was very busy today.. woke up quite early cause going to e market wif mummy to get the ingredient for yam paste.. yest had already finish peeling the ginko.. peel until hand super pain but tat's not the worse part.. the worse thing happen today..

as you guys know, we cant touch yam wif our bare hand cause the juice or duno wat will make us itchy.. thus i use glove but it din help at all... it took me super long to finish peeling n cutting it.. but the most draining thing comes later.. its the mashing process.. cause i dun haf a blender so muz do everything using my own hand.. i took more den 2.5 hours to finish mashing the whole thing.. mux be wondering why i took so long rite.. cause i wan to make it soft n smooth.. tis needs time n STRENGTH.. guess if i kp doing tis, i will haf a 'xiao lao shu' soon.. hehe..

aft tat, still haf to stir fry it & cook the ginko.. only managed to finish everything ard 4 plus.. wa.. next time rather buy at dessert store den cook it again..

today is a special day.. i haf stepped into my singlehood for EXACTLY 2 yrs.. where's my cake wif the candles??? hehe.. time flies... 2 yrs... wat haf i achieved tis 2 yrs?? gt into UNI, becoming fatter, complexion becoming worse... haha.. okok.. tat's the physical thing which everyone knows.. as for those things tat ppl duno, some i also duno myself.. ppl always say tat when u grow older, u get to know urself beta.. well, tat doesnt seems to apply to me at all.. i become more n more unfathomable.. sometimes i also duno wat i am feeling is true or a feeling tat i convince myself i mux feel at tat pt of time.. cause tat's supposedly the 'right' one..

really dun understand wat i wan more n more.. felt like a stranger.. becoming more n more like a old woman also.. kp slacking n rotting at home.. well, let's hope when i start working, i will start to behave n live like an energetic young woman once again.. super mono lifestyle now.. i need some color n spices in my life.. everything seem so black n white.. ( should say its more like black for me )

i wanna go on a vacation to find myself back.. i thk i haf lost it le ba.. gotta find it back soon.. felt lost at times, duno wat i wan in my life n duno whether tat's the true me, sitting here typing... its so scary... isit because of the society tat cause me to behave tis way or isit because of wat i went thru?? i am like closing myself up from others, dun wan to contact anyone tis days.. wan to distance from others... i felt tat human being can be very scary, u duno wat they are thking.. u duno whether they are true to u or not.. u duno whether they treat u the way because they are sincere or because they haf other motives.. & its very tiring to go n guess or analyse their actual intention.. i really feel very tired wif all tis 'games'... guess i am really a lazy bum....

was looking thru my docomo pic last yr.. quite sad tat tis yr i cant be working there.. argh.. its so fun working there, esp when u can touch n play wif all the lastest handset from japan & get to know their new technology.. not to mention their pay.. argh~~ why did i screw up tat interview!!!