sitting on my bed with my special room light on & listening to the songs.. feeling abit moody now.. mayb i shoulnt use the word moody, thk emotional is a more appropriate word to describe how i am feeling ba...

was being reminded of the things that happened again today.. thk this will last for another few more days ba.. just hope it will be like today & wont get any worse... at least, i am still able to handle wat's going on inside of me now....

i dun thk this will be going on for long ba.. everyone is like back to where they are used to be already.. back to where their life is like when we din cross each other's path... i am saying this in general but in this aspect, yes, i mean me & him... we once promised that we will always be there for each other... i believe at that point of time we really meant wat we said but actually its very hard to fulfil it... that's the cruelity of reality & humanity... its not because we dun wan to do it but its because we cant.. i always believe in our heart, we will still care for each other just that using action to show it might be abit hard for us ba... :)

duno why, i just felt that we juxt cant be close frenz.. we can be considered to be clubbing frenz in e past, only asking each other whether we will be going to club that day or not.. mayb its due to my lifestyle in e past ba.. if not, i will ask him out to study but that's like only once.. other den that, we like dun haf any association at all until that point of time when things started... now, its even worse... thk he will feel weird asking me to go club because of wat we had gone thru & studying together its abit out of the qns also cause both of us cant conc when we are studying together.. so that leaves us with ZERO association now...wow, that's like even worse than the past...

sometimes i might thk that things might still be e same way as it is IF we din go to genting together.. haha... alot of ppl might thk ---> pls la, where gt so many if lo... things had already happened le so why bother to go & thk about the IF.... true la, but human will always like to thk about the possibilities when there is a IF because it just allows em to let their imagination run wild once in a while & let em enjoy the different 'outcomes'.... but come to thk of it, i really dun regret about the decision that i made during that time cause that outcome is sth which is beyond my imagination list... so now instead of feeling sad, i should feel contented instead & seriously, i am feeling that way... just like wat the song said even though i am losing him, i will do that with blessing... i really appreciate wat he had done for me in e past & wanna thx him for everything, everything that he had taken part in my life....