wanted to come online to blog but my mum was using the comp the whole nite so.... yest was sort of my last day working as a full timer tis hols.. it was quite a quiet & mono one as compared to my previous one last yr.. dun haf the time to do wat i wish to & want to.. well, its all because of the circumstances i am in... shant elaborate more on it.....
sch reopening soon... going back to the life of a student... quite excited but also quite scare of it... i really duno whether i haf really put the past behind me or isit because i am too busy wif work & haf no time to go n thk abt it, tat's why i tot i am back to my old self... tis will be coming to light soon... i will be knowing the real ans once i am too free... which is when i am back to sch... only tat time i will know wat's exactly i am feeling towards him.... tat's also wat i am most afraid of also.... jean darling told me to use tis hols to forget abt everything so tat when i am back to sch everything will be back to normal...... i duno i haf hidden everything nicely or haf put it behind me already.. if its e 1st one den i hope it will remain hidden well forever...
wish for another vacation to somewhere i haf never been b4 real soon... gt thk of joining the sch diving trip tis coming sept... shall see how it goes.. den wanted to ask jean & qc they all to go on some trip but haven decide where to go yet.. gonna meet em up next wk to discuss abt it... hope can go out of town asap.. i am really in need of a break.... the change of my life is really too drastics within tis 4 mths...
for e 1st 2 mths, everything seems to be changing all the time & i had a hard time following the pace of it... as for e latter 2, everything is like so monotonous & my pace is too fast for its change..... thk i mux balance the 2 of em out now cause i dun wish to lead that type of life anymore..... why cant my life be simpler??? isit because of my expectation of myself tat is causing all tis??? if yes den wat mux i do to get rid of all tis expectation????
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
haven been coming to blog for almost a wk.. tat's because 1stly, i din come online aft my work tis days.. 2ndly, there's really nth for me to blog tis days... i am like feelingless.... not exceptionally happy nor sad... but occassionally, sth will still stir in my heart.. it will jux happen w/o any warning... in e day, in e nite, when i am alone, when i am wif my frenz.... any place, any time... tat's how complicated human feelings are & how penetrable memories are.. it can jux caught u as n when they like....
all that has happened b/w me & him are jux like a small ripple tat appear when a stone is being thrown into a pond & leaves no traces of it when the stone sinks... there are like no traces or watsoever abt wat happened 4 mths back... it seems like nth had happened b4... we are leading our own life as if we had never crossed each other's path b4... doing our own things, going out wif our own frenz wif no association of each other unless its necessary.... back to how he used to contact me once in a while in e past to catch up on each other's recent happenings.... well, tat might not be a bad thing aft all cause like tis, he will be happier as he gt a lesser source of trouble which is ME....
actually on my side, knowing tat i am not holding a special position in his life anymore makes me feel console cause i know in tis way, wat i haf done or said will not haf a large impact on him now.... well, frankly speaking who dun wish to hold a special place in someone's life?? but i am in a position tat will only bring him negative feelings so its beta for me to stir away from tat 'place' if possible.... no pt getting both party hurt in tis again....
all that has happened b/w me & him are jux like a small ripple tat appear when a stone is being thrown into a pond & leaves no traces of it when the stone sinks... there are like no traces or watsoever abt wat happened 4 mths back... it seems like nth had happened b4... we are leading our own life as if we had never crossed each other's path b4... doing our own things, going out wif our own frenz wif no association of each other unless its necessary.... back to how he used to contact me once in a while in e past to catch up on each other's recent happenings.... well, tat might not be a bad thing aft all cause like tis, he will be happier as he gt a lesser source of trouble which is ME....
actually on my side, knowing tat i am not holding a special position in his life anymore makes me feel console cause i know in tis way, wat i haf done or said will not haf a large impact on him now.... well, frankly speaking who dun wish to hold a special place in someone's life?? but i am in a position tat will only bring him negative feelings so its beta for me to stir away from tat 'place' if possible.... no pt getting both party hurt in tis again....
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
was reading thru my blog entry last yr during my hols.. realise little things i haf done during tis hols as compared to last.. i really can be considered as super no life.. apart from working & giving tuition, i am doing nth at all.. yes NTH.... din go to club, din go out wif frenz for drks n movie, din go play mj, most imptly, din acc my mum at all.. last yr my blog is like a pic blog wif pic from the things i bought, eat n went but tis yr, its more like music & words... how boring it is rite...
ok la, 1stly is because i really din go anywhere apart from the office n home.. 2ndly, its because i am damn ugly n cui now.. yes, cui is e word... complexion is damn bad.. wanna go for facial but den no time, wanna go to exercise but need to go out early in e morning n came back late at nite... when is tis thing going to end... the worse thing is, i haf been working so hard but i dun see my money at all... i really duno where i haf spent my money??? i am not buying as much as last yr n are earning more but how come my money kps depleting??? den i still need to pay for my registration fee soon... wat is tis????
i wish i can go to a vacation, to somewhere tat i haf never been to b4.. tot of going to sdyney to find geraldine but den... no time, no money.... thk only in sept, when sch starts will i haf the luxury to do the things tat i have always wanted to do... as for now, i should endure another 1.5 wks ba... next fri will be sort of the last day i am a full timer le.... aft tat i will only be going back to the office n work whenever i am free.. thk i will haf more time for myself by den... shall leave my diet plan until den ba.. now, no matter how hard i try, i will still end up eating lunch n aft tat, sitting there immediately to do calling.. guess tat's how my tummy 'developed'.. haha...
ok la, 1stly is because i really din go anywhere apart from the office n home.. 2ndly, its because i am damn ugly n cui now.. yes, cui is e word... complexion is damn bad.. wanna go for facial but den no time, wanna go to exercise but need to go out early in e morning n came back late at nite... when is tis thing going to end... the worse thing is, i haf been working so hard but i dun see my money at all... i really duno where i haf spent my money??? i am not buying as much as last yr n are earning more but how come my money kps depleting??? den i still need to pay for my registration fee soon... wat is tis????
i wish i can go to a vacation, to somewhere tat i haf never been to b4.. tot of going to sdyney to find geraldine but den... no time, no money.... thk only in sept, when sch starts will i haf the luxury to do the things tat i have always wanted to do... as for now, i should endure another 1.5 wks ba... next fri will be sort of the last day i am a full timer le.... aft tat i will only be going back to the office n work whenever i am free.. thk i will haf more time for myself by den... shall leave my diet plan until den ba.. now, no matter how hard i try, i will still end up eating lunch n aft tat, sitting there immediately to do calling.. guess tat's how my tummy 'developed'.. haha...
Monday, August 20, 2007
that's wat i hope i can but i know i cant~~~~~
everything sort of like go back to normal.. i am not scare of coming home earlier for fear that i will anyhow thk when i am alone inside my room.. for the past mths, i am scare to come back home early cause when i am alone in my room, facing the comp, coming here to blog, all the memories in e past will come n haunt me & 'stab' my heart... tat is y i always go out until very late cause when i reach home the only thing i wan to do is slp.... will be too drained out to thk...
i know tat's an ostrich way to run away from problems... come to thk back, i am really very stupid rite.. haha... well, things are always better said den done... but now, i can tell u guys, i am fine already..... everything has been carefully hidden at some corner... i am back to my old self, who is damn boring & no life.. haha.. rather slack n rot at home den go out n haf fun... its damn tiring la... i rather enjoy the time alone & not bother anyone nor let anyone bother me.... i am jux a loner la.. dun like others to intrude my life & let others do tat unless.......
haha... but now there wont be any unless in e recent month to come.... i jux wan to lead a carefree life, not thking abt those complex thing.. practically, i jux dun wan to use my brain to thk anymore.. its damn tiring & i thk i have killed alot of my brain cells for e past few mths.. should let em rest n 're-born'... who says its bad to be a bim.... ha.....
haven seen him for almost 2 mths... well, tat might be one of the reason behind my change n back to the old self ba... there's tis saying, time is e best healer in tis world.. well, i totally agree wif it... time is wat we both needed at that pt of time... fate plays an impt part also.. there are alot of time when we are supposed to meet but things will jux crops up at the last min.... thk heaven jux dun wan us to meet ba cause its not the time yet for both of us... tot abt genting.. the place is not really big & i did saw him there but i duno y at tat time, i jux din go n call him & i even gave him the wrong no to my room... tis is kinda of strange rite... tat's fate, so strange n incredible..... not forgetting, so uncontrollable.....
it might not be a bad thing tat we din haf a gd chat over there... things might not be e same now if we did or we might use a shorter time to reach tis stage.. well, i duno.. since everything is not going to go back to the past anymore, no pt thinking abt the things tat will not be realised also rite.. there's jux so much possiblities.... wat i know is & am sure abt is all those things tat i wanna say at tat pt will be kept inside my heart.... it will not be said nor mention anymore... i will jux occassionally thk abt it & ponder over it..... tat's not a bad thing after all rite??
jux go n play a game.. the results are...
你不輕易吃醋，因爲你認爲愛情是你的就是你的，不是你的強留也沒用，所以你對感情不會採取纏 人盯人的態度。雖然你還是會有些心酸酸的感覺，但你覺得每個成年人都該對自己的行爲負責，不需用言語和行爲來制裁。這種理智的態度，可能會讓愛人覺得你不夠愛他，頻頻以各種假感情真動作，測試你的忍耐極限。
建議你在必要時應該表現一下你的吃醋情緒。
ha... even the test say i am too rational already.... rational or leave it to fate is more appropriate lei?? its quite true tat i dun wish to restrict & ask abt alot of things.. even if i ask i also will only ask once... it all boils down to trust... i still believe some things are meant not be be asked n said out.. so everyone should haf their secrets n privacy... if u need to use restriction, be it for love or frenship or anything, den i thk maintaining & having tis type of r/s is quite redundant.... at tis pt of time, tat's how i thk la.. mayb in a few yrs down the road i might thk differently......
Saturday, August 18, 2007
jux came back from my JC gathering.. haven met em for more den half a yr le.. thk e last time i saw em was on andy's birthday but tat time, ah li was not ard... so for her, it has been more den half a yr since my b'day celeb....
went to work early in e morning & reached there jux in time b4 the heavy downpour... today my sales can be considered very gd for a sat... at least the cust today are not slping & they dun sounded grumpy at all.. hehe.. work until 3 & went to meet a cust at bugis junction b4 going down to cineleisure to meet them who were there singing ktv.....
their session ended 15 min aft i reached.. as it was raining, we find it very troublesome to go n walk ard so we decide to find a place to sit down for some catching up session.. went to the crepe shop below cine & the food there is not was i expect it to be.. can be considered quite disappointing..
we do alot of catching n talked abt alot of stuffs.. really hope can come out for tis kinda session more often... den we went to shop at cine.. very long since the 'ah's gang' go shop in full strength le.. normally 1 of us will be missing in e group...
was walking happily when i saw Teck, he was working at one of the shop there today.... we were supposed to meet for dinner today but he cant make it so it was really a surprised to see him there.. but wat really surprised n shocked me the most is he gt himself a tongue stud... yes.. a TONGUE STUD!!! i never ever imagined tat he will go n get that kinda of piercing... all along he is like those gd gd boy lo... well, over tis yr he really change alot lo... sometimes i wonder isit the environment change a person or isit the other way round... but i jux know, things will not remain the same forever...
over the past months, i haf been thking abt alot of things... at tis pt of time, i can say to some extent, i lose hope in everything.. i dun believe in forever stuffs cause alot of things happened n made me realised tat there is none of such stuff in tis world..... i thk i am back to my old self already... b4 the whole incident, i also thk tis way.... dun tell me abt forever cause forever will never happen.... tis is because there is too much uncertainty in tis world already n on top of tat, human heart is e most complex thing.. i dun wan to make a promise & believe in a promise tat i know will not be 100% realised or carried out... dun tell me abt guaranteed or wat cause from now on, i will never believe in tat... well, i should re-phrase it ba... should say i will never stupidly believe in tat unless i place my trust in ta t person totally.... but its like harder for me to place my trust n heart to a person now.... cause i know myself too well already....
went to work early in e morning & reached there jux in time b4 the heavy downpour... today my sales can be considered very gd for a sat... at least the cust today are not slping & they dun sounded grumpy at all.. hehe.. work until 3 & went to meet a cust at bugis junction b4 going down to cineleisure to meet them who were there singing ktv.....
their session ended 15 min aft i reached.. as it was raining, we find it very troublesome to go n walk ard so we decide to find a place to sit down for some catching up session.. went to the crepe shop below cine & the food there is not was i expect it to be.. can be considered quite disappointing..
we do alot of catching n talked abt alot of stuffs.. really hope can come out for tis kinda session more often... den we went to shop at cine.. very long since the 'ah's gang' go shop in full strength le.. normally 1 of us will be missing in e group...
was walking happily when i saw Teck, he was working at one of the shop there today.... we were supposed to meet for dinner today but he cant make it so it was really a surprised to see him there.. but wat really surprised n shocked me the most is he gt himself a tongue stud... yes.. a TONGUE STUD!!! i never ever imagined tat he will go n get that kinda of piercing... all along he is like those gd gd boy lo... well, over tis yr he really change alot lo... sometimes i wonder isit the environment change a person or isit the other way round... but i jux know, things will not remain the same forever...
over the past months, i haf been thking abt alot of things... at tis pt of time, i can say to some extent, i lose hope in everything.. i dun believe in forever stuffs cause alot of things happened n made me realised tat there is none of such stuff in tis world..... i thk i am back to my old self already... b4 the whole incident, i also thk tis way.... dun tell me abt forever cause forever will never happen.... tis is because there is too much uncertainty in tis world already n on top of tat, human heart is e most complex thing.. i dun wan to make a promise & believe in a promise tat i know will not be 100% realised or carried out... dun tell me abt guaranteed or wat cause from now on, i will never believe in tat... well, i should re-phrase it ba... should say i will never stupidly believe in tat unless i place my trust in ta t person totally.... but its like harder for me to place my trust n heart to a person now.... cause i know myself too well already....
Monday, August 13, 2007
realise the entry was not being posted yest.. well, thk it might not be a bad thing aft all.. it might be heaven's will ba... if tat's the case, i shall let it stay as it is already.. tat will be my secret entry ba.. hehe..
as usual, i am not in e mood to work today.. thk i am really drained out le ba.. come to thk of it, tis hols, apart from working i din do much things lo.. din meet up wif frenz tat i am supposed to meet.. din go on vacation tat i am supposed to go & din slim down like i wan myself to be.. well, i really haf no time to exercise aft work.. its like only left wif weekend but den i still need to go for tuition n acc my family.. time is really not enough for me tis hols..
in another 4 wks time my sch will reopen le.. thk i shall try to find some time out to acc my mum n treat her to a nice meal.. was watching the food show yest.. realise i haven been cooking for a long long time.. all thx to my dad who spoilt our one n only microwave oven at home... ever since the oven is spoilt, i seldom cook le.. haha.. cause i prefer baking n making small snacks... feel like making sushi, mooncake, cookies & brownies..... erm.. thk i shall find one weekend & do it at home.. hehe...
oh, i muz really mention abt tis sickening thing.. i hate it e most when ppl jux disappear or din account for anything tat they are supposed to.. its so irresponsible.. today i met tis type of person again.. he jux simply hang up my call & off his hp aft tat... wa.. damn pek cek la....
someone might thk i am tat irresponsible also.. he has been showing his unhappiness on msn.. well, it quite bother me to some extent... to some pt, i felt really upset & guilty towards him & do intend to contact him back as a fren aft the whole incident has cooled off... but now, come to thk of it, i do warn him abt the consequences e other time... & i really cant stand him for wat he is doing on msn now... it has been so long already & he is still harping on e whole issue... if he is not doing wat he is doing now, i might haf contacted him back already.. but now, i am having 2nd tots.... he is acting as if the whole world owes him.... as if all e wrong is on e other party n not him, himself.... acting like a saint.... well, thk a mortal like me should not befren him ba.. our disparity in our status is too large already.... i shouldnt be in his frenz list cause it will jux downgrade his status....
u guys might thk tat i am very mean.... i duno,mayb i am ba.. but wat i am sure n know of is.... I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!
as usual, i am not in e mood to work today.. thk i am really drained out le ba.. come to thk of it, tis hols, apart from working i din do much things lo.. din meet up wif frenz tat i am supposed to meet.. din go on vacation tat i am supposed to go & din slim down like i wan myself to be.. well, i really haf no time to exercise aft work.. its like only left wif weekend but den i still need to go for tuition n acc my family.. time is really not enough for me tis hols..
in another 4 wks time my sch will reopen le.. thk i shall try to find some time out to acc my mum n treat her to a nice meal.. was watching the food show yest.. realise i haven been cooking for a long long time.. all thx to my dad who spoilt our one n only microwave oven at home... ever since the oven is spoilt, i seldom cook le.. haha.. cause i prefer baking n making small snacks... feel like making sushi, mooncake, cookies & brownies..... erm.. thk i shall find one weekend & do it at home.. hehe...
oh, i muz really mention abt tis sickening thing.. i hate it e most when ppl jux disappear or din account for anything tat they are supposed to.. its so irresponsible.. today i met tis type of person again.. he jux simply hang up my call & off his hp aft tat... wa.. damn pek cek la....
someone might thk i am tat irresponsible also.. he has been showing his unhappiness on msn.. well, it quite bother me to some extent... to some pt, i felt really upset & guilty towards him & do intend to contact him back as a fren aft the whole incident has cooled off... but now, come to thk of it, i do warn him abt the consequences e other time... & i really cant stand him for wat he is doing on msn now... it has been so long already & he is still harping on e whole issue... if he is not doing wat he is doing now, i might haf contacted him back already.. but now, i am having 2nd tots.... he is acting as if the whole world owes him.... as if all e wrong is on e other party n not him, himself.... acting like a saint.... well, thk a mortal like me should not befren him ba.. our disparity in our status is too large already.... i shouldnt be in his frenz list cause it will jux downgrade his status....
u guys might thk tat i am very mean.... i duno,mayb i am ba.. but wat i am sure n know of is.... I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!
Thursday, August 09, 2007
jux met anna for drks at the prata shop nearby.. hasnt been doing tis wif her for a super long time.. 1stly is because of our sch stuffs n exams which causes us to be super busy & now is because of my work commitment... but well, thk we gonna haf alot of tis kinda meeting soon... muz really say the satay near my place is really not bad... cham, thk i am going to eat there more often le....
met jeremy at sembawang tis morn.. the moment i gt onto his bike, the stripe on my scandal came off... damn heng lo.. luckily today i no need to meet cust...
super no mood to call my cust up for their doc... most of em has gone for their hols & i cant get em at all.. den tml i am going to KL le.. not e least excited abt it at all.. rather stay in s'pore n slack lo.. at least can still work on fri & bid billy gd bye.. ok la, it not tat serious also.. he will still come back to work.. jux tat it will only become a 2 day wk thingy....
going to KL on a thur... feeling abit weird.. tat time also taking the same old route on a thur morning jux like tml & coming back on a sat... argh~~~ yest brandon chatted wif me abt quite alot of things outside the pub... i should gif myself some time ba... thk tat's the only way out for me now also...
jeremy say tat tis coming weekend there's a meteor rain ah.. duno he is lying to me or wat.... always kena bluff by em lo... well, if its really true den i dun mind watching it.. ha... but so sad, gonna watch it alone tis yr.... how i wish........... erm.. is the myth of wishing upon a shooting stars true?? if yes den i muz thk of alot of wishes b4 tis weekend so i can make alot of wish since there will be alot of shooting stars... haha.. very stupid rite?? a myth will always be a myth.... i should haf known tat the wishes of mine is very hard to realise one....
was reading thru my blog ever since i started my hols.. there's still tis feeling stirring inside me...
met jeremy at sembawang tis morn.. the moment i gt onto his bike, the stripe on my scandal came off... damn heng lo.. luckily today i no need to meet cust...
super no mood to call my cust up for their doc... most of em has gone for their hols & i cant get em at all.. den tml i am going to KL le.. not e least excited abt it at all.. rather stay in s'pore n slack lo.. at least can still work on fri & bid billy gd bye.. ok la, it not tat serious also.. he will still come back to work.. jux tat it will only become a 2 day wk thingy....
going to KL on a thur... feeling abit weird.. tat time also taking the same old route on a thur morning jux like tml & coming back on a sat... argh~~~ yest brandon chatted wif me abt quite alot of things outside the pub... i should gif myself some time ba... thk tat's the only way out for me now also...
jeremy say tat tis coming weekend there's a meteor rain ah.. duno he is lying to me or wat.... always kena bluff by em lo... well, if its really true den i dun mind watching it.. ha... but so sad, gonna watch it alone tis yr.... how i wish........... erm.. is the myth of wishing upon a shooting stars true?? if yes den i muz thk of alot of wishes b4 tis weekend so i can make alot of wish since there will be alot of shooting stars... haha.. very stupid rite?? a myth will always be a myth.... i should haf known tat the wishes of mine is very hard to realise one....
was reading thru my blog ever since i started my hols.. there's still tis feeling stirring inside me...
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
jux came back home like half an hr ago.. went to drk wif em at a ktv pub along purvis street aft work today.. its our 1st team outing aft working together for more den a mth.. its really quite fun to haf tis kinda of outing.. thk we should haf it more often.. hehe.. was playing dice & cards in e pub... 1st time going to tis kinda ktv pub so dun really dare to sing there although i super in e mood to sing today.. erm.. should haf gone to the ktv today instead... but mr billy wanna drk lei.. he is really an alcoholic lo.. haha....
haiz... super sad cause mr kenny will be leaving in another one wk's time.. thk i will miss him alot alot lo.. cant bear to see him leave... but no choice ah, the govt is calling him to do his part for the country.. hee.. he is going to ns next mth le... gonna miss the time we work together... he is really my best buddy in e office.. we always help each other in our follow-up... hehe..
was doing submission the whole morning.. b4 going to work, i went to meet a cust at bras basah.. den ard 7, i went to meet another cust tat i close today at bugis junction.. the walking is making my leg super pain lo.. because of the stupid heels, my feet is full of blister now, damn painful.... i haf been wearing tis pair of heels for more den a mth & its still not seasoned yet.. damn pek cek...
sales today was so-so.. not really in the mood to do calling today once again.. thk i am losing the momentum le.. den tis fri cant work cause its cfm i will be going back to KL to visit my grandpa & will only be back tis coming sat.. well, at least i wont be missing my tuition for tis coming sun....
was reading ah li's blog jux now.. super jealous & envy her cause she is able to go to america for like 3 FULL months.. exploring all the places like las vagas, san francisco, new york... & now she is in taiwan... when will i ever haf the chance n money to do wat she is doing now... argh....
up till now, my hols is filled wif work n nth else.. wanna go on vacation to taiwan or hk but jux simply haf no savings to do tat.. was damn busy studying during the exam period n din manage to work & save... now, can only work till the max in hope tat when i get my pay n comm in sept, i will be able to go to taiwan wif my uni frenz... but my sch term is starting in mid sept la.. tat's the most sickening thing.. but my timetable is quite cool.. every wk, i will haf 4 free day.. erm.. mayb i can make use of that 4 days to go for a short getaway or sth like tat......
lawrence is starting up a new dept real soon.. the pay out for that dept is quite attractive.. still thking should i stay put in the current one or move to that instead but i stil haf my sch commitment.... argh.... tat's one thing i mux really consider....
how how.. i am dying for a vacation now.. i wanna take e aeroplane n go to some places where i haf never been to b4... come to thk of it, my life is really super boring lei...
haiz... super sad cause mr kenny will be leaving in another one wk's time.. thk i will miss him alot alot lo.. cant bear to see him leave... but no choice ah, the govt is calling him to do his part for the country.. hee.. he is going to ns next mth le... gonna miss the time we work together... he is really my best buddy in e office.. we always help each other in our follow-up... hehe..
was doing submission the whole morning.. b4 going to work, i went to meet a cust at bras basah.. den ard 7, i went to meet another cust tat i close today at bugis junction.. the walking is making my leg super pain lo.. because of the stupid heels, my feet is full of blister now, damn painful.... i haf been wearing tis pair of heels for more den a mth & its still not seasoned yet.. damn pek cek...
sales today was so-so.. not really in the mood to do calling today once again.. thk i am losing the momentum le.. den tis fri cant work cause its cfm i will be going back to KL to visit my grandpa & will only be back tis coming sat.. well, at least i wont be missing my tuition for tis coming sun....
was reading ah li's blog jux now.. super jealous & envy her cause she is able to go to america for like 3 FULL months.. exploring all the places like las vagas, san francisco, new york... & now she is in taiwan... when will i ever haf the chance n money to do wat she is doing now... argh....
up till now, my hols is filled wif work n nth else.. wanna go on vacation to taiwan or hk but jux simply haf no savings to do tat.. was damn busy studying during the exam period n din manage to work & save... now, can only work till the max in hope tat when i get my pay n comm in sept, i will be able to go to taiwan wif my uni frenz... but my sch term is starting in mid sept la.. tat's the most sickening thing.. but my timetable is quite cool.. every wk, i will haf 4 free day.. erm.. mayb i can make use of that 4 days to go for a short getaway or sth like tat......
lawrence is starting up a new dept real soon.. the pay out for that dept is quite attractive.. still thking should i stay put in the current one or move to that instead but i stil haf my sch commitment.... argh.... tat's one thing i mux really consider....
how how.. i am dying for a vacation now.. i wanna take e aeroplane n go to some places where i haf never been to b4... come to thk of it, my life is really super boring lei...
Monday, August 06, 2007
ok.. jux like jean, my blog is becoming more n more like a music blog.. ha.. come across alot of really nice songs tis days tat really describe how i feel ba... well, thk all love songs are almost the same in one way or another ba... hee...
hitch a ride from jeremy once again cause i am late for work.. he was riding damn fast today lo.. mayb due to we are late for work ba.. tat's not the worse part, the worse thing is his bike broke down in e middle of the road 1km away from our office.. we were stuck there for quite long n need to ask billy to come over n fetch me over to office 1st b4 heading back down to help jeremy again... come to thk of it, we were quite lucky already cause the bike din break down in e middle of the expressway....
was feeling damn moody n dun feel like doing any calling today.. waiting for my 'presents' but it only came late in e afternoon... thk there's quite a few rearrangement cause i din receive all of my forms...
came back straight home today.. din feel like going anywhere.. wanted to go for a jg one but wasnt feeling well.. den my mum called me while i was at cwp buying some fruits.. she was playing MJ at my aunt's house & want me to go over n fetch her... drove there to fetch her & quite enjoy driving alone & listening to the songs.... it really can help to lift up ur spirit.. no wonder when ppl are feeling down, they like to drive & san san xin...
finally haf the time to upload the photos le.. jackson & zhicong has left for almost 2 wks but now den i haf the time to upload the photos here.. hehe...
that's how we look like when we work.. look at how serious we are.. hehe..
zhicong...
kenny...
brandon working hard & jeremy playing the comp...
'prize' present ceremony.. haha.. ( we all sign on the plastic bag k... )
the 3 musketeers who always go to beach road for lunch...
the other trio...
one big family...
hope i can be seen here.. hehe..
my best buddy & partner.... the zi lian mr kenny.. ha...
the zi lian me @ ktv wif em...
hitch a ride from jeremy once again cause i am late for work.. he was riding damn fast today lo.. mayb due to we are late for work ba.. tat's not the worse part, the worse thing is his bike broke down in e middle of the road 1km away from our office.. we were stuck there for quite long n need to ask billy to come over n fetch me over to office 1st b4 heading back down to help jeremy again... come to thk of it, we were quite lucky already cause the bike din break down in e middle of the expressway....
was feeling damn moody n dun feel like doing any calling today.. waiting for my 'presents' but it only came late in e afternoon... thk there's quite a few rearrangement cause i din receive all of my forms...
came back straight home today.. din feel like going anywhere.. wanted to go for a jg one but wasnt feeling well.. den my mum called me while i was at cwp buying some fruits.. she was playing MJ at my aunt's house & want me to go over n fetch her... drove there to fetch her & quite enjoy driving alone & listening to the songs.... it really can help to lift up ur spirit.. no wonder when ppl are feeling down, they like to drive & san san xin...
finally haf the time to upload the photos le.. jackson & zhicong has left for almost 2 wks but now den i haf the time to upload the photos here.. hehe...
that's how we look like when we work.. look at how serious we are.. hehe..
zhicong...
kenny...
brandon working hard & jeremy playing the comp...
'prize' present ceremony.. haha.. ( we all sign on the plastic bag k... )
the 3 musketeers who always go to beach road for lunch...
the other trio...
one big family...
hope i can be seen here.. hehe..
my best buddy & partner.... the zi lian mr kenny.. ha...
the zi lian me @ ktv wif em...
Sunday, August 05, 2007
woke up early in e morning once again for my tuition.. drove there since daddy is not using the car today.. dun feel like waking up today at all cause i was having tis dream.. ha.. erm, well i am not going to share tis dream of mine here.. can only say tat its sth tat i haf always wished it will happen... let u guys go n imagine ba.. hee....
aft tat, i came back home n rot until 2 plus b4 preparing to go out.. meeting anna & shaoyun today to pre-celeb anna's bday which falls on next sun.. ha.. we very kiasu rite.. ok la, scare tat day she need to spend wif mr ricky ma... went down to city hall cause going to Sizzlers for dinner... b4 tat, we want to go n get the donut fromt he duno donut wat la... ever since it opened its shop here, i haf never tried their donut b4... really feel like trying all their flavours but the queue is damn long... argh~~~ the one wif the strawberry or duno wat topping one really looks damn appetizing... haiz.....
brought my camera out but forgot to take photos... we stayed at Sizzlers until 7 plus & went to shop.. haven been walking ard n shopping ard town area for like more den a month.. finally have the time to do so... walk pratically into every shop today & look at their new items.. hehe... boguht a dress from zara & wonder when will i haf e chance to wear it.. ha.. cant possibly wear to work because of the stairs there... as for going out, tis days no one ask me out lei.. haha... ok la, if anyone ask me out i also duno whether i haf the time to do so or not... thk the OT days are coming back to haunt us le.. last wk our team target isnt tat gd so i thk lawrence may wan us to stay back.. den tis coming thur, i may need to go back to KL & visit my grandpa... gonna haf a hectic wk ahead le.....
we went home ard 9 plus & chatted on the train... really hope we can haf more chance to come out... really miss all my frenz.. haven been getting in contact n catching up wif em... thk work is really taking alot of my private time... well, mayb when sch start tat time i will haf more time ba.. haha.. so contradicting rite?? others normally haf more time to go out wif frenz during their hols, but i am e other way round.. erm, thk i am really a workaholic ba.... realise i haven been going to club for a very long time... felt like going tis coming wk... as for MJ, also super long never touch it le... how i miss my leisure time..... but i am getting more & more used to tis kinda lifestyle le..... well, it might not be a bad thing aft all... :)
came across tis songs quite long ago.. its a very soothing & relaxing songs.. jux tat the lyrics is abit sad... felt like recommending to my frenz.. esp jean darling... for those who knows me, they will know why i put tis songs up... shouldnt elaborate more also....
anna & geraldine jux told me tat my blog is always very sad... well, mayb its because tis is the only place where i will & am willing to show all my emotions ba... tat is why everything here is link wif how i feel... jean darling once say tat my blog shows a very very different me... ha.. its quite true la.. cause normally i will put up a very brave front in front of others or they will jux see me as a happy-go-lucky person... i jux dun like to show my vulnerable side right in front of others & trouble em ba.... make em worry for me, feel sorry for me etc...
jux wanna tell u guys, i do enjoy wat is happening to me in my daily life its jux tat most of the time i will use tis channel to vent my emotions so i seldom blog abt my life here... so need to worry k?? :)
aft tat, i came back home n rot until 2 plus b4 preparing to go out.. meeting anna & shaoyun today to pre-celeb anna's bday which falls on next sun.. ha.. we very kiasu rite.. ok la, scare tat day she need to spend wif mr ricky ma... went down to city hall cause going to Sizzlers for dinner... b4 tat, we want to go n get the donut fromt he duno donut wat la... ever since it opened its shop here, i haf never tried their donut b4... really feel like trying all their flavours but the queue is damn long... argh~~~ the one wif the strawberry or duno wat topping one really looks damn appetizing... haiz.....
brought my camera out but forgot to take photos... we stayed at Sizzlers until 7 plus & went to shop.. haven been walking ard n shopping ard town area for like more den a month.. finally have the time to do so... walk pratically into every shop today & look at their new items.. hehe... boguht a dress from zara & wonder when will i haf e chance to wear it.. ha.. cant possibly wear to work because of the stairs there... as for going out, tis days no one ask me out lei.. haha... ok la, if anyone ask me out i also duno whether i haf the time to do so or not... thk the OT days are coming back to haunt us le.. last wk our team target isnt tat gd so i thk lawrence may wan us to stay back.. den tis coming thur, i may need to go back to KL & visit my grandpa... gonna haf a hectic wk ahead le.....
we went home ard 9 plus & chatted on the train... really hope we can haf more chance to come out... really miss all my frenz.. haven been getting in contact n catching up wif em... thk work is really taking alot of my private time... well, mayb when sch start tat time i will haf more time ba.. haha.. so contradicting rite?? others normally haf more time to go out wif frenz during their hols, but i am e other way round.. erm, thk i am really a workaholic ba.... realise i haven been going to club for a very long time... felt like going tis coming wk... as for MJ, also super long never touch it le... how i miss my leisure time..... but i am getting more & more used to tis kinda lifestyle le..... well, it might not be a bad thing aft all... :)
came across tis songs quite long ago.. its a very soothing & relaxing songs.. jux tat the lyrics is abit sad... felt like recommending to my frenz.. esp jean darling... for those who knows me, they will know why i put tis songs up... shouldnt elaborate more also....
anna & geraldine jux told me tat my blog is always very sad... well, mayb its because tis is the only place where i will & am willing to show all my emotions ba... tat is why everything here is link wif how i feel... jean darling once say tat my blog shows a very very different me... ha.. its quite true la.. cause normally i will put up a very brave front in front of others or they will jux see me as a happy-go-lucky person... i jux dun like to show my vulnerable side right in front of others & trouble em ba.... make em worry for me, feel sorry for me etc...
jux wanna tell u guys, i do enjoy wat is happening to me in my daily life its jux tat most of the time i will use tis channel to vent my emotions so i seldom blog abt my life here... so need to worry k?? :)
Friday, August 03, 2007
been listening to tis song '深呼吸' tis couple of days.. really hope i can do wat the lyrics say...
我要我自己坚强我知道我能做到
我就要活得比从前更好
123深呼吸就感觉这力量
叫做翅膀准备飞翔
我的想法很简单没有他们的复杂
我背负一个伟大的梦想
123深呼吸我呼吸爱的力量
学着让自己勇敢
can i really do it?? i know if i really do which means i haf move on & let go le... i know tat should be wat i am doing & the only way out for me but seriously i know deep inside me i dun wish to.. i dun wish to move on cause i know if i do, tat's it le... i know myself too well in tis aspect le.. when i really thk it thru tat time & decide to move on, i can be really 'heartless'...
well, heartless in a way like i can super dun care abt wat is happening to him at all... if he dun contact me, i will not take e initiative to at all... mayb its due to my character ba, i am jux too lazy... i am too used to being alone at times & quite enjoy the feeling.... ha... in tis aspect, i mus really apologise to my frenz... sorry for not contacting u guys most of the time, its not tat i haf forgotten abt u all but itx jus tat i am not used to doing tat ba.....
i jux realise today tat he gt read my blog... shit, i haf written alot of stupid things lo.. really alot alot & now i am also doing it again... really wonder how he felt while he read my blog nowadays?? will he feel hurt like last time, is the intensity the same or he is jux reading it wif a normal heart n mind.... if its e 1st one, den i muz apologise to him but i will feel happy to some extent... ha... cause i know i still haf a place in his heart even though its very small.... if its e latter, den i will feel....... wat a contradicting person i am....
i duno whether he will see tis entry or not but i will jux treat it he will ba... jux wanna tell u, dun feel guilty & upset when u see wat i haf blog here.. all along its never my intention to do tat when i blog.... tis is one of the place where i will be very truthful towards my feelings n everything.. truthful in a way if i know i wont cause any unhappiness to anyone.. but tis does not apply to u here... watever i say or type here i know it will affect u in one way or another to some extent.. well, mayb i tot highly of myself le ba... u might not even bothered at all but i rather treat it as u will... so i am feeling quite guilty towards u....
我要我自己坚强我知道我能做到
我就要活得比从前更好
123深呼吸就感觉这力量
叫做翅膀准备飞翔
我的想法很简单没有他们的复杂
我背负一个伟大的梦想
123深呼吸我呼吸爱的力量
学着让自己勇敢
can i really do it?? i know if i really do which means i haf move on & let go le... i know tat should be wat i am doing & the only way out for me but seriously i know deep inside me i dun wish to.. i dun wish to move on cause i know if i do, tat's it le... i know myself too well in tis aspect le.. when i really thk it thru tat time & decide to move on, i can be really 'heartless'...
well, heartless in a way like i can super dun care abt wat is happening to him at all... if he dun contact me, i will not take e initiative to at all... mayb its due to my character ba, i am jux too lazy... i am too used to being alone at times & quite enjoy the feeling.... ha... in tis aspect, i mus really apologise to my frenz... sorry for not contacting u guys most of the time, its not tat i haf forgotten abt u all but itx jus tat i am not used to doing tat ba.....
i jux realise today tat he gt read my blog... shit, i haf written alot of stupid things lo.. really alot alot & now i am also doing it again... really wonder how he felt while he read my blog nowadays?? will he feel hurt like last time, is the intensity the same or he is jux reading it wif a normal heart n mind.... if its e 1st one, den i muz apologise to him but i will feel happy to some extent... ha... cause i know i still haf a place in his heart even though its very small.... if its e latter, den i will feel....... wat a contradicting person i am....
i duno whether he will see tis entry or not but i will jux treat it he will ba... jux wanna tell u, dun feel guilty & upset when u see wat i haf blog here.. all along its never my intention to do tat when i blog.... tis is one of the place where i will be very truthful towards my feelings n everything.. truthful in a way if i know i wont cause any unhappiness to anyone.. but tis does not apply to u here... watever i say or type here i know it will affect u in one way or another to some extent.. well, mayb i tot highly of myself le ba... u might not even bothered at all but i rather treat it as u will... so i am feeling quite guilty towards u....
3 mths le... isit a coincidence?? today is geraldine darling b'day & last yr, tis is e day when we met up at her b'day party... i thk we haf tis special affinity wif no. 3 ba.. haha.. last mth on the 3rd, we went to genting but he is wif his own gang while i wif mine....
on my passport, i already haf 2 stamps dated 3rd of each mth.. 1 is in may n e other in july.. tml i may be getting another one also... sth happen to my grandfather in KL.. may need to go back there... still haven cfm anything yet, shall see wat my dad say ba... if i am really going, this will gonna be my 3rd stamp.....
there's alot of things i wanna say, wanna blog here but i know i cant.. sometimes things are meant to be kept a secret or urself.. its beta for u to be sad alone den cause unhappiness to others also.. its quite selfish in a way...
really love the lyrics of tis song...
我努力想起你笑着泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你哭也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
'失去'... am i qualified to use tis 2 words?? come to thk of it, i dun even haf the right to use tat cause in e 1st place he doesnt belongs to me at all....
on my passport, i already haf 2 stamps dated 3rd of each mth.. 1 is in may n e other in july.. tml i may be getting another one also... sth happen to my grandfather in KL.. may need to go back there... still haven cfm anything yet, shall see wat my dad say ba... if i am really going, this will gonna be my 3rd stamp.....
there's alot of things i wanna say, wanna blog here but i know i cant.. sometimes things are meant to be kept a secret or urself.. its beta for u to be sad alone den cause unhappiness to others also.. its quite selfish in a way...
really love the lyrics of tis song...
我努力想起你笑着泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你哭也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
'失去'... am i qualified to use tis 2 words?? come to thk of it, i dun even haf the right to use tat cause in e 1st place he doesnt belongs to me at all....
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
came back quite early today.. din go out wif teck in e end, last min sth cropped up at his side.. was quite surprised when he msg me n asked me out yest.. thk he muz be damn bored ba...
duno y, tis couple of days, my tots kp flashing back to e wk that we went to m'sia... if now was tat wk, wat am i doing n how i felt at tat pt... was reading thru my previous blog entries & my diary... the diary that contains all our memories in genting which i din post here...
actually, there are alot of posts tat i din post here.... its like a small secret space of mine, only meant for me to reminisce on the past n memories.... its also the most truthful thing cause i know wat i haf written will only be known by me... its not commercialise at all & i no need to scare tat wat i haf wrote will hurt or affect anyone in anyway except me.... so it will truly reflect how i felt at tat pt of time...
ever since writing it, i haven been going back to read it like how i used to read my blog... its like i haf forgotten all abt it le... its like it has been carefully hidden at some secret corner of my comp...... i am glad tat i actually record all those memories somewhere cause it further affirms tat all tis did happened... 1st time ever since the trip tat i felt wat had happened is so real.. all e minor details, how i felt during tat pt of time... everything is there.... there to remind me how fortunate & 'xin fu' i felt at tat pt of time.... even at genting, i am also not feeling how i feel now... its really very diff...... i jux duno how to describe it.... all e things tat happened there, all the pictures & details starts flashing thru my mind while i was reading it...
as usual, i......... haiz... isit because i am sad??? duno lei... mayb its because i know time wont go back for me anymore ba.. things only happened once in a lifetime, there's no rewind button...
aft reading wat i haf wrote, i realise i am actually very fortunate... i dun regret going there wif him... even though it does bring me alot of pain, unhappiness & sadness aft tat but it all worthwhile....
duno y, tis couple of days, my tots kp flashing back to e wk that we went to m'sia... if now was tat wk, wat am i doing n how i felt at tat pt... was reading thru my previous blog entries & my diary... the diary that contains all our memories in genting which i din post here...
actually, there are alot of posts tat i din post here.... its like a small secret space of mine, only meant for me to reminisce on the past n memories.... its also the most truthful thing cause i know wat i haf written will only be known by me... its not commercialise at all & i no need to scare tat wat i haf wrote will hurt or affect anyone in anyway except me.... so it will truly reflect how i felt at tat pt of time...
ever since writing it, i haven been going back to read it like how i used to read my blog... its like i haf forgotten all abt it le... its like it has been carefully hidden at some secret corner of my comp...... i am glad tat i actually record all those memories somewhere cause it further affirms tat all tis did happened... 1st time ever since the trip tat i felt wat had happened is so real.. all e minor details, how i felt during tat pt of time... everything is there.... there to remind me how fortunate & 'xin fu' i felt at tat pt of time.... even at genting, i am also not feeling how i feel now... its really very diff...... i jux duno how to describe it.... all e things tat happened there, all the pictures & details starts flashing thru my mind while i was reading it...
as usual, i......... haiz... isit because i am sad??? duno lei... mayb its because i know time wont go back for me anymore ba.. things only happened once in a lifetime, there's no rewind button...
aft reading wat i haf wrote, i realise i am actually very fortunate... i dun regret going there wif him... even though it does bring me alot of pain, unhappiness & sadness aft tat but it all worthwhile....
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