argh~~

ya.. that's wat i am feeling now.. argh~~

why is everything becoming so real now.. super jia lat lei.. i hate to go thk of it but i muz lo.. i hate to go n thk abt e possiblity of getting hurt again but den.... i muz.. no matter wat, there will be a chance of me getting hurt if i become serious again.. i am so scare lo.. i really duno wat to do now.. i wan to be serious but e feeling of getting hurt is really too much for me to bear again.. i dun wan to cry every nite like how i used to lo.. wat should i do now.. can anyone enlighten me??

e past r/s really makes me very afraid of getting into one again.. e feeling of crying every nite is still so vivid lo.. n e wound..... haiz.. its so painful... even now, my heart can feel e pain n impact of it.. wif my current situation i really cant take another blow.. or else i am afraid i will not be able to get up again lo.. i really hope he can be e one who will heal my wound n make me forget abt e past but on e other hand, i am being haunted by e past experience.. haiz.. jux wat i wan sia... e only thing i know now is, i am really feeling very vulnerable..