am really on e verge of breaking down for e past few days.. esp tis morning, i really cant take it anymore n started crying... even haf the tot of leaving home or ending my life jux like that.. thking it might be e only way that the problem at home will be solved.. how i wish that today is fri, den i can go out n leave tis place..

i hate being the middleperson in tis matter.. i know tis all happened because of me, i am the start of everything..... thus, it might be gd that i end it since i started it... things nearly gt worse jux now... at that pt, i really feel like taking my stuff n leave my home for gd... not telling em where i am going for e next few days, hoping that it will make em get together n forget abt tis matter.....

finally they had a gd tok... toking calmly n peacefully wif one another.. i realised that how bad i am n how childish i haf been.. i am really not a gd daughter.. my parents are really concern abt me n they care alot for me.. esp my mum, she had been giving all her love to me but i really disappointed her completely tis time round.... felt really useless n guilty.. how bad can i get?? i am a failure, a complete failure.... i nearly caused the family that my parents having been building for e past 20 yrs apart wif my own hand..... i felt really really bad now....... i haf been so selfish, not understanding their intention n even misread wat they are doing to me.... thk i muz be really blind....

even though now everything is ok now, i still feel.................. i duno wat to say.. i cant forgive myself... i cant believe the stupid things i did nearly caused our family to break up.. the family where my dad n mum have put in alot of effort to build n kp em together.. i cant believe i nearly break it... wat kind of daughter am i?? i am really really sorry towards em n my siblings.. i am not a gd daughter n sis.. i din show em any concern n love.. i never really contribute anything to the family.. thk they might be beta off w/o me.....