endless & endless of walking...

OMG.. i was wondering have i ever walked so much in my life within 2 hours b4.... its really crazy.. i thk i should haf checked out the bus service rather den rely on my superb direction sense (which i am quite proud of b4 wat happened today.. ) to get me to the destination... guys, dun be fooled by the scale in the directory.. the wat seems to be 10 cm on the map was like a super duper long 20 min walk & dun underestimate those small branching road in the map also... it can be ur saviour sometimes..

but i must admit that i have taken the way turn if not, i would haf gotten to the place mayb like 5 mins earlier.. haha.. ( not much diff also.. ) after walking thru the endless industrial estate, i finally stop an uncle to ask him for some confirmation of the exact location even though the place is just b4 my eyes... ( but its like another 400m walk away from me... ) i just dun wan to make a wrong estimation & get me walking round n round the place.. i was cursing & swearing when the uncle left... er.... walking under the super hot sun with heels will make every gal lose their cool... esp when i am not those typical gal so it gives me every RIGHTS to do so!!

getting to the destination is not the end of the whole thing.. i must walk up the slope in order to get to the reception.. *faintz* luckily the person is quite nice to me & even directed me to a bus stop outside the building telling me wat bus i can take to the station.. i finally realise the importance of buses... its e best creation in the world...

den i have to meet another 2 custs ard shenton way area.. i am getting more & more familiarise with that place because of the appointments with my customer... another round of walking start... argh... den i still have to walk to chinatown to meet my mum who was there with my sister waiting for me @ Yum Cha... my legs were super duper pain due to the blister which 'developed' while i was walking & its underneath my sole somemore.. damn amazing rite...

as you guys know, i am already having the symptom of sickness & wat happened today made things worse.. in e end, i din go for my lecture @ nite & came back home together with my mum.. thk i am like left with no choice, if within the next 2 or 3 days, i will go to see a doc if i din get any better...

i dun wanna fall sick~~

thk i am falling sick soon.. can feel the 'sickness' already.. was coughing quite badly when i was in e office today.. luckily its not the SARS period if not i thk the whole office will be empty when i finished coughing.... i hate this coughing feeling.. its like i am gonna cough my lungs out lo.. is there any remedy to it other den seeing a doc?

this yr is really my suay yr.. so much bad things had happened & its e 1st time i feel so ugly.. face became rounded, complexion become the most cui ever & figure also... i can rem a song lyrics saying.... 'all good things will come to an end' so does it means that BAD THINGS WILL NEVER END??? if tat's e case den i thk i am better off dead.... PLS KILL ME!!!

just wanna pia this mth & dun work so hard anymore le.. i am really sick of the life already.. not conc on my studies & have to worry about daily expenses n stuffs... i lost my life to reality for far too long, its time to go back to the la-la land & enjoy the last half yr of my schooling life.. i dun wan to care about monetary issue from this new yr onwards.. that will be my new yr resoultion, together with me becoming more pretty... ( well, any slight improvement from the state now can be considered pretty lo... )

went to JB once again with my family cause mummy wanna go there to view the house.. there was a slight jam at the checkpoint there.. we went to eat the "zhu zha" once again because of mum's craving towards it..

the weather today is damn torturing.. nowadays i dun like the sun like how i used to love it.. went to our house & just sit there doing nth... that's my mum, our car & our NEW house..

after that we went to have the chendol nearby... as compared to wat we eat in singapore, its simply heavenly.. it doesnt contains alot of ingredients but the taste is 10 times better den wat we have here.. we went to Jusco after that & finally gt my makeup remover who went out of stocks like for mths..... den we came across this "snow white & the 7 dwarfs" x'mas display.. christmas is jux like 1 mth away & this yr is coming to an end... that is how fast time passes by...
mummy & the dwarfs...

thk every gal will watch the disney cartoon show & imagine that they are one of the princesses in the story... i am no exception also.. ( even though i am quite boyish & dun look feminine at all... ) ha.. but i thk the princess that i wan to be suits my character also.. its little mermaid... very stubborn when she comes to r/s & will go ahead with things that she has decided even though she know that she is going to become a mute & might even vanished into bubbles... haha.. sounds familiar rite.. den she is also not as feminine as the other princesses.. haha.. so gals, wat type of princess are u??

rotting days...

i have been rotting at home for the past 2 days.. felt so unproductive & sianz.. am just too lazy to move my whole body off the sofa to go anywhere.. yest was supposed to go for facial b4 going to meet qc, junhao (qc's frenz) & billy for MJ but i give it a miss even though i had made an appointment.. today i cancelled e appointment again just to rot at home...

was at billy's place yest nite for MJ.. only played 1 round & it took us more den 3 hrs.. its all because of qc la, kp winning & the dice was with him most of the time lo.. aft the MJ session, we decide to go for supper.. went to fetch lishan & go to the prata shop along bukit timah.. seriously i haven been there for more den a yr & was damn disappointed this time round with their food.. it has deteriorate ALOT... i had this murtabuk with qc & we din expect it to be that big lo.. its almost an A4 size paper... i am not kidding lo.. gonna upload the photos soon.. luckily i din order other food else i dun thk we will be able to finish that thing..

qc had almost half of the murtabak while i only eat like 1/4, e others were shared among lishan, billy & junhao.. haha.. thk qc must be having nightmare at night, dreaming of murtabak chasing him.. hehe..

wanna go to swim today one but the weather is super scary.. thk swimming in this kinda weather will sure kena sunburnt.. i admit i love to tan but den this is simply too scary & someone had already told me that i am too tan for a gal even though i haven been tanning for like mths so.... i should control myself from now on.. wanna go to jog but was simply too lazy also.. looking at my continuing growing tummy i know this cant persist for long.. i should really start giving myself some motivation to move & exercise now... mayb shopping for new clothes is not a bad idea.. haha..

another one more mth & this yr is gonna end le.. so there will & must be a brand new me.. erm.. this sounds like a gd motivation for me.. hehe.. so i shall work towards my goal... gambatte....

day with decisions~~

quite a no. of things happened this 2 days.. let start with yest 1st...

went for MA in e morning feeling super stone.. wat stun me the most is e moment i stepped he into the LT, we were told to take the test immediately.. it was said to be after the break one but thk he suddenly change his mind.. thk my 1 full day of studying din seems to help at all cause i duno how to do the process costing qn at all..

after lect, i rushed down to meet my mum & aunt who were on their way to miramar hotel for the dim sum buffet.. managed to reach there within 45 min.. they served really nice food there but that was all in e past.. now i thk i prefer to go to the yum cha high tea.. they serve more variety of food & dessert there but wat's not so gd is, they only start at 3...

that's only part of the food we had..

my cousin, my sis, my mum & fatty me...

that's me my aunt..

after filling up my stomach, i need to rush back for MSM at 330.. thk my insulin level just shot up because of the amout of food i took.. i slp all the way thruout the bus journey & i mean really SLP.. i am unaware that QC was on e same bus as me until i alight at the sch bus stop.. haha.. thk he dun wan to disturb my beauty slp when he board the bus.. aft the quality afternoon nap, i was damn awake lo... its the 1st time during MSM lesson that i am tat alert & can understand every single thing the lecturer taught...

love the wed afternoon lesson cause its like a gathering session.. wilson, brandon, alvin, philip, qc, chee leong, desmond were all in e same class.. haha.. its like a once a wk catching up thingy la.. so fun.. we were having a lot of plans during the break, discussing where to go after lect at 630.. in e end, we decided to play MJ at brandon place among the ktv, pool, dinner session.. Qc called another frenz from NTU to join us.. he really super onz lo.. he was actually going to study for his paper on fri but postpone it to a later time because of the MJ session....

i realised that brandon was staying at the same block as my cousin & was directly 9-10 floor below her.. we played one round until 11.. really super long never touched MJ le.. thk i gonna get addicted once again.. haha.. took 187 back home & reached slightly after 12.. aft bathing, i suddenly felt very cold & realised i am abit feverish.. i was having flu the whole day, thk the hectic schedule has made thing worse.. went to bed at 1 & covered myself up like a caterpillar.....

this morning, i woke up ard 9 plus & slack until 11 b4 going to work.. was supposed to meet huili for lunch but in e end, we din.. i met tzong zhao @ the station n acc him to get some snack b4 going to the office..

sth happened today & i thk it was quite serious.. 1st time i saw the managers getting so tensed up.. i only work for 3 hours & left le.. thk the atmosphere there was abit weird & i am in no mood to continue calling also even though they say it was ok... i went for dinner at clementi & ate alot of things lo... i just cant resist the satay there.. its damn delicious...

after dinner, we still go n get bubble tea.. wa.. super high calories diet today.. haha.. we reached sch very early & went to the lib with no intention to study.. we end up chatting there & met yaoquan who was there slping.. haha.. dun be mistaken, our lib is a very conducive place to study but that's only the case for me when exam is round the corner.. went to meet billy aft there w/o even flipping my SBG...

aft lect, i hitch a ride from billy who was going to panjang to meet his gf.. den i chatted with wilson on the phone when i was on e bus back.. watched some tv prog b4 going to meet edward, philip, alvin, meiyan for drks at al-ameen.. only managed to come home like an hour back.... reaslied how packed my day are tis days lo.. its never like the past few wks when i was practically rotting at home the whole day....

still thking whether i should go back to work tml or not.. thk the atmosphere will still be weird there one lo.. how??

i wanna go on a vacation~~~

been feeling suffocated this days.. i need a breather.. a time out from all those things that's happening to me.. a vacation is really wat i need now.. i need to go out n recharge n refresh myself but i cant do it due to alot of constraint.. time constraint, money constraint, studies constraint etc....

felt like going back to genting once again & let the cold freezing breeze bring my heart & soul back.. the life i am leading now is draining my heart & soul & its seems to be somewhere else.... i felt so old... i need the cool wind to refresh & recharge me.. slowly bring me back to life like how it used to when i was there the other time.. i really miss that feeling.. the feeling of sitting alone outside the open at nite, looking at the sky, enjoying the cool wind & leaving my mind blank..... i really wanna go there damn damn soon......

MA test tml...

skipped my MSM lecture today cause of the MA test tml.. din go to do my calling because of the MA test too... but guess wat... i just realised i cannot conc wif my fav comp on... having the tendency to go n play games etc... OMG... time is running low cause of tuition tonite....

can someone just get my hands off this stupid comp!!! i need to conc.....

pathetic..

i haf never ever felt so pathetic b4.. tml i have to pay the instalment for my sch fees but...... i really haf no means to pay everything myself & need to ask my dad to help me abit even though i know its hard to come up with the money now.. i really dun wan n dun wish to ask him for that money but i really have no choice.. he already gt alot of problems that need him to settle & clear & now i am adding on to all those existing ones that he is having.. felt damn useless.... cant even help em to lighten the burden...

we went to meet lawrence & tony later in the nite, asking them hows everything getting along & trying to get part of the basic so that i can settle my bill tml.. even aft getting the amount from my dad, i am still short of some amount.... argh~~ everyday all my life is revolving ard money issue... i really hate my life now... hate how complex life can become when its revolving ard monet issue... i finally realise the reason why things cannot be simpler in life cause its all because when we grow up, we will need to worry about money & its the cause of all the bad things in this world....

its a fun but tiring day...

went to EXPO early in e morning cause am working wif teck & kevin at this event thingy.. b4 we went there, we met at CWP to have breakfast... dun thk we will be able to eat anything during the working time so better eat 1st...

the event was actually a family outing thingy for OCBC staff... its at hall 1 which means we need to walk all the way from the train station to the end.. the walk is super duper long.. its my 1st time working at a event.. they already told us that we will be at the splash zone so i was quite prepared to get drenched today....

the whole thing seems like a indoor funfair.. everything seems so fun & its really fun.. we were assigned to go n help out at the registration cause our game will start later.. i tot registration will only take about 2 hours but i am wrong.. the whole thing took 4 hours!! damn sad cause we cant go to our splash zone n play.... but den, at the registration side, things are also quite fun n interesting... helping ppl tear the coupons, wear the tag & give out goodies bag.... i was simply influenced by the fun & happy mood of the whole event & crowd that it made me forget about my problems temporarily for that 6 hrs..... :)

ard 4 plus, we finally can go back to our zone.. by the time, kevin & teck were soaking wet already.. haha.. i tot there will be adults playing there but its actually meant for kids.... so u can imagine how chaotic it was over there.. the 4 of us who went back gt wet during the 1st round of our game... by the end, we were soaking wet like the guys already.... the kids were damn energetic.... i really admit defeat to em....

by the time the whole event ended, i was damn cold, tired & hungry lo.. we took a train down to holland village to have dinner cause shu they all were going to wala at nite.. we went to eat the 'zhu chao' at the coffeeshop in holland village.. everyone was damn hungry by den & we ordered alot of food..

after dinner, i went straight back cause i need to meet a fren to pass him sth... i was late because of that stupid 963 which made me wait for half an hr.. i met him at al-ameen & had some catching up with him...

where is my life???

i am leading a life at all.. i am having no control about wat is happening now.. wat i am doing now is not wat i wanna do.. i am sort of forced by circumstances to do n behave how i behave now.. actually wat i am doing now is making me tired physically, mentally & emotionally but i just cant help n need to do all this....

for the past 2 days, i left home early in e morning b4 10am & was out until 11 because of work.. i admit today i came home late its because of attending a odac frenz b'day thingy & meeting lijing they all at halo bar but i was working in e office like until 8pm lo... my life now is full of things & damn packed.. i gt no time for my entertainment & do things that i like cause i cant afford to waste anytime.. not only my body needs to work, my mind is also constantly working & thking about alot of things... from work, from sch, from studies, from r/s, from home, from all over the places except myself....

my mum is also giving me alot of worries now.. she is old enough to thk lo but she will always make the whole family worry about her... never thking of the consequences.. it really damn irresponsible lo... she had been always doing that, i really duno tis time round am i worrying unduly or its just a routine.. everything will be back to normal aft that..actually now, its not my fault lo but she is doing all this again making things seems like it all happened because of me & i should be fully held responsible for it.... i know wat she did is because she care for me & its out of kind intention... but i really need her to trust & believe in wat i said lo... do i really seem so 'distrustable'?? or she thks i am still those 3-yr old 'xiao mei mei', still ignorant & naive?? ha... thk in the eyes of all parents' we will always be a 3-yr old 'xiao mei mei' or 'xiao di di' no matter how old we are...

i am trying my best to thk at the better side.. she will be back home safe & sound in another few days.. nth will happened to her during tis period.. or should i say nth had happened to her.... trying to assure myself & lead a normal life, still working & stuffs... argh~~~ all the existing problems are making me suffocated, why must i haf this additional one coming in now!!!!

at this moment, i am thking during that time, am i really too much?? i know its e 1st time after i grown up that i behaved this way, i lost it totally & din care about her feelings n everything at all... thk its all because of all the things that's building up.. all the stress n problems contributes to the emotional outbreak & make me lose my cool..... i am seriously damn stressed up now... if this goes on, thk i am gonna get depression...... nowadays, everything seems so grey & negative... i am having all sorts of negative thoughts but at this pt i will still try my best to do things that cheer me up & help me keeps those thoughts out of my mind.. but i am really scare that one day, i wont be having any more energy to fight all this thoughts & might just succumb to it.... when will things turn for the better cause i really dun thk i am able to last any longer if all this keeps getting worse.....

breaking down~~

alot of things happened to me recently & i had been letting all those problems accumulating w/o solving it... that is all because i actually have no idea to go n deal with the problem & its sometimes out of my means now to solve it even though i knew the solutions.. felt damn helpless all the time but to others i am still acting on to be strong & pretend that i can & am capable to deal with all this things on my own...

nowadays, i am more interested in making money than other things.. i have even placed it as my 1st priority now.. in e past, my family & studies are the 1st & 2nd respectively now....... i haven been touching on my notes n studies for quite some time.. even if i do, its only MA.. for all those assignment that was required, i did none at all.. its e 1st time in my entire 3 yrs that i am doing this.. i cant say that i am a very hardworking student that will constantly do her revision but i am someone who will try my best to hand up the assignment in e past no matter wat...

this wk, things gt worse.... i cant even conc in lectures & listen to wat the lecturer is talking about because my mind will be all about part time job & how to solve my monetary issue.... i had become a slave for money w/o me realising.. wat's happening tis yr makes me realise the impt of money...... like wat i say in e past, it might be my karma... last time i am living too well le... everything is well provided for me & i dun really need to worry about all this kinda things that i am worried about now...

unlike the past, i am more open to others about my problem.. i dun thk i will even write about all those things that i had just written above in e past at all... not even wanting to tell my close frenz about it cause i thk it just only show em that i am a weakling & it just make em feel that u are making a fuss over sth... well, at this pt of time, i still thk tat way but i am not afraid to show that i am a weakling anymore cause i know everyone will have their weak moment & needed some help from others...

but no matter wat, i will still try my best not to break down & cry in front of others... over my entire life, i can use one hand to count how many times have i cried in front of my frenz... this figure include those face to face & over the phone one...

today sth happened b/w me & my mum.. i was damn pissed with wat she did & went off just like tat.... partly because i need to go somewhere to pay my dad's bill but mainly due to i need some time alone, away from her cause i know both of us staying together at that time will not do each other any gd... its e 1st time this thing happened...

i called anna out & meet me ard her area... wanna thx her for her company.. she came out & accompany me specially even though her exam is like 9 days away.... i really need someone's company at that pt of time & was really glad that she was the one ard.... thx darling for ur companion, for ur listening ear, for ur time, for ur everything.........

i came back home & my mum wanted to chat with me... seriously, i dun thk she get my pt & i dun thk i get hers at that time lo... or should i correct it to, she NEVER get my pt on that particular issue b4, even until now, she dun get it.. i really din see a pt in continuing that conversation at that time lo... its really quite redundant to continue that topic cause its just a waste of each other time...

i dun dare to say that i am a very fillial daughter but most of the time i will go along with wat my mum say but wat happened today really make me damn pissed with her & makes me 'officially' hang up her call w/o feeling any guiltiness at all for the very 1st time.... i thk i am really damn damn mad with her.. in e past, no matter wat happened i will try my best to put her health in e 1st place but today, i just dun give a damn about it totally..... its e 1st time in my life that i thk she is really being TOO MUCH....

so u guys know how bad i felt inside of me.... with wat happened today & the problems that had been accumulating like mths back, i broke down in my room... felt badly in need to chat to someone or at least have someone who is over the phone with me... aft a msg was sent to a fren asking whether can i call him, my phone ring.. the moment i picked up the call, i just started tearing for no apparent reason.. thk the person on e other side was stumped... haha... as for me, i duno who was on e other line also cause i din even let him have the chance to speak & i just shocked him..... only aft a few line of consolation conversation den i started asking who he is.... it turned out to be yang..... come to thk of wat happened just now, its quite funny..... but at that pt of time, my mind just couldnt thk & i just couldnt control my tears & stop crying.... its really damn bad.... i just wanna thx him for his call cause at that time, its really wat i needed the most....

really wanna thx anna & yang for being there for me when i needed em the most.. i am really appreciative towards wat they had done for me.. no words can describe how grateful i am towards em at this pt of time.... once again, thx guys.....

busy busy busy~~~

for the past 2 days or so my life is full of progs... time seems to be passing very fast w/o me realising at all... its already year end now & christmas is just round the corner... in another 1 mth plus time, it will be a brand new yr le!! that day while i was writing the date, i realise how fast time passes during this 2nd half of the year.. sometimes i really wonder isit because of wat i am going thru & how i wish time will passes by faster so that i can forget about him?? well, dun wish to go n thk about it now..though my life is really very packed n busy but i am really enjoying it... :)

let's start with wat happened on Fri :

met yang at woodlands 1st b4 going down together.. we met those guys at Cine & went to have our dinner.. its a super wrong move cause the movie we are watching is Saw 4.. i have forgotten about its gruesome intensity.. as usual, the show is full of BLOOD... the starting scene really left alot of impact on me even until now... yang went off halfway cause he really cannot take it.....

aft the show, we went to coffee club to have a drk.. talked about quite alot of things cause its been mths since we last met each other.. everyone is busy with their own stuffs & its really hard to get this kinda of gathering unless its someone's birthday...

ah shu & ah li...

the birthday boy ---> fatty neo

the childhood sweetheart...

the fatty & skinny gang of 02s2

the full strength

finally our food came & its feasting time.. hehe.. i shared the mudpie with shu & get a vanilla mocha for myself...

that's ms ah shu with her creamy mushroom..

that is e amount of food we had...

we were discussing about our christmas celebration thingy when billy & yaoquan came... i left with em after awhile for a '2nd round' of entertainment.. hehe.. in e end, we decide to go to St James.. never went there b4 so am quite interested to go n take a look... but b4 we went there, we went down to Zouk to take a look 1st & met Weiming there.. he was outside velvet with his frenz when he called me...

a frenz of ours sign us into St James & we went to powerhouse, dragonfly & boiler.. the music & crowd that day was quite bad except for dragonfly but its really too packed to stay in there.. Kevin was there at boiler with Tzong Zhao & another fren but i din stay with em at boiler.. we left at 1 plus & went for supper b4 going back home...

billy, me & yaoquan...

me & my best uni guy frenz.. we are the best buddies..

the 2 cousins...

Sat :

i went to the interview early in the morning with Kevin & Tzong Zhao after only 5 hours of slp.. was really damn tired.. we get recruited after the interview & started work right away.. had the trg & on the spot, they made us do the calling le.. we worked until 5 & went to Vivocity cause Tzong Zhao need to get a b'day present for his frenz.. we walked ard the place but din really stayed there for long..

ard 6 plus, we went to the hawker at harbourfront interchange there for have our dinner.. reminded me about some past memories but it din stayed there for long & i am not as disturbed by it as it is in e past le.. :) we stayed there until 7 plus & i met teck.. made him take e same bus as me back even though he gt a direct bus home.. hehe...

snapshot.. he is reading at his schedule...

he went home to get his bicycle b4 coming down to meet me for supper at al-ameen.... i dun intend to eat alot one lo but he ordered alot of food so....... this time die liao..... i am really gaining weight like nobody business... i need determination & motivation to slim down down!!!!

now shall come to today....

woke up at 8 plus cause need to reach the workplace @ 11... as usual, kp doing the calling n stuffs... the results were not as gd as yest but i am quite satisfied le.. the managers there treated us to lunch today.. they brought us to a indonesian stall at 'Gong Sek Gai'.. the food there is really nice & authentic but i dun dare to eat much because of the weight constraint...

after work, 1 of the managers called me into the room & offered me another job offering.. its sort of like an internship thingy & sounds really attractive but i still need to thk about it.... den i went down to meet yaoquan & lijing who were there specially to pick me up to go to ECP.. we are going to blade there today with some of the odac ppl.. finally i am getting into some odac activities that is healthy....

i am the only there who need to go n rent a blade.. super mafan but surprisingly, the blade today is really gd... hehe.. we stayed there for 2 hours plus & blade to the jetty again.. its really fun blading with em.. thk we shall come out for tis kinda outing more.. hehe... after that, we went to the HK cafe at the Ubi area.. me & crystal took billy's car while e others took yq's one.. i must really thx yu peng for lending me his slippers... really pai seh cause in e end, he had no slippers to wear & had to walk barefooted on the road.. hehe.. another person i wanna thx is wayne, for his mocha blended treat.. hehe...

had a super sumptous meal at the HK cafe lo.. felt super guilty now... thk i gain more calories than wat i burnt today lo.. after the meal, quite a few of us went to the Settlers' Cafe for our 2nd round... we only managed to play an hour cause the place is closing at 11.. we played this game called Saboteur & its about some miner wanting to mine gold but they are obstructed by those sobotuer... its quite fun esp when u are playing in a group.... thk we are the noisest group in that place...

played until 11 & we wanted a 3rd round one but everyone is quite tired & some of us is having lesson tml morning... so we had to call it a day... yq sent me, lishan, lijing & eric back.... he really very cham lei.. everytime he go out with me, he will need to send me all the way back to woodlands b4 going back home.. really felt quite bad towards him lo....

felt like crying~~

i had been trying to do my MA tutorial from 1 until now & i only managed to do 1 qn... worse thing is i still required the solutions to help me understand & do the qns..... never felt so demoralised b4... felt like crying...

its been mths since i last started my sch but i haven been doing my assignment for other modules.. i have only touched on MA... felt so lost & lagging behind of time... qc said this yr will gonna be a tough yr & now i understand wat he means... having 3 incompetant lecturer isnt helping at all & its adding on to my burden instead... i need alot of time for self-study but i still have to work in order to sustain myself..... argh~~~ help me!!!!

slping beauty...

i have been slping more den 16 hours in total.. that's damn alot & now i am having this symptom when u slp too much ---> headache...

the clubbing on wed was crazy.. me & yaoquan had dinner together after i met him in sch.. we went to the tiong bahru shanghai restaurant.. its been more den 8 mths since we last went there.. that time was b4 he sold his civic away.. aft dinner, we went to zouk & it was already damn crowded.. had to park at river valley there cause the carpark anywhere near zouk is full, even the traffic was damn chaotic...

kevin & his fren were there too & they were behind the odac ppl in the queue.. can u believe, the queue had stretched until the bridge there.. wow... den we cant go in thru velvet cause there's a rule today.. if phuture n zouk was full ( which normally they will.. ) those having velvet chop cannot go in until 230.. so no choice, we have to continue queuing even though my fren at the velvet queue asked me to go over n join him.. argh!!

so from 1030 we stayed in the queue until 12 & end up being barred from entry cause everywhere was FULLHOUSE.... wat the hell.... so no choice, we have to change location & went to clarke quay instead.. went to the club call 'arena'... the music is not bad & there's a live band singing in between...

we stayed there until 4 & decide to go for supper cause the odac ppl from zouk was there already... by the time i was quite gone le.. find it damn hard to open my eyes & have to keep it close all e time.. when i reached the place, i was like lying on the table, slping most of the time.. totally duno who was there & wat they were doing & talking about... haha.. just waiting for time to pass & go home only.. hehe...

yaoquan send me back home in e end.. he had to take e longer route back because he scare i will wan to puke & he cant stop his car immediately alone the expressway.. :P thk i really always trouble him.. super pai seh ah... make him travel longer & reached home later.. by the time i reached my place its already 6 thk for him its even later lo....

slacking once again~~

was supposed to go & study wif jean darling today but we end up eating at Cartel & shopping ard bukit panjang plaza....

the weather today is damn nice for slping.. when my alarm clock ring, i just off it & started lazing.. ha.. its been so long since i last did that... i just hate to have morning classes during this weather...

was late for lesson once again cause of the traffic but its understandable as everyone is moving slower.. finally hand up my MA assignment.. aft class, we decide to go to panjang to study & met samantha @ the bus stop... went for lunch at panjang together cause she was going there to get a cake for her brother also.. that's when we decide to go to Cartel & 'give up' our study plan..

look at the amount of butter we took..

that's the combo meal we shared.. its damn filling..

we chatted about quite alot of things cause its really very hard for us to get together.. aft the meal, we went to shop for jean's fren b'day present.. its been half a yr since i last shop there, the last time was when we were having our CF paper.. haha.. still can rem how we used to study there b4 our paper.. hee...

i came back home after that cause was feeling damn tired but i just cant get to slp.. so jus nua & wait for time to pass.. gonna go & prepare soon for a zouk nite out with the odac ppl ( including billy & yaoquan.. ) hope its fun.. hehe...

brought ah chye to the facial place yest right aft my lect.. as for me, i went to find my aunt who stayed near the place instead cause now damn broke to go for facial.. had some catching up wif her cause quite long din see her also le.. the facial session lasted for ard 2 hours...

den we took a bus down to orchard to support pingwei who was there for SUBARU challenge.... when we reached, it was their breaktime & the whole thing is super chaotic.. they have to eat, drk, go to the washroom, rest, get the massage & do the necessary during that 5 min break!!! i must really salute to those who is still there when i reached.. its been more den 60 hrs since they stood there w/o any slp & must withstand those super unpredictable weather...

sorry for the poor quality photos.. my phone camera sucks..

aft seeing him getting his break, we went to haf our dinner @ mos burger cause the foodcourt is full of ppl... must thx ah chye for the treat.. :) aft dinner, we went straight up to support pingwei & his sister who was at the other side.. they really had alot of supporters & this moral support from em really help em to hang on in the competition.. we stayed from 8 plus until 2 plus b4 going back home with chye.. wei shyang stayed behind to keep him company cause yest nite is really a very crucial timing for em....

when i woke up this morning, i am really concerned whether is he still inside the comp & started msging em.. wei shyang only manage to reply me in e afternoon.. he told me that pingwei was out of the comp & in quite a bad state now, he is start to hallucinate already... he was the 2nd runner up in the comp.. really felt very 'ke xi' for him cause he was still in a very very gd state when we left him... but den i believe he already done his best & reached his limit le cause he is someone who is very very determined & will not gif up unless its really really necessary.... i felt really proud being a fren of his & have the chance to go to support him.. he really din let his frenz & family members down lo... to the frenz & family, he already won the match le.. :)

other than that, i also admire his sister.. she is very strong n determined also.. the whole lot of us can see she is at the limit & cant hold on anymore le... alot of ppl had told her to give up but she just dun wan.. she say she will want to hang on for as long as possible... from her looks we know she really cannot le but her mindset is really damn determined & positive... i must admit defeat to her determination cause i know i will never behave that way....

another thing i wanna mention is my dad's car gt into an accident!! the car was crashed by another m'sia car at the T-junction near my place.. when my mum called & tell me this i was damn sian lo.. cant imagine how my dad felt at that pt of time lo.. thk its even more sian den me.. wa.. tis yr we were damn suay lo... its not e 1st time this yr le!!!!! argH~~~~

biggest surprise~~~

went to JB early in e morning wif my family cause i need to go & get my make-up remover which is depleting... was feeling damn down tis morning cause i cant find my fav coin purse.. had been searching high & low for 2 days le but still cannot get it.. super sad.. :( tot my day would be damn sian already but i was TOTALLY wrong...

we went to have the 粿什 that mummy has been craving for mths.. its quite different from those normal one cause the 'kuey' is being replaced by hor fun.. on top of that, there is 猪血!!! its been super long since i ate that.. can still rem when i was really young, mummy would always bring me to Maxwell market to eat mee sua with that.. hehe.. those were the gd old memories...

the food looks appetising... yum yum...

as the time was still early, daddy suggested to go n take a look at the showroom of terrace house near Jusco.. since the shop wont be opening so early, we did not have any objection to wat he had suggested.. looking at those nice showroom, i will really have this envious feeling & wonder when will i be able to get such a place for my parents...

that's the swimming pool at one of the showroom..

we just kp looking at the diff showroom in the vicinity den daddy just drove into a completed housing estate... he drove in using the resident pass & park in front of the 1st house.. den he took out a key & ask my bro to go & open the gate.. the 1st thought that came to my mind is, he just got a new project & is bringing us to come & take a look at the place only.. that's wat he normally do lo... i even tell my mum tat when she questioned him whether he had bought the place... but tis time round, i was wrong........ my dad had bought the place & its only like 19km away from my place!!!! i was damn damn shocked.... this is e 1st time in my life that i experienced this feeling.. its not that i din experience any shocking or surprise b4, its just that this surprise is too big for me to handle le..... he had bought the place 2 yrs back & we din know until now.... wow, i mus really hand it to my dad... he had kept us in e dark for almost 2 yrs!!!!

we went to Jusco after our feelings had settled down.. went to haf pizza for lunch b4 walking ard the place.. my make-up remover went out of stock so need to place an order with em instead... den we went to stock up our daily neccessity b4 going back home...

felt quite bad cause i din managed to go & support pingwei who is in the subaru challenge.. no one to go down with me.. hope he wont mind & hope that he will hang on & win the competition.. :)

差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分
遇上了错的人
渐渐的吻在她无心的嘴唇
感觉像一个旅程 走完了就分
错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分
爱情的岔口
你是我等不到的路人
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分
错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分 如果没缘分
我也会固执的为你一人
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分　

went to JB with my mum yest for lunch.. never tot that i would be 'leaving the country' yest.. when i was at the custom, some memories flashed back.. my whole mood is being affected to some extent once again... but i am trying my best to keep it at the controllable level...

we went to the HK cafe again & had the korean style stone rice.. haha.. abit funny rite, go to the HK cafe to eat korean food... but we gt drk the 'yuan yang' so still alrite la..

that's the japanese style one for my mum.. as for mine, i forgot to take the photo.. haha.. only realise that when i was stiring it... ( for ur reference, i took the curry pork one... )

as usual, we walked ard the place & see if there is any cheap bargain.. actually i am more interested in going to the super big jusco at the outskirt cause i need to get my make-up remover from the shop there.. apart from that place, i will have to go to KL or genting to get it!! shall ask my dad to bring me there on tis coming sun... hehe... finally no tuition on sun le, can go out wif my family.. because of the tuition thingy, they have been going to JB on sun w/o me.....

we came back in the late afternoon & i helped my dad to settle some of his stuffs.. aft that, i finally get my ass down to study & should i say read thru the articles for my MA.. next wk gt 2 assignment due & i am still blur about the concept.. having a test during one of this wk somemore.. tis time abit gone le...

as for today, i woke up early in e morning cause gonna work @ tampines with kevin.. luckily i gt a straight bus to go there so the time travelling is similar when i go to town.. as usual, we were quite slack in the morning.. not much mood to do the calling but force myself to do it cause at least need to account to the person who is paying us.... den the fujifilm IC call me up to brief me about the pay & the job scope.. yes, i got another new part-time job!!! this time round, i will be going ard selling fujifilm cameras.. just hope everything will be finalised & wont be like the SE thing..

that's how messy is our table when we are at work... ( that's still not the worse!!! )

aft work, we went to IKEA.. hee.. was craving for their swedish meatball & cheesecake but i din have both in e end, we went to eat their hotdog instead & den went over to Giant le.. din stay at IKEA to shop although i am more interested in staying there den going over to Giant cause i thk shopping at IKEA will need more time & energy but i am having none at that pt of time.. dun wish to go back home too late.... the Giant is really very similar to those that is in malaysia but it is still smaller in comparison... the coffee there is damn cheap & i bought 1 packet together with a hazelnut cuppucino back specially from tampines.... been quite a coffee addict recently.. esp having alot of cravings for hazelnut cuppucino......

after having dinner with kevin, we both took 168 back.. was thking of meeting alvin they all if they are still at CWP when i go back but by the time i call em, they were already preparing to go play basketball le... wanted to join em but while walking back, i felt damn tired so i din go in e end...

that is the present yaoquan brought back from aussie for me.. i actually have the intention to go & get it so when i saw the present i was really damn happy & surprised... must really thx him for being so sweet & nice towards us.. thk he muz have spent a bomb on the presents that he bought for us... he had to forego his favourite steak cause he need to buy the present for us lo... damn poor thing...

sitting on my bed with my special room light on & listening to the songs.. feeling abit moody now.. mayb i shoulnt use the word moody, thk emotional is a more appropriate word to describe how i am feeling ba...

was being reminded of the things that happened again today.. thk this will last for another few more days ba.. just hope it will be like today & wont get any worse... at least, i am still able to handle wat's going on inside of me now....

i dun thk this will be going on for long ba.. everyone is like back to where they are used to be already.. back to where their life is like when we din cross each other's path... i am saying this in general but in this aspect, yes, i mean me & him... we once promised that we will always be there for each other... i believe at that point of time we really meant wat we said but actually its very hard to fulfil it... that's the cruelity of reality & humanity... its not because we dun wan to do it but its because we cant.. i always believe in our heart, we will still care for each other just that using action to show it might be abit hard for us ba... :)

duno why, i just felt that we juxt cant be close frenz.. we can be considered to be clubbing frenz in e past, only asking each other whether we will be going to club that day or not.. mayb its due to my lifestyle in e past ba.. if not, i will ask him out to study but that's like only once.. other den that, we like dun haf any association at all until that point of time when things started... now, its even worse... thk he will feel weird asking me to go club because of wat we had gone thru & studying together its abit out of the qns also cause both of us cant conc when we are studying together.. so that leaves us with ZERO association now...wow, that's like even worse than the past...

sometimes i might thk that things might still be e same way as it is IF we din go to genting together.. haha... alot of ppl might thk ---> pls la, where gt so many if lo... things had already happened le so why bother to go & thk about the IF.... true la, but human will always like to thk about the possibilities when there is a IF because it just allows em to let their imagination run wild once in a while & let em enjoy the different 'outcomes'.... but come to thk of it, i really dun regret about the decision that i made during that time cause that outcome is sth which is beyond my imagination list... so now instead of feeling sad, i should feel contented instead & seriously, i am feeling that way... just like wat the song said even though i am losing him, i will do that with blessing... i really appreciate wat he had done for me in e past & wanna thx him for everything, everything that he had taken part in my life....

insomia~~

just came back from the 'fetching yaoquan' session.. yes, our mr yaoquan has come back from aussie... really missed him alot.. went to billy's place & go down to the airport wif him since he was driving.. was trying to study at home this afternoon but was distracted... distracted by wat i had written this afternoon......

was supposed to go to work but i din cause i just wan to be out doing sth i like to make up & make me forget the sad feeling & i dun thk working will help me to achieve that... so i rather forego the chance to earn some extra cash....

how's my new image with e hairband?? billy thk it looks abit weird... :(

yaoquan was @ the arrival pick up point when we reached there but lijing is still not there yet so we decided to go & fetch her... aft picking her up, we went to geylang to have tow huay & the oyster mee sua..... the mee sua is really quite nice.... den we went to pick lishan who is at clarke quay up.... wanted to go to settlers cafe but it closes at 11... so we change to timbre & this is where lijing got treated a flaming tower by billy... i see also feel seh for her lo....

the FLAMING tower...

we din stay at timbre for very long cause they tot of going to club @ zouk but we end up going to billy's place to try out yq's collection.. the bacardi 151 which has a super high alcohol content...

billy : "pour faster lei, i wan to try... "

yaoquan :"relac la..good thing is worth the wait lo... "

( the above conversation is created by ms yam... )

see the color of the alcohol, its yellowish.. ( the normal one is white in color... )

den yq show me a picture of another alcohol call 'astime' ( or sth like that ) that is packaged like a perfume.... but dun be taken in by its appearance cause it has an alcohol content of 80%!! that is almost equivalent of drinking pure alcohol used during injection.. that's crazy.....

lijing & billy's dog, coco....

am feeling super tired now but i just cant get to slp... alot of things are going thru in my mind now.... half a yr or i should say 26 wks back, at tis moment, i am like preparing to go to genting with em....... ha, you guys must have tot i am crazy or damn bo liao rite?? got the time to go n rem & thk about all this... sometimes i thk i am also very eng ah.. can rem & bother to rem this kinda of things... but that's me, when i get serious about sth, i will rem all those very small & minor details if not i will just f*** care about practically everything & will not waste my time & brain cell to go n thk about it...

i admit that i will still be affected by this issue but the sadness level is not as much le... its not excruciating anymore but i can still feel the pinch...