i am sick for e past 2 days... the feeling of being sick is so terrible.. esp when there is no special someone to care abt me..

finally, the NTT Docomo exhibition job come to an end on fri.. jux like last yr, the feeling of emptiness set in rite aft the exhibition ended.. but as compared to last yr, the feelings are not as strong.. this is because last yr while i was working for the exhibition job, we broke up... i haf to go thru all e break up thing n all e everyday crying...

its really fun working for em n playing wif all e lastest handset they had.. this time round, we got to play wif some handset that is not even launched at japan.. haha.. on top of e handset, the bear bear they gif out tis yr is even cuter..


aren't these bear cute........ hehe..


me & my favourite mitsubishi (pink) & fujitsu (white) handset...

we had a 2 days trg @ Conrad hotel like last yr.. as most of us were called back from last yr thus the trg is more like a revision to us.. one of their trainer this yr is really cute but on e 1st day, he looks really terrifying... but as we get to know him beta, there's no way u can resist his charm..... haha..

on e last day of work, i brought my camera n took alot of photos.. i went walking ard the exhibition hall during my break wif peifen & tze xuan..


some self shots taken @ the resting room..


wif the LG & Samsung gers..

as usual, we had a mini celebration @ e end of e exhibition.. last yr, uncle ken posed as a old granny as e finale thingy.. tis yr, uncle ken & another guy mimic e LG booth hip hop dance.. it was really hilarious.. but too bad, i din managed to take em down..


me & the i mode crew... they are really nice & cute.. hehe..


all the NTT staff & hostess..


some really funny candid shot..

b4 we left expo, we saw the LG korean hip hop dance group & managed to take a photo wif em.. LG specially hired em from korea to dance & perform this bitz box ( hope i spell correctly ) for em.. they were really cool..

this super cool LG choco was given to me by a really nice visitor..

we went to the airport sakae 2 haf our dinner wif leon & some of e JAC ppl... they are giving us a treat for our hardwork over e past few days.... its really swt of em lo....

i am back from genting le.... well, in fact i am back since last thur but was too lazy to come n update the blog cox there's so much photos i need to upload to photobucket 1st.. and the uploading speed is like super slow thus that deter me from coming here.. haha..

the trip there was alrite.. its e 1st time we took a nite bus there so everything is quite new to us.. and our whole family is really excited abt it.. before 4 pm on mon we were already in JB liao.. and the waiting process started since den..


having our dinner at Secret Recipe...


we invented this '5 stone' game while waiting.. can u see how bored we are??

DAY ONE
we reached genting @ 4 am in e morning n had to wait until 5 b4 we can get e number to check-in.. i tot aft an hr of waiting i will be able to go e hotel room n rest but i was wrong.. aft we got the no, they told us we had to wait until 9 am den can check-in & get a room....... this means I HAD TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER 4 HRS.........

we went to eat @ mac 1st n went walking ard enjoying the coolness of genting.. although the waiting seems really boring n endless but its not a bad thing at all cox it lets me haf a chance to see my 1st sunrise @ genting.. it was really very beautiful....


isnt it beautiful??

finally @ 9 am, the check-in thing started n we managed to get a room aft 15 mins of waiting.. we got up to the room but was disappointed as it was still in a mess.... left wif no choice, me n my mum went to e casino while my bro & sis went off for their rides... the casino trip was really an eye opener for me... all e stuff seems so interesting n new to me..

we had our dinner @ pizza hut there.. it was really cheap as compared to singapore..



after dinner, we decide to go outside n enjoy the mist n natural cold air.. everything seems so blur wif all e mist but it was really romantic.. it reminds me of e time when me & HIM went there wif my family.. that was like 2 yrs back but i can still rem all e details very vividly.... haiz..


the mist is really cooling....


how i wish HE is here wif me...




DAY 2
aft slping for less den 4 hrs, we woke up to haf our breakfast again @ mac... everything was like yest, me & mum went to Casino, Bro & Sis went out to play.. haha.. thk that's the only 2 entertainment there for kids n adults there...

but for today, i din stayed up late to go to e Casino.. in fact, i went back to the hotel wif my bro & sis n was knocked out halfway while i was watching the world cup...

Day 3
we woke up at 7am in e morning cox e bus we are taking will be leaving Genting at 930am.. we had breakfast at mac again.. frankly speaking, i am damn sick abt eating mac breakfast....

we went to the bus terminal n was damn pissed wif the person in charge of our bus.. b4 we went to genting, the in charge told us we could change the bus if there were still seats available on e bus we wanted to sit.. but when we were there, the person in charge there was like saying no abt tis n no abt that.. in e end, he even lied to us saying that the bus we wanted to change to is going to penang instead of JB....& he gt the cheek to shout at me n my mum lo... its really to much lo...( i cant say out the company's name directly, but its e one wif e most buses over there... )


its so colorful...


we reached JB at 4 pm.. its a long journey as compared to the trip to genting.. we had our dinner @ City Square 1st b4 coming back home.. finally, the Genting trip has come to an end.....

jux reached home not long ago.. was celebrating bao ge ge's 21st b'day @ holland village jux now.. i rushed there rite aft my work @ raffles city today.. thx 2 lawrence for e ride there, or else i will reach there jux in time to see e Settlers Cafe doing their closing lo..

tis is my 4th or 5th time to the cafe.. but its still so interesting to me.. there's so much diff n unique board games that i wanna try but do not haf e time to.. esp today, by e time i reached there, its already 920.. which is less den an hr to their closing time..

we bought him a cake n caught him off guard when we started singing e b'day song.. hehe..


the b'day boy & his b'day cake...



the 4 beauties & the b'day boy.. haha....


den kaixiang decide to gif andy a kiss..... ( those underage plz dun see tis... )


notice any diff b/w the guys and the gals.......


me wif grace & my lover ( andy ) haha...

we were really engrossed wif the game 'apple to apple'.. it is a really chaotic games where there is a judge who decide who is e winner.. to be e winner, we muz match the cards we haf to the word chosen... e one who can explain y his/her card matches the word or makes e most sense out of everything win.... the forfeit for those who din win a single game at all is to kiss e B'day boy...

aft playing at e Settler's Cafe, we went to another pub & start our 2nd round... as usual, grace kept losing the game n kp kena forfeit.... within a few rounds, her face was damn red liao.. haha.. really duno when all tis ' andy & jackson bully grace' thing will end lo..


the best JC gang in e world.....


my best JC sisters.... ( look @ how red grace is... )

btw..... today is oso e day when we broke up for a yr... time really flies, a yr had passed..... there's no more hard feelings now... but sometimes when i looked back, i still enjoy the special days n time we shared.... i oso duno how to write out my feelings now.. there's so much i wanna say but i jux cant seem to find e rite word to describe it..

i bought my Sony T-5 camera on wed at funan wif geraldine.. but aft using it, i am Damn upset wif that stupid camera of mine.. e photos taken out was BLUR n that really affect me alot.. cox when i see e demo those sales personnel gave me wasnt wat i am experiencing now..

i am going down to the shop n ask em abt it on sun.. hope they will gif me a really gd explanation.. if not i will sure ask for a refund from em.. suddenly feel so cheated... argh~~~~~

my mood today was damn affected by the camera of mine lo.. feel so down n upset.. wanna upload those photos i took wif my SIM gang yest one but looking at e blurness of e photo really turn me off completely..

e next few days will be damn busy for me.. gonna work on both e weekends.. on mon, gonna go down to kelly services to fill up e application forms den haf my tuition in e afternoon... n in e evening, gonna prepare to take e bus to Genting liao....

hope e work tml will help take my mind off e camera stuff for a while.. how sia.. i am really damn upset for not getting e Canon Ixus camera instead..... argh~~~~~~~

jux came back from JB jux now.. went there to book for our tour 2 Genting next wk.. it is cheaper to book e tour n much more convenient for us to take e bus there cox its jux a causeway away from us..

we had a very sumptous meal @ Secret Recipe.. e food there was gd, esp the chicken wif e cheese.. ( i forgot the name of e dish le.. ) haha.. i din haf my favourite Classic cheesecake there cox we were all damn full aft finishing our main course..

i only bought a pair of shoes there.. it was really cheap... haha...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
yest i went to Orchard wif Teck.. actually i wanted to go to Sim Lim n check out my camera one, but he is not interested in going wif me.. so we went to Orchard instead..

i forgot to bring my Best Denki voucher there.. or else i can get my blackhead remover yest le..

we shop ard Orchard n went to the supermarket to shop too.. i jux realise how much new n special stuff u can find inside a supermarket.. i bought a instant miso soup mix due to my sudden craving n liking for strong taste food recently..

i oso bought a new mask @ Heeren.. recently, i am obsess abt skincare stuff esp mask.. nowadays, i will normally use a mask ard 3 times a wk.. that is y i muz try out new mask n stock em up during this GSS...

we went to watch X-Men aft all the shopping.. e movie only lasted less den 2 hrs.. much shorter den i expected.. i still prefer e previous one..


the stuff i bought these 2 days...

jux woke up not long ago.. haven been slping until so shiok for e past few days.. e PC roadshow had finally come to an end & i had lost my voice.. had to cancel my tuition wif my kids tis morning..

but i really enjoy working wif e ppl esp my 'boss'.. he is such a nice superior & very caring towards his 'subordinate' ( who is me ) haha..

yest was quite a hectic day lo.. mayb its e last day of e PC show den everyone wan to grab cheap bargain.. sales yest was so-so only but i really tried my best liao.. u can 'hear' it from my sexy, husky voice.. hehe..

the whole thing ends @ 8 plus.. i wanted to go to e SONY booth to look at my T-5 one but in e end i gif up e tots.. by e time i go there, thk they had cleared everything liao.. mayb e they dun even haf e stocks anymore lo..

managed to take some photos @ e booth..




aft everything, we walked to bugis & have our dinner @..... ( i forgot the name of e restaurant liao ) haha.. but the food there is gd... lawrence paid for my meal again tis time cox he say its to 'jiang li' us one... feel very pai seh, cox for e past couple of days, he had been giving me treats & buying me drks.. really wanna thx him.. hehe...

feeling very tired n my throat is not feeling well now..

been working for e past 2 days.. today i worked at Specialist Centre.. the sales was gd n the thing is we can keep the aps there.. but really thk i din drk enuff water for e past 2 days.. now i am scare i will not be able to tok tml lo.. I NEED STH TO SOOTHE MT THROAT!!!!

tml will be my last day of water @ the PC show.. will be bringing my camera along.. hope anna will be working there oso den we can eat together liao.. for e past couple of days, we were like playing hide n seek, not working in e same place n meeting each other..

i really need a gd rest.. been slogging like siao these days, need to relac n go shopping.. my 1st priority will be e SONY T-5.. but duno wanna get it from where lei.. tml is e last day of e PC show liao, den i still dun haf e time to go check out the price @ Harvey Norman & Sim Lim.. really duno wanna get it @ e IT show or not.. argh~~~~

am feeling super tired now.. partly due to not enuff slp n oso b'cox of the PC roadshow thing..

yest was my 1st day of work n 1st time selling credit card at a roadshow.. it was quite fun but when i 1st started, it was really very scary.. cox the crowd look so unapproachable & it had been a long time since i need to approach e crowd 2 do sales..

but aft a few failed attempt, i finally gt the hand of it.. i feel that the environment is beta den i worked @ the skincare counter last time.. that was really a damn aggressive n bitchy environment lo.. haha..

althought tis job is quite fun, i still envy those ppl who are selling cameras @ the PC show.. cox frankly speaking, i prefer n like to see cameras more.. haha..

today i will be going to work again.. it is a last min thing.. hope i can tahan thru tis 4 days.. thk when i come back home tonight, i will be damn damn shag..

today's my sis b'day.. we are going to haf a mini celebration @ Vienna.. it has been our routine to celeb her b'day there.. but tis time round, we were quite disappointed wif their service & dishes.. its not as gd & nice anymore.. on top of that, one of the waitress is DAMN rude.. from now on, i am going to boycott that restaurant.. but den i still took alot of pics n videos there..



b4 the dinner, we went to Orchard to shop.. as usual the suayness of mine continue today.. most of the things that i wanna buy is out of stocks.. & i duno y i kept meeting those rude sales personnel today.. is tis whole suayness & rude thing gonna continue thruout my whole GSS & hols?? if that's the case den i........ argh~~~ its damn fustrating la.. but i still bought 2 stuffs today....

den i am quite upset by one thing oso.. i went down to e job agency 4 a roadshow job but was told that all e vacancy had been filled up when i reached there... felt that i had wasted my trip & there goes my chance of earning the extra cash that i needed badly..

but things turned 4 e beta when e roadshow IC called me & told me there had been a misunderstanding b/w the agency & company.. the job is still on & i will be working tis coming weekend..

tis is e 1st time in tis couple of days that i felt things are turning 4 e beta.. haha.. let's hope it will continue thruout my hols..

jux realise that in less den 2 wks, i will be single for a yr le.. thruout tis yr, nth much happen.. i am pretty much e same.. well, mayb i became more mature & know wat i wan & expect in my life.. sometimes when i look back, i found myself to be pretty demanding, naive & childish..

ok... i tried to upload my video but failed.. can anyone tell me how do i go abt it??

haven been feeling so relax for a long long time.. no need to rush to e lib n study nor wake up early to go to sch.. how wonderful it is.. haha..

i went for my tuition @ 1130 n aft that went to meet my mum @CWP.. we shop ard n guess wat.. i bought a pair of shoe aft so many mths of 'shoe quest'.. it was 'love at 1st sight'.. haha.. i knew i muz get it or else i will regret... thus i bought it even though its a little painful at e front.. hehe.. i oso bought a new sunblock cox e current one i am using is a little too white..


my new shoe & sunblock~~

aft the shopping.. i still felt quite upset cox e kose skincare set that i wanna buy had gone out of stock.. & rem the Converse bag, i cant even find it @ CWP branch.. thk this time round really whole S'pore gone out of stock liao.. argh~~~

we eat @ Pizza Hut b4 coming back home.. tml will be another shopping day 4 me.. e battle ground tml will be our shopping heaven -- Orchard road.. let's hope tml i will not be suay anymore.. haha..

went to shu's place yest for movie marathon.. as usual, some of us were knocked out halfway.. we watched 3 shows in total, but for me i only watch 2 cox i watched e 3rd show b4 le..
we watched e show in e following order..

1. not another teen movie
2. battle royal ( really duno wat its toking abt )
3. butterfly effect

as usual, we left shu's place b4 sunrise.. but tis time round, we din went straight home.. instead we went to mac to haf breakfast cox all of us were damn damn hungry.. haha.. and its not a bad thing to slp rite aft a sumptous breakfast.. hee..

i took a train back n went straight to bed aft i bath.. woke up at 12 plus cox later meeting Teck.. i wanna go check out e GSS n e Health & Beauty Fair at Suntec.. he meet me at wlds stn n we went to Raffles City to check out e new MarketPlace.. there is a exhibition of Lego too..


the FIFA world cup is the hottest thing now other than GSS.. even the Lego is into it now..

we went to e Beauty Fair aft that.. it was not as i expected it to be.. it looks more like a Chinese Medicine fair den a beauty fair.. but i met cheng leng there, she was hosting for Adonis there.. it had been mths since i last saw her at Li's b'day party.. she is still as pretty.. haha..



we had our dinner at Sizzlers.. had been craving for it since last wk.. hehe.. as usual, i keep taking e soup.. i really love their clam chowder n mushroom soup.. yummy yummy.. i had swiss grilled chicken while he had spicy chicken..


our 1st round & 2nd round wif main dish.. actually there are a few more round aft this.. hee..
i took tis w/o him noticing.. dun get it wrong, he is not praying.. haha


aft the dinner, we went to shop ard.. i wanna get e Converse World Cup ( netherland ) pvc bag.. but its out of stock already.. why isit always happening.. argh~~ the other time is e jacket, den now is e bag.. why i am always so suay..

we went to marina square in hope the Converse shop there still haf e bag.. but when we reached there, we realised that the shop is gone.. no more Converse shop @ marina anymore.. thk i am really cursed... haiz.. but the happy thing is there is a Australia roadshow @ marina.. the decoration is really nice..

esp e hot air balloon.. i am really fascinated by it.. haha..

we went to world of sports n i realised there's so much things i wanna get.. but i am damn broke now lo.. argh.. i need a job badly now..

yeah~~ i finally survive thru my tedious n tiring exam.. haha.. e air is filled wif freedom now.. i can do watever i wan n like.. wat excite me e most is the GSS.. haha.. i am going to shop till i DROP~~

tis morning i went for my 1st facial.. wah.. the extraction session was really a torture but i really love e mask n its really relaxing.. wanted to post e B4 and After photo one but dun wan to scare u guys.. haha

really sorry for e delay in e uploading of my JJ talentime photos.. been busy preparing for my pbf for e past wk.. hehe..


ha.. tis is my beloved mum.. thk its the 1st time she came to support me during my comp..
really very happy she came.. hee..


tis is Mr Tan, the teacher who asked me back for e comp.. really happy he asked me back.. haha..


my JJC teachers & classmates..


they are my SIM buddies.. they came to support me specially even though we still haf another paper next wk.. haha.. thx guys..

lastly, let me show u how 'zi lian' n how obsess i am wif my trophy.. haha.. thk u will wan to beat me up aft seeing the photos..


but i am really happy to be able to go back n once again, experienced the feeling of being in a comp.. although in SIM i join the talentime oso.. but the feeling is alot more diff.. mayb i am really attached n like my JC more.. haha.. still thk my JC days was the best time of my life..

jux reached home at 1 from e JJC talentime at NTU auditorium... am really excited abt it.. i really din regret joining the comp as an ex-jjcian.. it reminds me of my jc days n i can feel e vibe in me once again..

it was really fun n it had been so long since i last felt tis way.. e only thing i regret is i din take gd care of my throat these days.. that's y i can only play safe n sing w/o the high notes today.. quite upset because i cant hit e high notes during rehearsal this afternoon.. thus haf to make e decision of not singing n skipping it at e last min..

tis might be e last time i am joining such a singing comp again liao.. that is y i really treasure it n wanted to write down how i am feeling down even though i am damn tired now.. i scare if i write tml den i will forget how i am feeling liao..

am really grateful to mr joseph tan for asking me back tis time for such a big event.. i haven had so much fun for a very long time le.. e last talentime i had in jj was like 3 yrs back.. this time when i go back, i felt that i am really old liao.. haha.. wif all e juniors ard me feeling so energetic, i felt age is really catching up on me.. wahaha.. i gonna update my photos soon.. wanna set up another webbie den can post photos but guess it will take a very long time so decide to write here now 1st.. den tml create one.. haha.. going to slp liao.. really very tired now....

woohoo.. haha.. today was was my last 2nd paper.. in another 8 more days i will be free.......... ( i believe i can fly.... i believe i can touch e sky..... )

had been under alot of stressed tis days.. or should i say e stress had been building up for a few mths le.. suddenly felt very relieved n very 'eng' now.. thk aft my exam i will feel very free as compared to now..

wanna change my blog skin to a simple one but den i still like this blogskin lei.. haiz.. wat should i do??

doing my last min revision now.. in another 2 hrs time i will be on my way to expo for my long awaited poa exam.. aft today i will feel more relac cox one of e major subject is cleared.. e next big one n e most fearful one will be econs.. which is on next mon.. u cant imagine how straining n scary UOL econs is.. e passing rate is slightly more den 50% only.. argh~~ can only pray hard that i am one of e 50% passing.. haha..

okok.. gonna go back to my revision liao.. will update u guys abt my battle wif poa paper later.. haha..

another 2 more days to my POA test, 3 more to e rehearsal for talentime @ NTU & 4 more to my Maths 1 test.. and the thing is i am SICK.. it had been a very long time since i last fall sick.. i hate falling sick, esp during my exam period.. it is so pek cek n inefficient cox i cant study much.. i needa alot of rest but at tis period, resting seems so out of place..

i jux hope that i can survive thru this 'ordeal'.. let me be well or at least beta by tue.. i dun wan this thing to affect my performance..

jux changed my blog song.. alot of feelings came back to me tis couple of days.. when i heard this song, this made me tot of him.. i mux really wake up from a dream that i should haf woken up from long time ago..........

had been having UOL revision lect for 2 consecutive days.. yes its 2 consecutive days n the worse thing is there are 3 more to come in e next 4 days.. can u imagine how drainin it is.. esp when u dun understand wat the lecturers are toking abt... it really add on to e stress that had been building up for e past mth lo.. argh~~~ when is all tis going to end?????

tml gonna haf my maths revision class again.. jux realised that i haf forgotten all e mths n formulas liao.. gonna memorise n try e paper n e examiner's report soon.. i really have short term memory lo.. cant rem things for long..

e only thing that motivates me tml is e gathering that i will be having wif my JC gang at timah market.. but b4 that, gonna go billy's house to sing ktv 1st.. its really time to relac abit liao.. my shoulder n neck is really killing me now.. i need a massage soon..........

i am feeling so listless today.. i am feeling all e stress now.. esp when my exam is jux less den a mth from now.. i cant seem to understand wat i am studying.. i tot i had known everything but aft doing the papers, i know that is not e case.. i feel that all the time i spent studying for e past mth is useless...

is there is potion tat will improve my understanding?? if there is any, plz get it for me.. i need it badly lo..

stress seem so never ending..

hey guys.. i will be updating my blog here from now on..

it's my mum b'day today.. but i gonna go for e exhibition job briefing so cant acc her the whole day..

went to cityhall & meet peifen for lunch.. aft that den we went down to Suntec n meet Leon.. the booth is quite small as compared to the one at expo last yr.. but cant help it oso cox tis exhibition they are not e main exhibitor.. one thing is the pay is definitely beta den the previous one.. hehe..

we had a briefing by em at the cafe.. it was quite fun as usual n the staff can still recognise us..

woohoo~~~ finally ended my mock yest.. felt so relief.. esp when i can do my pbf paper wif only 3 days of intensive study at e lib wif wilson n billy ( my study gang ).. mus really thx em for teaching me n answering my stupid cum simple qns.. sometimes i oso cant stand myself for asking that qns oso lo.. haha..

went out wif my my dearest mum for sushi yest.. had been 'abandoning' for a couple of days due to my studying schedule.. its time to spend sometime wif her b4 i am going into the hectic study thing again..

as for today, i went to orchard wif her n my sis.. my bro went to camp liao so only left wif e 3 pretty 'babe' of our family.. haha.. wanna get alot of things to pamper myself today but den i realise how broke i am now lo.. had been spending quite alot on food these days while studying at e lib.. there goes my pampering session..

i am lookin forward to my working session next wk at e natas travel fair.. at least can earn some money n donate it into my piggy bank.. haha.. it had been hungry duno since when le.. haha..

had my econs mock test today.. it was really a disaster lo.. i forgot all those market structure thing that i had been studying for more den a mth the moment i look at e paper lo.. wat thing can be worse den tis... feel really demoralised when i walk out of e hall aft trying for more den 1.5 hrs.. ( the paper was 3 hrs )

went to study for stats while waiting for wilson n billy.. they finished e full 3 hr paper.. had lunch at mega bites den we drove back to wlds n study at e lib.. i studied until 6 n came home le.. coz today is my dad's b'day.. gonna haf dinner wif the whole family later.. now am waiting for em to prepare.. hehe..

muz burn midnight oil tonight le.. cox while revising for stats jux now, i realise i forget most of the things n formulas le.. haiz.. y i do not haf a photograhic memory lei..

went to ah li's 21st b'day chalet @ the PA holiday flat near pasir ris park.. had a hard time finding e place n a parking lot there lo.. luckily, i am not a road idiot n din get lost wif ah ma.. haha.. e place is really cosy n nice.. would love to haf our jc gathering there soon lo.. hehe..

had a lot of fun catching up wif my jc frenz n tok cock wif em.. haha.. there will always be laughter n jokes whenever they are ard lo.. hehe.. hope we can alot of gathering soon.. but everyone is like busy preparing for their exam at tis moment.. haiz..

wanna upload those photos here one but thk tis blog skin is really not appropriate for me to do that wif e settings lo.. gonna change e skin soon.. so wait for me k???

wanna send ah ma back one but den sth happened.. i went off at 12 wif andy, jackson n guan wen.. drove em back to panjang there cos i am meeting him for supper.. we actually had a small misunderstanding over e fone.. its abt small very small stuff again la..

i drive home alone ard 2 plus aft having supper wif andy & him at yew tee.. was feeling damn tired lo.. really scare will jux doze off half way driving.. luckily i managed to make it back but am having a terrible headache lo.. went to bed straight aft i finish bathing..

doing my maths qns now.. another 4 days to my mock exam but i am not prepared at all.. wat i haf revised is not even half of e syllabus lo.. haiz.. e worse thing is i am not even gan jiong abt e exam at all.. how can anything be worse den that rite..

quite a couple of things had happened within e wk.. i am still trying to adjust to those news..

i received a call its from e clinic tis afternoon.. its abt e medical report of my mum.. though e nurse din really tell me wat is e pro but from her tone n stuff, i know things are not that simple.. it mux be sth bad but i duno wat it might be.. i dun really dare to tell my mum abt e nurse's tone n that it might be sth serious coz i dun wan her to be worrying e whole nite lo.. so i jux told her e doc jux wanna discuss sth wif her.. i am feeling quite bad now.. really duno wat the doc will say tml.. the thought of sth bad really chills me..

went out wif him again n jux reached home less den an hr ago.. wanted to watch final dest 3 but there were no more tics.. in e end, we went to eat Sizzlers at Suntec City..

haf been meeting him for 3 or 4 consecutive wks already.. it had been like those times b4 we broke up.. he can be really nice n swt at times.. but he can be insensitive n uncaring too..

jux know from him today that he had actually came n read at my blog twice when his fren told him abt my entries.. previously, he told me that he din come n read at all.. so when i knew abt it today, i finally know why andy tells me that actually the guys know wat we gers are doing n they will feel sad abt it..

i feel that tis blog is where i can express my emotions n where i can let out my fustration.. because other than here i duno who or where can i express my emotions n feelings to.. i will jux write how i feel at that moment of time.. it mayb be in a fit of anger or it mayb anything.. i know tat sometimes wat i say might hurt HIM but i really dun haf e intention of doing so.. i jux wan to be truthful when i write my entry.. on e other hand, i dun wan him to feel sorry n pity me abt wat i went thru during the 1st few mth aft we broke up lo.. that is y i feel quite upset when i know that he did read some of my entries today..

i really hope that he meant it when he say he had forgottten my blog add.. cox i really dun wan him to come n read at tis blog again..

been trying 4 a few days to update my collection of photos up here.. but as u can see here.. i din succeed.. haha.. been very confused abt how to resize it to e actual size i wan.. do until wanna puke blood liao..

drove to sch today 2 meet Gan n e others.. study there for abt 3 ~4 hrs.. well, e progress is definitely beta den i am at home.. at least i wont be tempted by my bed n tv there.. thk muz really go there often to study.. haha.. but i wont get to drive soon coz my dad is going to drive his car to e apartment carpark in town soon.. haiz..

haven really get into e momentum to study yet.. hope the momentum is on the way now.. i am waiting for you~~ haha.. asked me out k? i feel so sian staying at home e whole day to study.. i miss clubbing..

i had so much to write.. there is a special blog on my b'day.. haha.. cause there are so much things for me to upload n write.. so plz go to this webbie..... hehe..

http://yamz21stbirthday.blogspot.com/

today is my 21st b'day but early in e morning i still haf to go for my last POA lect in sch.. wanted to borrow my dad's car today n bring my mum to oasis n treat her to Thai Village during lunch time one but den my dad said he needs to use the car today lo.. argh~~ ppl dun wan to use car he oso dun wan, when i need liao den he wans to use it lo..

in e end i went to JP to meet my aunt cox she said wanna get me my b'day present from there.. i met my mum on my way at bukit batok stn n went there together.. we had our lunch 1st den went walking ard.. den we passed by a manicure shop n they jux went in to haf a pedicure treat.. leaving me there watching em enjoy themselves.. ( i cant do e pedicure cox of my 1st toe nail.. ) i waited for more den an hr for em lo.. duno today is their b'day or mine lo.. haha..

aft that, we finally go get my present liao.. i chose a diamond bracelet for my b'day.. hehe.. it was a present by my aunties, uncles n some cousin.. really wanna thx em for e present lo..

frankly speaking, i really dun feel anything abt being 21 now lo.. to some extent, i dun feel that today is my b'day.. until some fren msg me to wish me happy b'day.. i am really touched by those who send me e msg.. (u know who u are lo.. ) thx for being such a sweetie n nice fren.. *muackz* i love u guys..

another 2 days more to my 21st b'day.. i am feeling indifferent towards it.. should i be feeling that way?? is all e others feeling e same way like i do now when their 21st b'day is approaching or am i e odd one.... well, to me at tis moment, that day will jux be like another day where i will spend it in loneliness......

ever since i broke up wif him, i always haf tis feeling tat a part of me is missing.. n tis feeling is becoming stronger n stronger as e time passes by... that feeling is really unbearable lo.. sometimes in e middle of e nite or b4 i fell aslp, i will thk of e times we were together n den tears will fall down from my face once again..

i know it had been quite long since we broke up le.. i shouldnt be grieving over it anymore.. but whenever i thk that sth i once had will no longer be mine anymore i will feel...... i cant really explain it in words.. my heart will feel really pain......

someone say tis : "once u broke up wif e other party, the best way to forget em n carry on wif ur life is to get em out of ur life completely" i do agree wif this statement but carrying it out is another thing.. its always easier said den done.. for me, i really cant do it..

met him yest 4 my b'day celeb.. i was really surprised when i saw him holding onto a 'adidas' paper bag when he met me at YCK stn.. he had bought me sth that i haf been wanting for very long le.. its a 'adidas' jacket.. i am really touched by him cox he is really observant tis time round.. tis is e thing that i haf never experienced b4 when we were together.. i should say that it is really a pleasant surprise.. cox i never ever thk that i will receive his b'day present so soon.. am really really touched la..

but one thing is, anna they oso bought me e adidas jacket.. so now i haf 2 jackets for my b'day.. hehe.. well, its 2 diff design so i thk its alrite ba.. so ppl dun buy me anymore jacket liao.. i haf more den enuff le.. wahaha..

jux like any other day, we went to watch a movie den go haf our dinner.. aft a while he jux went back to camp while i went to my grandma place to bai bai... we stayed at my grandma house until 12 plus b4 going home n slp.. it was really tiring sia..

jux came back from a movie session wif my family at CWP.. it has been yrs since we last saw a movie together le.. thought tis time round, i only watched wif my mum n sis, while my dad n bro watched another show, its still consider as a family outing ba.. haha..

watched 'I Am Not Stupid Too'.. thk alot of teens will feel e same way as me aft they watched the show.. our parents are all like that.. they are more stingy wif complements n praises of us when we grow older.. they will tend to look more abt our bad pts den gd pts.. the last thing which i raise both hands to agree one is..... they will not let u haf any chance to do any explanation cox whenever u wan to explain they will jux continue their scolding or jux ask u to shut up..

that is why whenever my dad started nagging i will jux keep my mouth shut w/o making any effort to explain anymore.. coz from past experience it will jux make things worse so its beta to shut up n 'listen'.. explaining to an elder who always thk they are right is a waste of time n a tiring thing..

b4 e movie, we went to Courts n shop there for 2 hours.. cox my dad wanna change his furniture n buy a new set of surround system n tv..... in e end, we bought a new tv n a surround system.. haha.. looking forward to e 'theatre-like' experience in my house soon.. wahaha...

haiz.. he told me today that he cant celeb my b'day for me tis sat liao.. quite disappointed cox b4 i left 4 KL he told me he might be able to celeb for me on sat.. haiz.. well, wat to do... i cant expect anything from him oso.. thk tis yr no one will be celeb my b'day for me on e actual day liao.. haiz~~~~~~

i am back~~~ jux came back from my once a yr 'New Yr KL trip' tis afternoon.. its always as boring as ever... the only thing that cheers me up is the shopping trip.. but tis time round i din buy alot of clothes oso..

1st day :
reached there b4 8 am.. my dad drove damn fast n it took us less den 3 hrs to reach there.. e moment we reached e hotel, me n my mum quickly rushed off to e shopping centre le.. time is money u know.. haha.. esp when most shop wont be open 4 e next few days.. at nite, we went out for dinner wif my relatives there..

haiz.. chi new yr is over... e next big thing will be my 21st b'day liao.. cannot imagine that i am turning 21 in less than 2 wks.. will anything changed aft that??? well, mayb my thking n my perspective of life will change.. haiz.. damn scare to thk abt it la...

heard a very saddening news today.. its abt my aunt one, she needs to go thru a operation n it will be really hard for her to go thru that.. both emotionally n physically.. felt really pity towards her but i cant do anything at all to help her.. the only thing i can do is acc her to go shopping today..

rite aft sch, i went to orchard to meet her n my mum.. we tried to keep her company so that she wont thk so much n she is behaving very normally jux like any other shopping trip.. but deep inside we know that she is jux puttin on a brave front lo.. at times when we return from e washroom trip, we can see her sitting there n staring into e space.. seeing her like tis really pains me alot lo..

it once again let me see that how fragile we are n how we always take things for granted.. only when sth happened den we will treasure wat we always had but din take a moment to realise its importance.. really feeling very sad now lo..

went to e Lib n study today.. finally i studied for >4 hrs.. its such an achievements for me lo.. esp it had been so long since i last did intensive studying like this.. but i nearly got tempted by my mum wif her shopping trip at Bugis wif my aunt.. haha..

i met HIM today n acc him to see the Chi Sin Sei cox he sprained his ankle during a ball game last wk.. i studied until 4 plus n went to meet him at CWP.. aft having our dinner there n haf a short window shopping time, we went to e clinic.. its actually very near to my place..

haiz.. very vexed now.. still thking abt my bday chalet thing.. duno wan to haf ladies nite or not.. feel like asking those jc guys along too.. thk it will be more fun lo.. argh~~~ any suggestions ???

realise that i haven been updating my blog for a very long time.. esp for dec one.. there is only a few entries.. haha.. thk i muz come more often to update le.. 1 gd pt abt writing blog is when u look back at wat u haf wrote previous, u will sometimes fine urself very stupid to be bothered by such tinny- winny stuff that u thk it SO BIG at that moment..

i really cant stand myself these days la.. been very restless n listless.. wats happening to me?? isit the symptom of me growing old!! well, i thk so lo.. ever since i step into this no. 2 world, i haf been feeling very sian n tired abt going out n staying out late... i dun haf e vibrant anymore..

mock exam is in another 6 wks time but i can tell u i haven even read thru 1/4 of my notes.. thk i will sure flunk for my mock.. dun really haf e feelings n mood to study at all.. nth to motivate me.. tml i am going to e Lib n really study intensively.. hope i can at least pick up some pace n find some motivation...

been racking my brain for a theme for my 21st bday party.. finally decide on one that is easier to achieve one.. haha.. BEACH WEAR.. its more suitable oso la.. since rite in front of my chalet is a small pool.. so everyone can jux go for a dip if they feel warm.. haha.. but frankly speaking i still prefer e SLP WEAR one.. haha.. well, shall wait for another occasion to organise that ba.. hehe...

yest was helping my mm making loveletter so forsake my studying schedule.. today i am trying to make it back but well, it only lasted 2hrs?? haha..

tis couple of days, the weather is really grey n sad.. well, it is jux the exact thing i am feeling rite now.. i haf been having tis feelings, ever since tat day, HIS attitude towards me changed.. and i got this feeling once again, i am at his mercy once more.. his action n words will haf a directly effect on my mood n feelings.. frankly speaking i hate that, i hate to be out of control again.. that is why i am trying to put an end to tis.......

now, i mux conc on my studies n revision.. i cant let history repeat itself.. i dun wan to flunk like how i did in JC.. i duno whether i should blame him partly for my failure, mayb i should even blame n hate myself for being so easily influenced..

thk i muz really re-organise my feelings n mood to welcome the Chi New Yr.. n my dreadful MOCK exam in march..

wow.. realised i had been abandoning tis blog for more den 10 days.. haha.. been really lazy to come online & i really duno should i write wat had been happening in my life for e past 10 days here or not.. in e end i thk i should let em stay inside my mind cox it is e safest place to keep em..

chinese new yr is jux 3 wks from now.. time really passes by very quickly w/o u realising.. i still rem last yr how i went to the Chinatown New Yr bazaar wif HIM n it seems like yest.. i oso din realise that we had broke up for more den 7 mths le.. sometimes the sad feelings will still haunt me whenever i thk of the times we were together.. i will still feel sad, disappointment n ke xi..

well, time is really a very scary thing.. esp at tis period of my life.. i feel scared when i know that chi new yr is coming n it is coming so soon.. last time i will be very excited abt it but now, i feel scared..
in another 5 wks, i will be turning 21.. well, it means i will n muz be more responsible n take on more responsibility.. i still cant believe that i am going to be 21 soon lo.. i felt like i am still in my teens n behave like one oso.. haiz.. jux when will i behave n become a grown up??