that's wat i hope i can but i know i cant~~~~~

everything sort of like go back to normal.. i am not scare of coming home earlier for fear that i will anyhow thk when i am alone inside my room.. for the past mths, i am scare to come back home early cause when i am alone in my room, facing the comp, coming here to blog, all the memories in e past will come n haunt me & 'stab' my heart... tat is y i always go out until very late cause when i reach home the only thing i wan to do is slp.... will be too drained out to thk...

i know tat's an ostrich way to run away from problems... come to thk back, i am really very stupid rite.. haha... well, things are always better said den done... but now, i can tell u guys, i am fine already..... everything has been carefully hidden at some corner... i am back to my old self, who is damn boring & no life.. haha.. rather slack n rot at home den go out n haf fun... its damn tiring la... i rather enjoy the time alone & not bother anyone nor let anyone bother me.... i am jux a loner la.. dun like others to intrude my life & let others do tat unless.......

haha... but now there wont be any unless in e recent month to come.... i jux wan to lead a carefree life, not thking abt those complex thing.. practically, i jux dun wan to use my brain to thk anymore.. its damn tiring & i thk i have killed alot of my brain cells for e past few mths.. should let em rest n 're-born'... who says its bad to be a bim.... ha.....

haven seen him for almost 2 mths... well, tat might be one of the reason behind my change n back to the old self ba... there's tis saying, time is e best healer in tis world.. well, i totally agree wif it... time is wat we both needed at that pt of time... fate plays an impt part also.. there are alot of time when we are supposed to meet but things will jux crops up at the last min.... thk heaven jux dun wan us to meet ba cause its not the time yet for both of us... tot abt genting.. the place is not really big & i did saw him there but i duno y at tat time, i jux din go n call him & i even gave him the wrong no to my room... tis is kinda of strange rite... tat's fate, so strange n incredible..... not forgetting, so uncontrollable.....

it might not be a bad thing tat we din haf a gd chat over there... things might not be e same now if we did or we might use a shorter time to reach tis stage.. well, i duno.. since everything is not going to go back to the past anymore, no pt thinking abt the things tat will not be realised also rite.. there's jux so much possiblities.... wat i know is & am sure abt is all those things tat i wanna say at tat pt will be kept inside my heart.... it will not be said nor mention anymore... i will jux occassionally thk abt it & ponder over it..... tat's not a bad thing after all rite??

jux go n play a game.. the results are...

你不輕易吃醋，因爲你認爲愛情是你的就是你的，不是你的強留也沒用，所以你對感情不會採取纏 人盯人的態度。雖然你還是會有些心酸酸的感覺，但你覺得每個成年人都該對自己的行爲負責，不需用言語和行爲來制裁。這種理智的態度，可能會讓愛人覺得你不夠愛他，頻頻以各種假感情真動作，測試你的忍耐極限。
建議你在必要時應該表現一下你的吃醋情緒。

ha... even the test say i am too rational already.... rational or leave it to fate is more appropriate lei?? its quite true tat i dun wish to restrict & ask abt alot of things.. even if i ask i also will only ask once... it all boils down to trust... i still believe some things are meant not be be asked n said out.. so everyone should haf their secrets n privacy... if u need to use restriction, be it for love or frenship or anything, den i thk maintaining & having tis type of r/s is quite redundant.... at tis pt of time, tat's how i thk la.. mayb in a few yrs down the road i might thk differently......