been listening to tis song '深呼吸' tis couple of days.. really hope i can do wat the lyrics say...

我要我自己坚强我知道我能做到
我就要活得比从前更好
123深呼吸就感觉这力量
叫做翅膀准备飞翔
我的想法很简单没有他们的复杂
我背负一个伟大的梦想
123深呼吸我呼吸爱的力量
学着让自己勇敢

can i really do it?? i know if i really do which means i haf move on & let go le... i know tat should be wat i am doing & the only way out for me but seriously i know deep inside me i dun wish to.. i dun wish to move on cause i know if i do, tat's it le... i know myself too well in tis aspect le.. when i really thk it thru tat time & decide to move on, i can be really 'heartless'...

well, heartless in a way like i can super dun care abt wat is happening to him at all... if he dun contact me, i will not take e initiative to at all... mayb its due to my character ba, i am jux too lazy... i am too used to being alone at times & quite enjoy the feeling.... ha... in tis aspect, i mus really apologise to my frenz... sorry for not contacting u guys most of the time, its not tat i haf forgotten abt u all but itx jus tat i am not used to doing tat ba.....

i jux realise today tat he gt read my blog... shit, i haf written alot of stupid things lo.. really alot alot & now i am also doing it again... really wonder how he felt while he read my blog nowadays?? will he feel hurt like last time, is the intensity the same or he is jux reading it wif a normal heart n mind.... if its e 1st one, den i muz apologise to him but i will feel happy to some extent... ha... cause i know i still haf a place in his heart even though its very small.... if its e latter, den i will feel....... wat a contradicting person i am....

i duno whether he will see tis entry or not but i will jux treat it he will ba... jux wanna tell u, dun feel guilty & upset when u see wat i haf blog here.. all along its never my intention to do tat when i blog.... tis is one of the place where i will be very truthful towards my feelings n everything.. truthful in a way if i know i wont cause any unhappiness to anyone.. but tis does not apply to u here... watever i say or type here i know it will affect u in one way or another to some extent.. well, mayb i tot highly of myself le ba... u might not even bothered at all but i rather treat it as u will... so i am feeling quite guilty towards u....