jux checked my email & was really surprised to see his email b4 he left for HK... tell u guys sth, i dun checked my email frequently.. & tis frequently can mean more den half a yr.... so tis email can be left unseen even aft he comes back from HK if i din go & check today.....

was really surprised by his call yest nite... never expect he will call me cause he say he din bring his phone over.. was already on my way to 'la la land' when he called cause i am damn tired from the long & straining day... quite happy to hear from him & realise tat i do miss him.... in fact, i miss him very much.... b4 he called, the feeling of missing him is not as strong as e previous day le.. so i tot everything might die out eventually... tat's also the thing that i may afraid of.....

all along, i tot tis period might be a time when we might jux changed cause we cant contact each other & might realise tat it is not as painful as we tot to let everything go since we can still carry on living normally... esp when he is abroad n its a change of environment so things might not be as hard as we tot..... as for me, i might jux get used to not having him ard me or should i say deep inside me, i am scare tat he might change.... how should i say?? mayb in HK he might jux realise tat he can do w/o me, having me ard or not doesnt really matter to him anymore.. he might felt even happier cause all along, i am like his source of trouble....

so subconsciously, i am seeing tis as the period when couple break up & need to adapt back to when they are single.. i wan to minimise the pain n prepare myself for e worse scenario, at least in tis way, when things really happened i wont feel tat painful... am i jux thking too much n being too paranoid?? mayb..... well, i thk tis is jux a self-deceiving thingy.. haha... no matter wat, i thk i will still feel the pain if things really doesnt turn out as i wish & the intensity of it will be e same... so its really quite redundant for me to go n 'prepare' myself now.... so i shall leave it to destiny now.. dun wan to thk anymore....

feeling damn down cause of my stupid complexion now.. things are getting from bad to worse n its really affecting my mood.. i know its the exam stress tat causes the major breakout but den when isit going to end!!!! my exams is like ending in another 3 days but i thk my complexion wont get any better for e next few wks & tis is really really damn sickening... tis couple of days i am so pek cek abt it until i jux wan to stay at home n dun wan to go out at all... u can imagine how bad it is lo....



heard tis song when i was watching '200 pound beauty' wif jean, qc & billy.. it was a very nice n touching show.. i love the song in e movie.. although i duno wat it means but den its really very nice... to me, its sounds very touching & damn sad... mayb because i watched the show or mayb that's e way i feel now....