspective of life will change.. haiz.. damn scare to thk abt it la...

heard a very saddening news today.. its abt my aunt one, she needs to go thru a operation n it will be really hard for her to go thru that.. both emotionally n physically.. felt really pity towards her but i cant do anything at all to help her.. the only thing i can do is acc her to go shopping today..

rite aft sch, i went to orchard to meet her n my mum.. we tried to keep her company so that she wont thk so much n she is behaving very normally jux like any other shopping trip.. but deep inside we know that she is jux puttin on a brave front lo.. at times when we return from e washroom trip, we can see her sitting there n staring into e space.. seeing her like tis really pains me alot lo..

it once again let me see that how fragile we are n how we always take things for granted.. only when sth happened den we will treasure wat we always had but din take a moment to realise its importance.. really feeling very sad now lo..

went to e Lib n study today.. finally i studied for >4 hrs.. its such an achievements for me lo.. esp it had been so long since i last did intensive studying like this.. but i nearly got tempted by my mum wif her shopping trip at Bugis wif my aunt.. haha..

i met HIM today n acc him to see the Chi Sin Sei cox he sprained his ankle during a ball game last wk.. i studied until 4 plus n went to meet him at CWP.. aft having our dinner there n haf a short window shopping time, we went to e clinic.. its actually very near to my place..

haiz.. very vexed now.. still thking abt my bday chalet thing.. duno wan to haf ladies nite or not.. feel like asking those jc guys along too.. thk it will be more fun lo.. argh~~~ any suggestions ???

realise that i haven been updating my blog for a very long time.. esp for dec one.. there is only a few entries.. haha.. thk i muz come more often to update le.. 1 gd pt abt writing blog is when u look back at wat u haf wrote previous, u will sometimes fine urself very stupid to be bothered by such tinny- winny stuff that u thk it SO BIG at that moment..

i really cant stand myself these days la.. been very restless n listless.. wats happening to me?? isit the symptom of me growing old!! well, i thk so lo.. ever since i step into this no. 2 world, i haf been feeling very sian n tired abt going out n staying out late... i dun haf e vibrant anymore..

mock exam is in another 6 wks time but i can tell u i haven even read thru 1/4 of my notes.. thk i will sure flunk for my mock.. dun really haf e feelings n mood to study at all.. nth to motivate me.. tml i am going to e Lib n really study intensively.. hope i can at least pick up some pace n find some motivation...

been racking my brain for a theme for my 21st bday party.. finally decide on one that is easier to achieve one.. haha.. BEACH WEAR.. its more suitable oso la.. since rite in front of my chalet is a small pool.. so everyone can jux go for a dip if they feel warm.. haha.. but frankly speaking i still prefer e SLP WEAR one.. haha.. well, shall wait for another occasion to organise that ba.. hehe...