i cant conc at all today.. damn pissed n pek cek wif myself.. i am letting my emotions ruling everything now... i jux cant keep my cool & conc.... my mind will be drifting, thking about wats happening instead.... i am losing it & tis is bad....

no matter wat happened, i'll always try my best to rationalise things out so tat eventually i'll be able to weigh n place my priority properly.... but now, esp today i cant...... jean saw everything.... she was there tis 2 wks n seeing how i haf changed... last wk, even though i was damn bothered n upset abt sth tat happened b/w me n a close frenz, i can still managed to kp my cool & study.... now, things are so diff....

wat he said & do makes a lot of difference to me.. are things changing w/o us noticing?? cause today his tone is like so diff from normal days & wat he said is like a sword tat pierce thru my heart..... pain, really very pain.... well, mayb i am jux too vulnerable n sensitive le.... it may jux be a casual remark on his side... guess mayb he oso duno wat he said n do has such a big impact on me... jux wanna say tat i really care abt how he feel n thk even now... i dun wan him to feel unhappy & upset over wat i did cause its never my intention to make him feel tat way when i do sth... sometimes i can be very insensitive abt my actions & words & hurt someone w/o me realising cause on my part, i thk tat wat i did are very normal & acceptable but it may not be tat case to others..

feel like going on a vacation aft my exams.. i need a break from alot of things... i need to go somewhere to sort out my tots completely....