went to fish at sembawang jetty wif em aft work again.. we went to haf our dinner at chongpang nasi lemak there b4 jeremy fetch me down to lawrence's place & wait for em to come..

only manage to go there ard 11 plus.. its high tide yest n they said it was supposedly to be a gd day for fishing but we waited until 12 plus also gt nth la.. in e end, lawrence gt bored & we drove jeremy's car out to get drks.. decided to go n find kenny who is singing ktv at safra wif his frenz.. met him & went to haf tow huay aft sending his frenz back..

aft the supper, we went to cheers to get drks for em & went back there to find em.. the road in there is super muddy.. make me damn pek cek & i cant see clearly w/o my glasses & haf to hold onto em.. if not i will sure fall down.. stayed wif em until 2 plus.. sth happened to jeremy's car on e way out.. i was at kenny's car so we din realise wat happened until we reach lawrence's place.... i can only say the lighting there is e main culprit ba...

jeremy sent me back home aft tat as usual.. & i gt knocked out the moment i finished bathing... woke up early tis morning.. luckily i had my share of slp for the past couple of days.. at least today can still 'tong' abit..

it has been a yr.. a yr since i know him.. actually yest is the actual day but i jux dun haf the mood to come n blog.. i know if i do so, i will feel down once again.. within tis yr, alot of things has happened.. can it considered alot?? well, it seems like.... but wat abt achievements?? duno lei..

for the past few days, i kp on thking abt how we 2 started? how we contact back each other aft the incident... 3 mths time which is equivalent to a quarter of a yr.. tat's when everything started... looking at the duration, it seems very long rite.. yeah, it sure us but everytime when i thk it, it seems like it jux happened yest.. the memories are still quite vivid to me... although most of the time i will say tat it seems like a dream to me..

well, mayb at tis pt of time i still cant believe tat he actually reciprocate my feelings ba.... it sure is very unbelievable on my side.. cause all along, i knew very clearly tat he only treat me as a 'xiao mei mei'.. he make his pt very clear already.... on e other hand, i also know my stand.. i am not a very outstanding gal... standing in e crowd, i dun thk anyone will actually take notice of me.. i am jux like any normal gal on the street... is tis known as low self-esteem?? ha....

wat exactly am i feeling towards him now?? tat's one qns i cant find an answer to once again... at times will still feel emo when i listen to those songs & thk abt us... are all human beings like tat?? they like to be tortured... isit because tat's e only way to make em feel their existence?? but why mine will actually makes me tot i am living in a dream sometimes?? haha..

thk i am going a bit bonkers le.. kp on blogging those stuffs & repeating it.. erm.. well, thk i am still going in circle ba.. tat's why i kp on repeating those stuffs tat i haf said b4.. still in e midst of sorting out everything.. thk time is still the best healer in e world.. shall see how much time i need ba.. next time when u guys see me stop blogging abt all tis den u will know tat i haf walked out of the circle already.... so meanwhile, jux bear wif me 1st ba......

realise i haven been eating out wif my frenz tis days.. i miss SizzleRs.. i miss cartel.. i miss my nydc brownies.... i miss my yum cha buffet..... i miss alot of food lo.... argh~~ quick quick ask me out for dinner guys.... haha...

complexion getting from bad to worse.. figure is getting plumper by the day also.. everything is not going the way i wan it to be.. even my feelings n everything i do is also the same....

realise how cock up my life is for e past mths.. not going home until its past 1 am in e morning.. e moment i reach home, i will n den slp.. next morning wake up at 8 plus again to go to work n e cycle continue.. it has been like tis for more den a mth.. den during weekend, need to work n go for tuition.. haven been slping for more den 9 hours for like almost a mth....

really wonder why am i torturing myself & pushing myself so hard... actually i do know e reason y also... its jux tat i dun wan to admit n go n thk abt it only.. i am trying to run away but from wat is happening to me now, i dun thk it helps at all.... in fact, its making things worse only.. running away from problem is a really stupid thing & i know it very clearly.. it will not solve the problem at all, it only help u to make the problem 'disappear' temporarily.. at e end, of the day it will still be there.. no matter how u pretend or convince urself, u are jux lying only... but facing the problem needs a lot of courage & determination.... tat's wat lacking in me.... wat can i do to make myself to be determined?? can it be 'cultivated' or it mux be in born??

it has been almost a yr... time really flies & tat's all i can say... in another 1 mths time i will be starting my sch term.... duno wat to anticipate tis time round... now, other den wanting to be determined & earning alot of money, i dun expect anything in my life le..... expectation will only make one more unhappy & disappointed... only when u haf no expectation den u will not feel disappointed.. as easy as it seems to be said out by me, i wonder will i be able to do it myself... if i really can do tat, i thk i can go be a nun already.. its ironic rite.. yeah, its is & tat's wat life is all abt.....

chance upon an article yest.. its writing abt woman being 'cheap'... dun get me wrong, its not tat kind of cheap tat u guys thk abt.. the 'cheap' refers to woman putting down their self-esteem & pride for e guy they love.. when a woman fall in love wif a guy, she is willing to do anything for him.. yes, anything.... she will wan to do a lot of things for the guy.. cook for him, wait for him at home, care for him, beg him... even when the guy dun love em anymore, they will still try their best to make em stay & win back their heart... beg, cry, seduce or anthing....... tat's how 'cheap' a woman can be..... cheap in e eyes of the guy whom they love..... but when they realise tat things cannot be changed anymore, they will jux wake up their idea... well, tis will only happen aft they got hurt deeply... its only at tis pt of time tat they 'learnt'.... ha.... should the word learn be used here?? i duno.. cause some gals jux wont learn at all.. when they fall for a guy again, the vicious cycle will still continue.....

no matter how arrogant & aloof a woman may seem to be, they will haf their 'cheap' side.. tat's when they start falling for a guy... sounds really sad rite?? but tat's really the case... woman, they are more sentimental den guys.. using their heart most of the time & letting it rule em den using their brain.... as for guys, alot will say they are rational... haha.. well, most of my guy say their 'raionality' comes from their lower body instead.... some intellectual one will use their brain to thk also but very little will use their heart..... tat's the diff b/w our fellow male & female species...

on my side, i truly agree wat the article says.... no matter how strong & arrrogant a woman may seem in front of others, when she really fall for a guy, she will change completely to a tame, small little lamb... well, tat only applies to the guy she likes la.... ha... i dun doubt tat there are other woman who behave otherwise, but tat's how most woman behaves.... woman ah woman, why are we so pathetic????

leading a super f*** up life now..

jux reached home.. waiting for hair to dry now.. went out to haf dinner wif em at sembawang aft work today.. lawrence took train wif tony back while i hitch a ride on billy's bike.. 1st time riding on his bike, the back seat is quite high den quite fun.. esp when they are on e expressway, too bad there's heavy traffic at CTE today or else thk it will be damn fun..

went to pick up their fren 1st b4 heading down to sembawang for the seafood bee hoon again... eat until 12 plus b4 going down to mr lawrence place cause he wan billy to go n check out his fishing stuffs.. they going to organise a team fishing outing tis coming sat at duno where la.. thk i gonna be their PA tis coming sat n sit down there doing nth liao.. fishing is not my forte n cup of tea at all... hope they will haf some bbq thingy to kp me occupied...

play cards wif em once again.. super funny la.. den they set some stupid forfeit & in e end jeremy haf to strip.... aft tat, he sent me back home while billy send his frenz back.. tis time round sitting on his bike is not so jia lat as e other time.. at least know where to hold already... not so tiring.. its actually quite fun riding on e bike.. at least the wind n everything can make u forget all the troubles.. & the adrenaline rush... superb... how i wish i can get a bike of my own but i dun thk my parents will allow me to do tat lo... thk female bikers are damn cool... hehe...

damn tired now.. tml gonna haf tuition den fri duno they gt wat prog also.. its the last day for jackson n zhicong le.. duno will there be any farewell party for em or not.. thk i gonna miss the days tat we work together lo.. in another one mths time, mr kenny is going into army le.. haiz... hope the new batch of ppl tat lawrence employ will be as fun n onz as em.......

been very tired tis couple of days.. e moment i reached home i gt knocked out le.. tis wk we gonna work OT until fri den sat might need to come back to work again.. end mth is always like tat one..

mon we went all e way to jurong aft work to meet cust for self-courier.. luckily kenny went home to get his car 1st so the 3 of us, lawrence, me & jeremy are able to go also.. only managed to reach e place aft 10.. by the time we finish the thing is nearly 1030 den we still lost our way there.. we are damn hungry liao lo...

decided to go to sembawang to haf seafood bee hoon.. the food there is really not bad but kenny is having gastric so he cant enjoy the food.. aft the meal we went to 7-11 to get some gastric medicine for him b4 going to eat the tow huay at chong pang.. gt craving for their grass jelly...

sent lawrence home aft tat den i test drive kenny's tuscandi.. its really 'smooth' & 'light'.. haha.. mayb i gt used to driving my dad's car le, duno the accelerator for his car is so sensitive.. its pick up speed is faster den my dad's car lo.. super shiok... but tat nite it was raining so i dun dare to drive too fast also..

as for yest went for self-courier again.. raining once again.. tis days the weather is jux like how i feel.. very gloomy.. duno y for e past 2 days, my mood is quite down, esp in e morning..

alot of memories kps on flashing back.. read thru some of the msgs.. aiya... duno wat to say also la..... jux very pek cek wif myself.... isnt memories supposed to be a gd thing?? but y isit hurting me so much?? the pain is still so vivid.. the memories is so unreal.. is memories supposed to feel tat way?? so unreal & hurtful?? sometimes i will thk n wonder has he forgotten abt everything tat happened a few mths back?? will he still thk abt the times we shared together?? very stupid of me to go n thk abt all tis at tis pt of time rite.. everything is sort of like finalied.. he is getting on his life fairly well w/o me.. w/o me there adding trouble n causing troubles...

listening to the 1st song he gave me.. jux like the lyrics.. i am trying to move forward but i felt tat i am not at all... work is e only thing tat kps me occupied n stop thking abt everything..

falling sick.... haven been slping for more den 10 hours for the past 2 days den go to JB & haf durian wif my family today & caught a cold from yest nite rain.. everything is building up & now thk its going to 'explode' out already...

on fri i went to chinatown again to meet the cust.. den went back to office to do submission.. only manage to leave e office at 8 plus.. went to sembawang there to haf dinner wif lawrence n jeremy cause he say wan to haf chili crab... eat until 10 plus & lawrence fren send us back to his place while i wait for jeremy to come n pick me up... he din bring an extra helmet to work so haf to go back home n take...

in e end, we end up playing cards at lawrence's place until 2 plus aft jeremy came over.. realise i forgot to bring my key when i was leaving.. super cham.. tat's not the worse thing.. haha.. jeremy jux change to a sport bike w/o any support at the back so i haf to hold onto him.. its my 1st time riding on a sport bike & i really duno mux hold onto him tightly so i end up having an aching arms when i reached my place due to trying to support myself.... ha, thk on his side he also feel very uncomfortable ba.. having a rookie pillion behind him...

as for yest, went to work wif lawrence.. took a cab down & was caught in e rain once again.. kp getting drenched tis days & go into air con room.. no wonder will fall sick.. stayed in his office until 5 plus b4 we head to orchard.. wanted to catch 'invincible target' one but the slot are full.. so we ended up walking ard looking for his home theatre system.. aft tat we went to selegie to haf tow huay.. super nap....

went to look for jackson who is at clarke quay at his frenz.. met him & went to eat the hokkaido ice cream.. haha.. thk my whole life is all abt eating tis days.. haha.. no choice ah.. working wif lawrence ma, who loves to eat like me.. hehe.. really love to go to clarke quay tis days.. like the ambience there, esp the nite life.. hope can go to the mahanttan to haf dinner one of this days.. looks quite cool..

we went to live impact & move to geographer aft tat.. actually wanted to go to MOS one but jeremy frenz cant sign us in anymore.. den they are at the VIP area so no pt going in also, even though i am really dying to dance yest.. geographer is really fun & happening.. thk next time gt chance i will bring my mum down there.. haha.. desmond came n join us later in the nite.. we stayed there until 3 plus b4 heading down to mac for supper.... it rained while we were there.. gt caught again.. tis time round, in e nite time somemore... super duper cold lo..

only manage to reach my place ard 4 n slp at 430.... tis morning woke up at 815 cause gt a tuition at 9.. drove there in e end, cause very tired to take bus there & its raining also... came home straight aft tuition, tot i can haf a gd rest n nap but my family say want bring me to JB to haf durian.. so went wif em & gif up my slping time....

its the durian season now, so its really not bad.. but guess i eat too much le cause now not feeling well... went to JUSCO n shop aft tat.. its really big down there but i din buy anything.. not to my liking....

tis morning my mum saw a super duper big bruise on my thigh.. i din realise it until she told me.. i cant rem me bumping into anything lei.. so i was quite shocked when i saw the bruise cause its really BIG.... in fact, it can be categorised as HUGE already.. i really duno when n where i gt tis thing la... looks damn scary.... thk i really very bim lei... gt such a big bruise but dun even know when i gt it lo... thk i am really not gd in taking care of myself.....


look at how big n purplish the bruise is.....

saw his nick today.. felt the impact once again but i duno how to describe wat i am feeling.. 你会好好过?? am i feeling tat way?? seriously i duno also.. nowadays apart from feeling stress & tired there's no other feelings le... is i dun feel anything or i dun wan to feel anything.. i really duno also...

am i happy & having a better life now?? well, if u measure happiness n better life in terms of stress n having no time at all.. den yes, i am very happy rite now... its full of prog, mostly linked wif work.. been going out wif colleague for e past 2 days but most of the time i jux stone there.. i felt more cheerful & happy when they are ard wif me as compared to when i am all alone.. cause tat time, i will be listenin to my songs & thking abt alot of things.. its not tat i am lazy n dun wan to use my brain at all.. its jux tat i am really too tired to use it already.. esp when i know all this pro cant be solved by jux thking abt it cause there's no conclusion at all.. e only best thing is not to go n thk abt it.. & the only time when i am doing tat is when i am occupied wif other stuffs....

i admit tat i am very stressed n tired now.. leading a life wif only work n slp.. not even going out to meet my other frenz cause i cant afford it at all... like wat qc say, for a gal, i seems to haf no life at all.. even my fav clubbing i also gif up le cause am really too tired for it..

i always believe the songs we listen reflect one's scenario at that pt of time.. tat's y i rather use songs to express myself cause sometimes its hard for me to differentiate n know exactly wat i are feeling...

really gt alot alot of things to tell him to ask him.. wondering whether he feels e same also.. but at tis pt of time, i dun thk it will help or mean anything ba.. mayb it will cause each other more pain only... also duno when will i be able to haf a nice chat wif him.. meeting up is a problem.. even when we meet, i also duno will i be able to express myself or not.. mayb i will jux end up like e past few times, become speechless n duno wat to say at all.... duno y, he jux has tis ability to stop me from saying how i really feel.... mayb i know tat wat i say to him will cause him more pain & i dun wan tat to happen ba....

i still rem tat in e past, i am really very selfish.. always saying things out n w/o going thru my mind... jux blurt watever i feel at tat pt of time, w/o thking how the other party will feel... tat time, i will still feel tat i am doing the right things for speaking my mind out but now i realise how irresponsible i am...

the song means sth but definitely not the title of it.. but i know, one day, there will come a day, this whole song will mean sth....

went out until 1 plus again wif lawrence they all.. haha.. actually we off work at 8 plus le but muz help jeremy to meet a cust so went to sembawang n eat while waiting for the cust... den suddenly jeremy said tat he is not going down to seng kang to meet his cust le so he came n meet us instead....

we went to eat the selegie tow huay at yishun nasi lemak there.. now den i know there's a branch there.. super nice lo.. love their tow huay & qing cao... haha.. yum yum.... *slurpz*

went to meet the cust aft that & went to mr lawrence's place cause he wanna bath... so me & jeremy played cards there... i cant believe that total 4 rounds of game, i lost all... wat's tis... he muz be a con-man lo... haha.. den we went to pick mr billy up b4 going down to AMK to meet another of their frenz for coffee....

was super in e mood to work yest.. duno y also.. haha.. tok to my cust like they are my frenz den got quite alot of referal.. was quite a fruiful day.. stayed in e office until 8 plus as usual & went to catch mr harry potter at cwp wif lawrence n some colleagues..

lawrence was complaining to me thruout the movie & asked me when will the thing end.. haha.. in e end, he even fall aslp lo.. thk the work is really making him damn tired.. went to al-ameen for my late dinner wif em aft the show ended ard 12 plus.. was damn seh when i reached there.. stoning all e way.. den jeremy's fren was really funny.. haha.. make me luff until cannot take it...

reached home n listen to my songs b4 slping.. alot of things flashed back.. realised how much has happened within tis 2 mths.. its really alot alot of things.. its been 2 wks since i went to genting.. there's alot of things i wan to tell him at that pt of time.. as the time passes by, i realised tat wat i wan to say to him is becoming lesser & lesser.. all those things are being buried more n more deep into my heart where i thk i will not go n dig em out anymore..

felt that we are getting further n further apart from each other.. well, isnt that the way all tis should end?? as far as i hate it to be, its turning tat way... there will come a day when we will be too busy as to rem each other.... or will only occassionally rem that there's tis person in our life once.....

has been damn busy recently.. consecutive burn my 2 sats le.. den next wk one gonna burn again.. no choice.. my no. is not really fantastic, yest help lawrence to write abt report abt the ranking & the total product we sold, i am ranked no. 4 lo... quite disappointed...

went to Central wif him for dinner aft work yest cause we are going to geographer later in e nite... 1st time step into the shopping centre & its really lika a maze.. 1st time i felt so lost inside a shopping centre.. duno where i am exactly... but i muz say there are alot of nice restaurant wif nice ambience there.. mux really find some time to go there to haf dinner wif frenz etc... rem last time i used to love the esplanade?? now thk i am going to love it there.. hehe...

there's this hokkaido ice cream shop.. it looks quite nice but i am too full to stuff another food inside my stomach anymore.. shall go n try it out one day.. oh ya, there's tis pastry shop over there.. wa.. looks damn nice also.. hehe.. if my office is over there thk i will jux become a fat lady.. hehe

went to geographer wif lawrence, his frenz & billy.. 1st time there too.. its really not bad.. quite enjoyable.. tis days, i rather sit down & relax rather den dance.. stayed there until 1 plus & went to haf supper at mac.. oh my, how am i going slim down??

woke up at 8 today.. ever since the genting trip ended, i never slp later den 9 lo.. but not really feeling as tired as i tot it would be.. came straight home aft tuition.. am too tired to go out anymore.. rather slack at home & rot & acc my family... sun is a day for em & for myself.. realise tat i do need a break from the things i do also...

took a nap from 12 plus to 4.. damn shiok... tml gonna start the crazy meeting the no. week again.. hope time can pass faster cause at e end of the mth we are going to organise a company trip or outing.. quite looking forward to it.. finally can relac & dun thk abt no. anymore.. hehe...

feeling damn tired tis days even though i haf 8 hours of slp.. apart from feeling tired & need to stone, there's no other feelings le... someone ask me why am i pushing myself like tat?? erm, is tat consider as pushing myself?? seriously, i duno lei...

well, mayb in e eyes of others, i am doing tat ba.. on my side, i duno wat am i doing also.. isit because of family, wanna fight n build up my career so tat i can haf a better path to walk in e future or isit because tat's e only way to numb myself from all e other feelings except tiredness...

dun worry guys, i am not like last time when i breakdown w/o me reasling at all... from that incident onwards, i know myself beta.. i know i am not as strong as i seem & i do need help n a listening ear....

getting fatter & fatter tis days.. wat to do.. office work will make a gal become fatter & esp i am working in a all guys environment.. they will eat no matter wat one lo & i am those very easily succumb to temptation type.. eat is ok lei, worse thing is i dun haf time to exercise at all!! gt input & no output... jia lat....

went for tuition & self-courier jux now.. haven been leaving office ard 5 plus at all.. today is e 1st time.. felt abit weird ah cause most of the time when i come out of e place, its already dark le.. 1st time i see e sun shining brightly when i left.. haha..

jux came back from dinner wif geraldine darling n lawrence at the esplanade.. thk ever since i went wif him for movie e other time, i haven been there again le.. the feeling is damn diff already.. its now filled wif all those things from the NDP.. last time still can enjoy the breeze n look at the sea.. now can only look at all those construction going on there.. dun like the feeling at all....

its only been 2 mths n so much things has changed there.. things can change so fast, let alone a person's heart rite?? tat's y ppl always say human being is the most famthomable creature in tis world.. very unpredictable...

was very stressed abt the numbers again today.. can only squeeze out 2 CPs.. mux thx kenny for helping me to cover up for the shortfall... has been relying on him for e past 2 days for the no. cause last wk i dun haf any acceptance at all.. muz really say he is my best buddy.. haha.. its really hard on him lo.. nvm, next wk will be my turn to cover his shortfall if there are any.. hehe..

went for a self courier today at shaw centre.. brnadon n kenny went wif me & we haf subway there... super long din haf tat le.. nowadays, only manage to go near our office for lunch.. had been eating alot of malay food lo.. how i miss those fast food & chi cuisine..

going to slp now le.. tml gotta stress on no again.. gonna do a self courier & gif tuition.. looking forward to sun, cause its e only time tat i can rot at home...

i made him angry again today.. well, thk i jux haf tis special ability to cause him to feel alot of things other den happy... well, is tat the mission for me to come into tis world???

i really dun mean but everytime, i will jux do it again.. argh~~ felt abit sian aft the incident..

went for a self-courier today at somerset.. was raining heavily in e morning so din go down wif jeremy.. met him at somerset straight instead.. gt knocked out the moment i board the train.. really very tired ah.. n tis will last until sat cause we need to go back for calling on tis coming sat....

really very pek cek wif that cust lo.. in e end, he cancelled off the application.. feel like screaming at him.. today really damn suay la.. den went down to the UOB building there wif him cause he wanna sign up his colleague for the card... only managed to reach the office aft 12.. waste my time on a stupid courier tat was cancelled in e end.....

was doing follow up again today.. wa.. damn stressed la.. i wanna relac but no time!!!! can i jux go for another vacation again soon?? in e end, cant go for qing yang's bday chalet at chevron because of all the work stuff... cant watch my harry potter also... tml gonna do another courier.. hope tis one will go on smoothly & get a few more referal to make up for todays' loss....

uploaded the photos taken on mon & yest... that's the photo we took outside carl's..


qc & billy wif their brand new image....


billy & jean.. she really lost alof of weight...


me & qc acting cute.. haha..


jean darling & me..


do i look innocent.. hehe..


my best buddy in SIM...


i thk qc looks very ke ai in tis pic.. hee...

den comes the photo we took in e office for kenny's bday...


tat's the bday boy...


our team.. ( but jackson was absent tat day.. )

finally ending wif......


jeremy acting gay.... hehe...

wa.. damn tired today.. only slp for 6 hours for the past 2 days..

went n meet qc, jean & billy aft work yest cause need to discuss wif em abt the module we are going to take tis yr as today is e day for e ecr thingy le.. was late for the meeting cause there's so much things to do at the office.. haiz.. the response for the corporate roadshow is not as fantastic as wat we tot it would be.. in fact, its quite disappointint lo...

met em at the carl's junior at MS.. super long never haf such a gathering le.. nowadays, its like so hard to gather everyone together lo.. billy n qc change their hairstyles.. n we took alot of pic there..

we went to meet qc's cousin, ivan, who was our senior from SIM for some advice regarding the courses.. finally decide on wat to take le.. felt quite relieve lo.. den we last min decide to go n sing ktv at partyworld cause ivan's fren is working there n can get us a room... drove there n on the way i make a fool of myself again.. argh~~ really becoming more n more bimbotic tis days la.. jia lat lei....

i was really impressed by qc's cousin.. he can sing damn well & i mean it.. he is the 2nd person aft zhiwei that really impressed me wif his singing lo.. there's once when i tot i am at some live concert.. haha... its been a long time since someone can impressed me this way.. totally defeated.. hehe...

we sing until 1 plus & went back le cause today still need to work if not, thk we will jux sing until the next morning lo.. haha.. super long never had such a gathering le.. so quite enjoy it.. nowadsys, my life is all abt work lo.. damn stressed...

den today, is the ecr thingy.. wa.. damn sian also.. hate to vie wif ppl over module but tis yr die die muz do tat cause wanna take MSM... feeling damn stressed abt the ecr thing for the whole day.. no mood to do anything lo..

den in e afternoon, e 4 of us went out for lunch.. jeremy need to go n do a courier at golden mile so lawrence, me & billy went down wif him.. went to ask abt the bus tic to go to genting.. lawrence is serious abt organising a team outing lo.. still in e midst of deciding where to go now.. see how ba.. hehe...

aft tat, we went to bra basah den haf our lunch near beach road.. billy n lawrence went back to the office 1st while me & jeremy went to get a birthday cake for kenny.. its his birthday today.. took quite a few photos.. will upload em soon...

was damn busy in e office today doing submission.. no time to do calling at all.. th genting trip is really slowing me down.. my no is quite low now.. duno how to account to lawrence lo.. den feel very sian also.. muz buck up..

at 6 sharp, i log into the website to choose the timetable le.. muz be damn kiasu ah.. no choice.. hehe.. will be taking 3 subjects at the same timing wif em but for MSM, i haf to take alone cause they log in abit later n my slot was filled up le.. haiz... will be having 3 day wk tis yr.. wan to make it 2 one but cant.. but its abit weird also cause over the 3 yrs, tis is e 1st time i only need to go back to sch for 3 days.. quite shiok....

work OT today.. only manage to knock off at 8.. damn tired lo.. so asked jeremy & billy to drop me & brandon at jurong since they are going there.. its nearer for me to go back from there also.. but in e end, i went wif em to meet the person who wanna buy jeremy's bike at jurong aft dropping brandon off...

aft that, they send me back & we had our dinner at al-ameen near my place... went back home ard 10 plus...

very fast lei.. its a wk since i went to genting.. how come the time in spore pass so fast?? isit because i am working tat's y i thk time passes very fast??? duno lei.. i jux know work really makes me forget abt alot of things.. tat's y i took up another tuition on sun.. took tat cause i wanna make myself busy.. i am jux scare of being too free cause i know tat's when 'things' come n haunt me.... am glad that at least there is work for me to kp me occupied n make me tired.. :)

finally am free today to come here n upload the photos from the genting trip & update u guys abt the trip...

we reached there early in e morning ard 430.. there's simply nth to do except the casino & breakfast buffet at genting hotel.. so we went to haf breakfast instead cause its jux to early n too tired for us to go into the casino...

managed to check in ard 10 plus.. which is like 4 hrs earlier den i haf expected.. cause normally i tot we can check in only aft 2.. its my 2nd time going there in e morn, cause i am not so sure also..

aft tat, i went down to starbucks.. cause wan to tell him tat we had already checked in so dont need their room already.. but he din turn up aft an hour wait for him.. felt quite werid & anxious during the wait.. guessing why he din turn up or haven come yet den finally come to e conclusion tat he muz haf missed the timing & overslp cause he was sick...

qc was really surprised by my patience for being able to wait so long & not getting flared up.. haha.. i was surprised by myself also cause normally i dun wait so long for someone.. esp when i have nth to do during the wait..

went to the old casino wif em b4 having our lunch..


me & baozhu ( brandon's gf )



aft lunch, we went continue walking ard & bump into him at some ulu place that i myself never tot we will be able to meet.. that's when we had the less den 3 min conversation.. felt quite weird... duno i should use wat tone to tok to him... lost~~~

went to our room & rest for a while b4 going to the ktv...


wrestling competition in our room.. haha..


the mysterious hand contributed by baozhu.. hehe..


brandon, qc, me & baozhu..

they brought into a room tat's so cute.. its filled wif this cartoon character & i gt crazy... kp taking photos in there.. haha..


its damn cute rite..


the pearl.. hehe..

at nite, we played MJ in our 'gaming room'.. its an extra room that i booked.. played n drk there until 3 plus... gt damn knocked out.. was glad tat i am at least still sober enuff to walk back from that room to our own hotel room.. but the moment i reached the room, i jux concussed..

the next day, me & qc woke up ard 10 plus & had the day to ourself cause we dun wan to go to the theme park.. in e end, we went to watch die hard 4.. its really damn nice..

we met em for dinner at nite & walk ard the place aft tat.. the weather tat nite is quite cooling.. how i wish my ipod is working den i can jux sit at the theme park there n rot for an hour or so.. haha..


our group photo..


me & mr qc..


look at how brandon is bullying his gf....

we went to the park aft that.. sit there n chatted for almost an hour b4 going back for MJ in e room.. play until 2 plus tis time round b4 going back to the hotel room & slp....

last day at genting, we went to the casino in e morning b4 going to catch transformer.. had the osim chair tis time round.. really damn shiok.. wonder when will singapore has tis facilities..

that marks the end of the whole genting trip.... ~~end of vacation~~

i really felt the genting trip tis time round is a joke for me... on e very 1st day, on e bus there, my mp3 hang the moment i on it.. cant off it nor do anything to it but to let it be like tat until all e batt has been used up.. i haf charged it to the max at the office, fearing tat i wont haf enuff batt to last me there but in e end, i used up all the batt w/o even listening to any songs!! jux how suay can i get??? i am like so handicapped w/o all my music tat kept me occupied wif my tots... well, thk its a signal to me tat tis trip is not gonna be a gd one....

today, i went to charge the stupid ipod.. trying whether its ok or not b4 i bring it down for servicing.. well.... it was perfectly fine!!! wa... thk all tis is jux fated la.. heaven jux dun wan me to listen to my songs there & let me thk things thru alone like the other time.... really damn pek cek la... like wat qc told me, thk no one will believe wat i am saying now la.. cause its jux too coincident le.... argh~~~~ why everything is going against me at that pt of time??? is tat a way to tell me tat i am wrong to go there at that time??? well, judging from wat's happening to me, i thk it is....

den lawrence ask me today when i am in e office whether i still gt any free room stay there cause he wanna organise a short trip at e end of the mth for us... can u believe?? i might be going there soon again... tis time round, i really gt phobia to go there.. not because i had gone there for a couple of times within tis few mths but because of wat's happening to me during tis trip....

din really relax myself at all... stil felt damn stressed out & not relieve of anything.. i was still hoping that tis short getaway will at least release some stresss & make me more refresh so tat i can recharge & feel more motivated to work... but i thk its making things worse instead.. cause i din relax at all during the trip & during my day away, my workload build up.... there's so much follow-up & submission to complete... den there's still tis corporate roadshow thingy on mon... which means, there's more follow-up & documentation coming up....

nowadays, my life is jux all abt work, tuition & slp... no time to even acc my family, let alone go out wif frenz... duno will haf the time to go n watch harry potter or not.... haiz.. why am i pushing myself so hard???

came across sth like a zodiac thingy.. the title is "情傷後最容易得後遺症的星座".. surprisingly, i am among the top 3.. tat's wat the results say~~~

雖說水瓶們聰明絕頂，可惜愛情公式卻不是他們的強項，讓他們暈頭轉向卻又找不到出路的這種感覺會讓他們很害怕...

seriously, i thk its quite accurate.. :p

为何永远放不低..为何错爱这一位..但求仍然维系不惜一切..我为你执迷...
为何永远放不低..任情爱控制身体..任谁关心仍未可把你代替.......


jux reached home not long ago.. tis genting trip was the most unbearable one that i had among all the 3 times that i had within tis 2 mths... i tot the previous one was the worse already, well i am wrong.. totally wrong...

tis time round, i went wif qc, brandon & his gf.. its wif another grp of my frenz, 1st time going there alone wif my gang but i am not enjoying myself at all.. its not because they are not fun to be wif or anything.. the problem lies totally wif me..

i jux felt damn unhappy & even the cool air there cant do anything to relieve me of tat sad feeling... knowing tat he was there too but tis time round, we are like so far apart... he was jux staying right beside the room on top of my level but i only saw him for like 2-3 times & we only tok once, which lasted like less den 3 min... as for the other times, he was wif his frenz, so i din go over to say hi or anything.. dun wan to disturb his trip & dun dare to go over ba... me feeling weird n sad is enuff le, no need to drag another person in... the feeling of so near yet so far is really killing me.... although most of the time i stil can luff & joke wif qc they all, but inside i know i am feeling damn empty... i am jux not myself...

went to the ktv wif em on e 1st nite, the waiter brought us to the room 2 rooms away from the 'past' one... ha.. either i will be in there or i will jux be ard the vincinity, thk i jux cant run away... while walking to the washroom, i purposely walk there.. told u guys, i am not myself at all!! den last nite, we went to the park, tis time round, its in e nite.. same timing as the last time i went wif him but there's no mist or fog... can see the sky & the scenery below very very clearly... there are alot of stars hanginh on the sky, its really very beautiful.. how i wish he was there wif me at tat pt of time.... felt really empty while i was there wif em.. although i did join in the conversation & joke, but most of the time, i am jux drifting away in my tots... tot abt alot of things... things tat until tis pt of time i am not able to solve or clear em...

did tot of calling him in his room on both nites.. but i jux dun haf the courage to do it.. scare that he might find it weird why i call him, scare that there might be no one in the room to ans the call, scare that i might disturb his slp, scare of rejection, scare of alot of things...

i know myself too well.. i know i wont be truthful of my own feelings or tots when i am here in singapore.. i need to be out of the country b4 i really face my true feelings & can express myself beta... its such a gd opportunity but i jux miss it & let it go jux like tat....

i wanted to ask him out for coffee & haf a chat over there cause there'a so much things tat i wanted to say to him, to tell him.. i tot tat tis trip is a gd chance for me to do so but fate is jux playing a joke on us... we jux din happened to bump straight into one another aft the 1st meeting... another thing is, i gif him e wrong no. to my room.. i jux gt mixed up b/w the last 2 no. of my room & brandon's room.... thk tis is really fate... 1st time i make such a big mistake..... tat's y he cant manage to get me.... well, mayb some things are really fated or meant to be kept inside & not spoken out...

i hate myself for not plucking up my courage to call him in his room.. hate myself for being such a coward at that pt of time... hate myself for being so blur as to rem the room no. wrongly.. finally, hate myself for not being able to let go of all tis...

had been feeling damn tired tis days... really din expect that office job will be tat tiring also.. can u imagine i slp from 9pm on sat until the next morning.. haha..

went back to the office as usual.. gt quite alot of follow up to do.. damn stressed today.. mux be due to the monday blues thing tat causes everyone to be so stressed.. haha..

tuition was cancelled today... wanted to go to ecp for dinner wif lawrence one but sth crops up in e office.. end up working until 8 plus.. din even haf dinner den haf to come home le cause haven pack for my genting trip tml.. clarence msg me & ask me out together wif barn but really no time today.. damn packed... thk can only meet em next wk when i come back from genting le ba.. den next mon still gt corporate roadshow.. wa.. damn shag...

erm.. muz really mention that the prata near my workplace is damn 'nap'... haf been eating for like 3 or 4 days a wk le but still craving for it.. well.. if this goes on, thk b4 long, i will become a fatty.. haha.....

jux finished packing my bag.. felt damn guilty cause haven been bonding wif my family tis days.. e moment i reached home, most of em are going to bed le or when i am at home, my mum will be out lo... haiz.. den tml going to genting, cant bond wif em again.. really felt quite bad abt it...

thk its really a coincident, tml will be the date when things happened 2 mths back.. going back there again 2 mths later on e same date, e feelings is abit weird.. haha.... time flies ah, so fast 2 mths le... felt abit weird at work today... duno isit because of tis or due to the stress.... thk i need to let the cool wind there to 'unblock' my mind again.. hehe...