waiting for my hair to get dry now b4 getting 4 hr of slp cause gonna meet jean darling to study in e lib later on....

yeat i gt cock up again lo.. really duno wat i am thking n duno y i am being so sensitive la.. hate myself..... i know i shouldnt be angry but i jux cant help it la.... i duno i am angry or jux pek cek... argh... so confusing.... so contradicting...... but i really wish tat he was there wif me......

i meet clarence at woodlands & went down to town together.. aft having dinner at wheellock, we went down to zouk.. it was still early n there's not much crowd... beginning to feel very sian when i stepped in there.. thk i am really sian n too old for clubbing le.. i prefer sitting down n chilling out now... dun feel like drking oso... duno wat's wrong wif me... jux no mood totally......

in e end, i went into the dance floor only for like 15 min den i stepped out of it le.. went to velvet wif clarence in e end.... rather sit there n rot den stand inside phuture lo.... at one pt i even feel like going back home n slp... haha... we tok abt quite alot of stuffs n i realise that he really changed alot alot.. the africa trip really create a super big impact on him... his perception, his thking n alot of things changed.. even geraldine thks tat way too...... he is more responsible & i can see he is changing for e beta.......

duno y we tok abt the dice game n he suggest we go elsewhere to chill n play dice... so we go down to chinatown there but the place is closed... den we took a cab n went to the party world at e other side of chinatown.. damn stupid rite.. ya i know.. ha.. when we reached, they told us tat its closing soon n tell us to go to the shenton way one which will close only at 6.... so..... we took another cab to go down.... theres only one word to describe us... "crazy"......

never tot tat we will go sing ktv together cause all along i know he is not a ktv person & tis time round, he is e one suggesting it so i am more shock.. my voice is super jia lat from all e shouting inside velvet.. cant really sing... so we play dice in e end, he was damn pissed off by me.. shouldn elaborate on tat else he will say i am being mean again.... i tot geraldine darling will be joining us but in e end, she went back home instead.... sorry dear, i dun mean to pang se u one.. i am really damn sian abt staying there n move my body ah.. too tired n old to do it like last time ...

we stayed there & sing until 6 or should i say play dice until 6 cause most of the time we were listening to songs instead of singing... when everything ended, we took a cab back to wlds for breakfast... its e 1st time i go sing ktv until so EARLY..... wa.... really can die ah.. esp later, i mus go n study... cui.....

haiz... how i wish now is like 2 wks back.... now, i am like on e bus going to genting.... how i wish i can turn back time...... argh~~ so pek cek now..... how come so many things can happened within 2 wks.... dun wan to thk abt it le... very tired.... recently, i cant differentiate b/w reality n dream.. wat is real & wat is unreal... its not jux all abt my r/s stuffs, its abt my whole life.... mayb the saying that life is a dream is true........ everything seems so unreal now... i cant seem to hold on to anything... i also duno wat i feel now is real or not... seems so stupid rite.... i, myself duno wat i am feeling..... jux how bad can tis get??