woke up at 8 cause need to go to a tender interview wif my dad at sentosa cove.. very very long never step into sentosa & tis time round, i am stepping into somewhere tat i haf never went b4.. its so diff.. all along i know there are bangalow n condo inside of sentosa but when u go in there its really damn diff... how i wish i own one of the bangalow there.. argh... den everyday i can jux relax by e beach n go for a stroll wif my love one there.. haha.. really dreaming...

aft that i went to great world n study there.. din msg him when i reached there cause i dun wan to disturb him... wanted to do alot of things for him cause i scare aft tis time round there wont be anymore chance le.. duno y, i believe tat things will change aft his trip to HK.. duno its him or its me... i scare when he is not ard, i will build up my walls unknowingly & let my rational endeavour my feelings towards him..... so i wan to do everything i can at tis pt of time for him when i still wan to n still can... so all along i kp thking tis might be our last meeting when we still haf feelings for each other....

but i did it again... i said things that hurt him once again... i am always doing tis, hurting the person tat i really care... shit me rite.. i even said he is selfish... thk tis is the 1st time tat i said sth so harsh to him... jux wat's wrong wif me.. y am i always making him angry & upset... hate myself... e last thing i wan is to disturb him n affect his mood at work but thk i did both today.. i am such a......... argh... duno how to describe oso...

studied there until 9 n he sent me back specially.. dun feel like letting go his hand, cause i scare i will haf no chance to hold onto it anymore.. i seriously duno wat will happen during tis few days.. weird rite, i myself duno how i will change.. actually deep inside of me, i am really scare that i myself will change cause i dun wish to.. i dun wan to tell him abt tat in e 1st place cause i wan him to enjoy his trip there but den..... i thk if i dun tell him how i feel, it will be unfair to him if i really change suddenly & b4 tat i already knew i might...

really enjoy his company n the journey back home... but he said he feel very fan looking at me... sad case... haha.. worse thing is he said i very FAT now n kp pinching my face... even sadder case... haha... dun care, i die die will n MUST slim down until my ideal weight within a mth.... by den, i will fulfil the dare he dare me... haha....