我想要说- 演奏版

it has been 4 wks.. 4 wks back i am at genting where everything started.. everything that i never dreamt of happened... during tis 4 wks, my life is like on a roller coaster ride.. so much has happened... i haf never ever went thru so much things b4 in my life within such a short time.. i haf never blog so much in my entire 2 yrs of blogging... i always ask myself tis qns... am i dreaming?? if yes, den why my heart is feeling so painful.. its so vivid, so intense, so unbearable....

even until now, the trip still seems so unreal to me... its doesnt seems like it only happened 4 wks back... it seems so long... it doesnt seems like a 'fresh' memory... i will ask myself isit a wrong move for me to go there.... i really duno... if i din go, things wont haf happened & we wont be feeling so painful now... but if i din go, there will not be any memories for us at all...

the weather is jux like how i felt today.. stormy & gloomy.. aft sending jean off, i went to the park near my house.. walked ard the park, walk along the route we used to walk.. finally, i sat there alone listening to my mp3... listening to all the songs tat are related to us.... tot abt the genting trip & abt wat happened during tis 4 wks... thk abt wat i should do from now on.... thk abt the trouble & misery i brought upon him.... thk abt how selfish i am... thk abt alot of things.....

wat should i do now to lessen his misery?? will he be better off w/o me in his life at all?? will he be happier??