went to shu's house 2 celeb our X'mas.. haha.. it has been like a routine ever since last yr.. but tis time round, lesser ppl went for e party.. my contribution to e party is the oreo cheesecake that i learnt recently.. but it taste very very nice lo.. haha..
me n HIM took a cab down to shu's house at 6 plus.. we were e earliest to reach there n were stuck outside e gate cox Ms ah shu din on her phone.. it is more like a gathering at shu's house rather den a X'mas party.. there is no X'mas feel lei.. mayb no trees n stuff la.. haha.. but its quite enjoyable..
during e X'mas gift exchange, everyone was so afraid to get jackson's n andy's present la.. coz of their past yr record, their present is really very ultimate one lo.. but tis yr, jackson's gift is one of e best lo.. e most jia lat one is Teck's gift, which is a Bratz doll.. haha.. e most funny part is andy gt it lo.. haha..
ah ma, steph, andy n jackson went home at 3.. left e others staying in shu's house to rot.. in e end, we slp at her living room until tis morning.. den i took train wif kaixiang while He took a bus home..
shu they all ask me wat is our r/s.. frankly speaking, i oso duno wat exactly n where do we stand.. its like so blur n weird.. more den frenz but duno couple or not... well, i thk at tis moment, it doesnt really matter oso..
Monday, December 26, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
ha.. finally back from Genting le.. quite a diff experience den the previous trip.. coz tis time round gt company there ( philip, alvin n edward ) & i went into e Casino.. a place i never went in during ALL my previous trip there..
the 1st nite, they came over to play n brought beer.. as i was on medication, my forfeit is to drk water.. so tat nite, i am e most sober person in e room n oso e most healthy one.. haha.. but i miss getting tipsy n high sia.. duno when den can start drking again.. hehe..
e 2nd nite they all went to slp aft coming over to my room n play Uno.. My mum wanted to treat em for cheesecake n coffee one but they din stay n went back le.. So left our family there to eat n enjoy the nite breeze n mist.. haha.. we went back to our room at 1 plus as it was getting colder n colder le.. me n my mum den went to e Casino..
it was an eye opener for me lo.. quite different from wat i expect it to be.. me n my mum stayed up the whole nite playing n seeing others play there.. haha.. e 2 of us jux went round n round the Casino.. hehe.. quite fun la.. mus tell those who will be going there the 1st time, there is really such thing as beginner luck one lo.. cox it happened to me.. haha..
e whole trip was quite fun n nice except for e bus ride back.. it was really disatrous lo.. the ventilation of e bus was damn bad n it was filled wif e cigarette smell lo.. me n my mum felt damn uncomfortable n nearly took a cab back at e midway of the mountain stop lo..
tis incident let me see e other side of a 'fren'.. instead of helping us out, he jux let me n my mum fend for ourself n continue buying his stuff there.. when i said i need to make a call, he din even offer to lend me his hp n walked away despite knowing i dun haf any auto roaming service.. aft all tis, he din even ask whether we are feeling beta or wat afterward lo.. really damn ungentleman lo..
the 1st nite, they came over to play n brought beer.. as i was on medication, my forfeit is to drk water.. so tat nite, i am e most sober person in e room n oso e most healthy one.. haha.. but i miss getting tipsy n high sia.. duno when den can start drking again.. hehe..
e 2nd nite they all went to slp aft coming over to my room n play Uno.. My mum wanted to treat em for cheesecake n coffee one but they din stay n went back le.. So left our family there to eat n enjoy the nite breeze n mist.. haha.. we went back to our room at 1 plus as it was getting colder n colder le.. me n my mum den went to e Casino..
it was an eye opener for me lo.. quite different from wat i expect it to be.. me n my mum stayed up the whole nite playing n seeing others play there.. haha.. e 2 of us jux went round n round the Casino.. hehe.. quite fun la.. mus tell those who will be going there the 1st time, there is really such thing as beginner luck one lo.. cox it happened to me.. haha..
e whole trip was quite fun n nice except for e bus ride back.. it was really disatrous lo.. the ventilation of e bus was damn bad n it was filled wif e cigarette smell lo.. me n my mum felt damn uncomfortable n nearly took a cab back at e midway of the mountain stop lo..
tis incident let me see e other side of a 'fren'.. instead of helping us out, he jux let me n my mum fend for ourself n continue buying his stuff there.. when i said i need to make a call, he din even offer to lend me his hp n walked away despite knowing i dun haf any auto roaming service.. aft all tis, he din even ask whether we are feeling beta or wat afterward lo.. really damn ungentleman lo..
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
my shoulder haf been feeling very pain since sun aft the Sentosa trip wif the JC gang.. thk i really underestimate the mighty SUN le.. as it was a cloudy day, i felt that putting on suntan lotion is really redundant, so i jux din apply anything.. AND the results is, e red n burning shoulder~~
den tis 2 days had been feeling quite upset regarding the genting trip thing.. jux some misunderstands n there is no argument at all but i duno y e other party told e others we had an argument lo.. that made me even sian n upset lo.. dun understand y he had to do tis lo..
went out wif Mummy n Sis to Orchard.. going out to haf some fresh air is beta den cooping myself at home.. went to eat at Fei Cui, the HK style one.. today i din quench my craving for Xiao Long Bao again.. when den can i eat my Xiao Long Bao????
Sun is e day i broke up wif him for 6 mths.. well, time really flies lo.. We broke up for more den 6 mths now le.. If we are still together, den our 26 mth anniversary will be coming soon le... But we still meet each other almost every wk now n he will sms me almost everyday.. Like ah ma, my lovelife now is really complicated n messy ah..
den tis 2 days had been feeling quite upset regarding the genting trip thing.. jux some misunderstands n there is no argument at all but i duno y e other party told e others we had an argument lo.. that made me even sian n upset lo.. dun understand y he had to do tis lo..
went out wif Mummy n Sis to Orchard.. going out to haf some fresh air is beta den cooping myself at home.. went to eat at Fei Cui, the HK style one.. today i din quench my craving for Xiao Long Bao again.. when den can i eat my Xiao Long Bao????
Sun is e day i broke up wif him for 6 mths.. well, time really flies lo.. We broke up for more den 6 mths now le.. If we are still together, den our 26 mth anniversary will be coming soon le... But we still meet each other almost every wk now n he will sms me almost everyday.. Like ah ma, my lovelife now is really complicated n messy ah..
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
wanted to update my blog yest one but kena d/c.. hehe.. den lazy to type again le..
well, today is a special day.. its HIS b'day.. jux like last yr i cant celeb it wif him on e actual day.. but tis yr is more special, coz i am celeb it for him as a fren instead.. tis is e 2nd time i did it as a fren ba.. the 1st time is in 2002.. come to thk of it, tis is e 4th yr that i am celeb wif him le..
went to sch for PBF today.. aft e lect, my head was abt to explode lo.. really super saturated wif all e pts n new info taught.. haiz.. den went to cwp n had dinner wif wilson they all.. wanted to go supper wif my mum one.. but she dun gif face.. haha..
HE called me n we chatted on e phone.. our r/s now is really weird n complicated.. duno how to explain.. now jux feel like going to club soon.. looking forward to e SIM bash next wk.. hope can haf alot of fun wif ah ma n wanyui.. hehe.. let's havoc n dance till we drop babes..
well, today is a special day.. its HIS b'day.. jux like last yr i cant celeb it wif him on e actual day.. but tis yr is more special, coz i am celeb it for him as a fren instead.. tis is e 2nd time i did it as a fren ba.. the 1st time is in 2002.. come to thk of it, tis is e 4th yr that i am celeb wif him le..
went to sch for PBF today.. aft e lect, my head was abt to explode lo.. really super saturated wif all e pts n new info taught.. haiz.. den went to cwp n had dinner wif wilson they all.. wanted to go supper wif my mum one.. but she dun gif face.. haha..
HE called me n we chatted on e phone.. our r/s now is really weird n complicated.. duno how to explain.. now jux feel like going to club soon.. looking forward to e SIM bash next wk.. hope can haf alot of fun wif ah ma n wanyui.. hehe.. let's havoc n dance till we drop babes..
Friday, December 02, 2005
i went study wif alvin at e Lib today.. aft sch we went for lunch at e bukit timah hawker centre.. den went home slack for a while n went to e Lib le..
we went to book a 2 hr slot to study inside the RESEARCH CARREL.. haha.. never heard of it b4 rite.. it is a small 'room' for research purpose using their reference book.. as i am a very HARDWORKING n need to refer to e books, we are able to study in that 'room'.. haha..
sth amazing happened today, mr alvin din slack at e Lib, he did study for <2hrs.. tis is reall a miracle lo.. normally during his Lin trip, he will either be reading comics or slping.. as for me, well, progress is not really gd lo.. only manage to finish a few pages of e reference book.. haiz.. econs is really 'killing me softly'~~~
oh, i gt my PBF textbook today.. super lucky coz when i went there they only left wif ONE last copy.. on top of that, i din reserve for the book lo.. haha.. my frenz who had reserve <2 color="#66cccc">SIGNAl, a signal to ask me to start studying n revising.. hehe..
we went to book a 2 hr slot to study inside the RESEARCH CARREL.. haha.. never heard of it b4 rite.. it is a small 'room' for research purpose using their reference book.. as i am a very HARDWORKING n need to refer to e books, we are able to study in that 'room'.. haha..
sth amazing happened today, mr alvin din slack at e Lib, he did study for <2hrs.. tis is reall a miracle lo.. normally during his Lin trip, he will either be reading comics or slping.. as for me, well, progress is not really gd lo.. only manage to finish a few pages of e reference book.. haiz.. econs is really 'killing me softly'~~~
oh, i gt my PBF textbook today.. super lucky coz when i went there they only left wif ONE last copy.. on top of that, i din reserve for the book lo.. haha.. my frenz who had reserve <2 color="#66cccc">SIGNAl, a signal to ask me to start studying n revising.. hehe..
Thursday, December 01, 2005
jux came back from my jogging session.. super long never run le.. now feel SUPER tired lo.. haha.. but its really cool to sweat..
other den that, i oso went for a 'test' ride wif my dad.. coz i not really familiar wif his car & driving on e road is VERY DIFF from the driving stuff u learn at BBDC.. esp the parking part.. now i still duno when to turn n stuff lo.. haiz.. duno when can i go out wif supper driving on my own w/o help ah..
recently, the study mood came back liao.. hehe.. thking of going to NATIONAL LIB on fri.. anyone interested to go together?? hehe.. guess its time to start my revision oso liao ba.. left ard half a yr to my test but less den 3 mths for all e lect to end..
other den that, i oso went for a 'test' ride wif my dad.. coz i not really familiar wif his car & driving on e road is VERY DIFF from the driving stuff u learn at BBDC.. esp the parking part.. now i still duno when to turn n stuff lo.. haiz.. duno when can i go out wif supper driving on my own w/o help ah..
recently, the study mood came back liao.. hehe.. thking of going to NATIONAL LIB on fri.. anyone interested to go together?? hehe.. guess its time to start my revision oso liao ba.. left ard half a yr to my test but less den 3 mths for all e lect to end..
Saturday, November 26, 2005
went to e kanebo makeover thing wif ah ma today.. 1st time doing makeover lo, din know that it will turn out to be so 'wayang' lo.. i go prom oso wont draw until like that sia.. really feel like crying ah.. haha.. from now on, i will never buy BLUE eyeshadow lo.. but makeup is really amazing lo.. they really conceal my pimples until it cant be seen at all.. it was AMAZING
e whole process lasted for more den 2 hrs lo.. really a mental torture sia, esp i din had breakfast n lunch.. rite aft the whole thing, me n ah ma were like starving like siao lo.. we din wait for 'ah kai' -- kai xiang, n go haf our dinner at cystal jade... miss eating the xiao long bao lo.. very long never eat liao.. hehe..
i bought the b'day gift for HIM.. n bought a compact powder n illuminating powder for myself.. haha.. like that i spend more den 100 bucks today liao.. haiz.. next week muz live on bread liao lo.. die.. damn broke now sia.. haiz.. aft dinner we went to meet ah ma's fren, serene.. we continue to walk ard orchard n went back home at 9 plus le..
e whole process lasted for more den 2 hrs lo.. really a mental torture sia, esp i din had breakfast n lunch.. rite aft the whole thing, me n ah ma were like starving like siao lo.. we din wait for 'ah kai' -- kai xiang, n go haf our dinner at cystal jade... miss eating the xiao long bao lo.. very long never eat liao.. hehe..
i bought the b'day gift for HIM.. n bought a compact powder n illuminating powder for myself.. haha.. like that i spend more den 100 bucks today liao.. haiz.. next week muz live on bread liao lo.. die.. damn broke now sia.. haiz.. aft dinner we went to meet ah ma's fren, serene.. we continue to walk ard orchard n went back home at 9 plus le..
Friday, November 25, 2005
i gt 2nd for the duet category during the talentime wif alvin.. but i din win anything 4 my solo one.. hehe.. i reached the Lt for e rehearsal at 130pm.. den stay on n play ard wif em until 5 plus den go for my dinner.. feeling super hungry lo.. hehe..
i was e 1st contestants.. duno is heng or wat, when the whole event was abt to start.. there was a power failure.. waited for more den half an hr part of e electricity came back but the speaker gt pro lo.. in e end, we had to sing w/o e mike n music.. machiam unplugged lo.. hehe..
i sing the wrong key n need to re-sing again lo.. argh~~ so pai seh.. haha.. luckily e whole Lt is very dark.. but singing unplugged in that kind of atmosphere is really damn nice lo.. w/o the mike quite alot of contestants muz change song last min.. quite alot of contestants whom i tot will win din get anything at e end.. abit sad for em lo.. haiz..
coz there is no music, so while singing the duet, alvin n i muz count the beat n sing together.. thk we count till too obvious liao la.. the audience n judges were all laughing lo.. but den i thk we did a really great job n it was really fun la.. haha.. had alot of fun n know alot of frenz during this events.. din regret joining this comp lo.. hehe..
aft e thing ended, e 3 of us, ( ah ma, me n wanyu) get a free ride from alvin to e bukit timah prata place there.. we tok abt alot of things lo.. haha.. thk ah ma cause a small huha in my sch yest.. she 'electrify' quite alot of guys.. hehe.. we eat until 12 den took a cab back.. feeling super tired lo.. tis few days din catch much slp.. hehe..
been super duper busy tis wk.. gotta work on mon, den gt TP on tue, went to practise for our duet on wed den yest whole day in sch for sch n talentime.. tml still going wif ah ma to e kanebo makeover thing.. haha.. haven been tis busy for so long le.. but tis is really a very exciting n fruitful week for me.. :)
i was e 1st contestants.. duno is heng or wat, when the whole event was abt to start.. there was a power failure.. waited for more den half an hr part of e electricity came back but the speaker gt pro lo.. in e end, we had to sing w/o e mike n music.. machiam unplugged lo.. hehe..
i sing the wrong key n need to re-sing again lo.. argh~~ so pai seh.. haha.. luckily e whole Lt is very dark.. but singing unplugged in that kind of atmosphere is really damn nice lo.. w/o the mike quite alot of contestants muz change song last min.. quite alot of contestants whom i tot will win din get anything at e end.. abit sad for em lo.. haiz..
coz there is no music, so while singing the duet, alvin n i muz count the beat n sing together.. thk we count till too obvious liao la.. the audience n judges were all laughing lo.. but den i thk we did a really great job n it was really fun la.. haha.. had alot of fun n know alot of frenz during this events.. din regret joining this comp lo.. hehe..
aft e thing ended, e 3 of us, ( ah ma, me n wanyu) get a free ride from alvin to e bukit timah prata place there.. we tok abt alot of things lo.. haha.. thk ah ma cause a small huha in my sch yest.. she 'electrify' quite alot of guys.. hehe.. we eat until 12 den took a cab back.. feeling super tired lo.. tis few days din catch much slp.. hehe..
been super duper busy tis wk.. gotta work on mon, den gt TP on tue, went to practise for our duet on wed den yest whole day in sch for sch n talentime.. tml still going wif ah ma to e kanebo makeover thing.. haha.. haven been tis busy for so long le.. but tis is really a very exciting n fruitful week for me.. :)
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
i got my PRECIOUS license..
haha.. yes, i pass my TP today.. finally i did it lo.. it was such a mental torturing thing that lasted more den a yr for me.. coz i kp on draggin not to go for my 3rd TP.. scare of failure once again..
haven been slping well yest.. kp on waking up in e middle of e nite, gues i am too nervous le ba.. the weather today was not very gd for a TP day lo.. feeling quite down when i woke up today n saw that it was drizzling lo.. den it worsen when i reached BBDC.. deep down inside i prepared to ' YMCA' ( You Must Come Again ) liao.. haha..
but luckily due to e prepared to die mentality, i am not that nervous while driving.. in e circuit i already lose 2 major pt le coz i strike kerb n pole.. really tot i failed liao lo.. so when e TP tester told me to go down for the video briefing i was like 'huh?? wat he means??" den i realise that it means i pass.. coz only the ppl who pass can go for e briefing.. i was in shock lo, n double cfm wif him.. haha.. really cant imagine how my expression was like ??
i jux know that i cant help but keeping on smiling on my way out of e room.. thk those ppl outside waiting for e test muz haf tot i went bonkers liao.. hehe.. called my mum immediately den called my dad.. super duper happy lo.. haha.. nearly burst out in tears sia.. i am not exaggerating lo.. the feelings of getting e license finally aft so many failure n spent so much money is really.......... well, hard to explain la.. haha...
finally can bring my mum out for supper as n when she likes liao.. gonna bring her out for e cripsy prata at thomson real soon.. hehe..
haven been slping well yest.. kp on waking up in e middle of e nite, gues i am too nervous le ba.. the weather today was not very gd for a TP day lo.. feeling quite down when i woke up today n saw that it was drizzling lo.. den it worsen when i reached BBDC.. deep down inside i prepared to ' YMCA' ( You Must Come Again ) liao.. haha..
but luckily due to e prepared to die mentality, i am not that nervous while driving.. in e circuit i already lose 2 major pt le coz i strike kerb n pole.. really tot i failed liao lo.. so when e TP tester told me to go down for the video briefing i was like 'huh?? wat he means??" den i realise that it means i pass.. coz only the ppl who pass can go for e briefing.. i was in shock lo, n double cfm wif him.. haha.. really cant imagine how my expression was like ??
i jux know that i cant help but keeping on smiling on my way out of e room.. thk those ppl outside waiting for e test muz haf tot i went bonkers liao.. hehe.. called my mum immediately den called my dad.. super duper happy lo.. haha.. nearly burst out in tears sia.. i am not exaggerating lo.. the feelings of getting e license finally aft so many failure n spent so much money is really.......... well, hard to explain la.. haha...
finally can bring my mum out for supper as n when she likes liao.. gonna bring her out for e cripsy prata at thomson real soon.. hehe..
Monday, November 21, 2005
argh~~ so stressed now~~
super nervous n stress now lo.. haf been feeling tis way since fri aft my pract training at BBDC.. haiz.. it was quite a disaster lo.. haven been touching the steering wheel ever since i failed my 2nd TP in Feb.. tml i will be having my TP in e morning lo.. super scare will feel again n waste my parents money.. argh~~ that is y i am feeling so stress up now..
wat should i do?? i know that i should not feel nervous n muz let e tester feel safe sitting in my car.. only den i will pass but i jux cant help but feel nervous n scare.. how should i SHUN tis feeling away.. coz i know if i dun tml will be another disaster again lo.. argh~~ plz pray for me lo..
i went to see e skin doctor today rite aft my work at suntec.. the work was super slack lo.. jux gif out free gift by e company.. den i went to meet my mum at PS coz a super blurry gal ( who is ME ) forgot to bring my wallet out today.. i only brought my ezlink card out.. haha.. so muz mafan my mum to come out early n meet me..
my skin condition now really quite bad lo.. e doc said is due to excessive oil secretion which will happen normally ard my age lo.. sadded case.. haiz.. hope it wil become beta aft e medication n stuff lo..
finally aft waiting to see my doc for 2 hr, we went off to eat Vienna.. hehe.. took a cab down to United Square.. din wait for daddy to reach n we started feasting already.. haha.. dun thk he mind la.. coz it had always been e case.. wahaha.. there goes my diet plan today coz in e afternoon, the company i work for treat us to buffet lunch oso.. haha.. but i din really eat much during lunch time la.. hehe.. so at least still alrite lo..
haiz.. hope by tml morning my nervous feeling will be gone like the wind n i can take e test wif a normal heart n mind.. really hope i can convince myself not to be so nervous lo.. muz jia you for me.. hehe..
wat should i do?? i know that i should not feel nervous n muz let e tester feel safe sitting in my car.. only den i will pass but i jux cant help but feel nervous n scare.. how should i SHUN tis feeling away.. coz i know if i dun tml will be another disaster again lo.. argh~~ plz pray for me lo..
i went to see e skin doctor today rite aft my work at suntec.. the work was super slack lo.. jux gif out free gift by e company.. den i went to meet my mum at PS coz a super blurry gal ( who is ME ) forgot to bring my wallet out today.. i only brought my ezlink card out.. haha.. so muz mafan my mum to come out early n meet me..
my skin condition now really quite bad lo.. e doc said is due to excessive oil secretion which will happen normally ard my age lo.. sadded case.. haiz.. hope it wil become beta aft e medication n stuff lo..
finally aft waiting to see my doc for 2 hr, we went off to eat Vienna.. hehe.. took a cab down to United Square.. din wait for daddy to reach n we started feasting already.. haha.. dun thk he mind la.. coz it had always been e case.. wahaha.. there goes my diet plan today coz in e afternoon, the company i work for treat us to buffet lunch oso.. haha.. but i din really eat much during lunch time la.. hehe.. so at least still alrite lo..
haiz.. hope by tml morning my nervous feeling will be gone like the wind n i can take e test wif a normal heart n mind.. really hope i can convince myself not to be so nervous lo.. muz jia you for me.. hehe..
Sunday, November 06, 2005
dun expect anything coz it will only make u disappointed~~
never expect anything from him~~ that's wat i haf been telling myself tis while.. but i jux cant seem to do it.. ever since he asked me for a patch i had been thking abt alot of things.. i cant seem to ignore his existence n heck care if he din reply to me or contact me or watsoever..
i am jux back to e way everything seems to be in e past.. i hate tis feelings.. i hate myself for going back to e time when i will expect n hope that he will do things for me.. tis is so silly of me rite..
see tis sentence in anna's blog -- A Person Can Be Less Troubled If She Is Willing To Let Go Of Alot Of Things~~
well, thk i should be doing that oso.. only den i will less troubled n conc on my studies .. thk i should not contact him tis days le.. only den can i really go back to e no expectation towards him life again~~
i am jux back to e way everything seems to be in e past.. i hate tis feelings.. i hate myself for going back to e time when i will expect n hope that he will do things for me.. tis is so silly of me rite..
see tis sentence in anna's blog -- A Person Can Be Less Troubled If She Is Willing To Let Go Of Alot Of Things~~
well, thk i should be doing that oso.. only den i will less troubled n conc on my studies .. thk i should not contact him tis days le.. only den can i really go back to e no expectation towards him life again~~
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
i am so stressed now
argh~~ suddenly feel very stressful now.. everything is like piling up n i am feeling suffocated lo.. i cant breathe..
so many things are making me stressed out lo.. sch work, my TP which is round the corner.. but i am more stressed abt sch work la.. haven been studying n revising n i am lagging alot behind.. really duno how to catch up.. e pace is like so fast.. n i cant seem to understand a thing.. seeing my frenz all having exam now n i am actually envy of em lo.. haha.. coz at least their exam is not 100% at e end of the yr unlike mine.. if i buang that exam den will haf to retake e sub le.. argh~~ thking of that stress me even more lo..
i need to de-stress.. i need a breather.. i wanna go on a hols.. even if its jux going to a chalet i thk i will oso feel beta lo.. at least can get away from reality for a while n really relax.. haiz.. mayb i should change my image once again.. thk i will feel beta n fresher ba..
so many things are making me stressed out lo.. sch work, my TP which is round the corner.. but i am more stressed abt sch work la.. haven been studying n revising n i am lagging alot behind.. really duno how to catch up.. e pace is like so fast.. n i cant seem to understand a thing.. seeing my frenz all having exam now n i am actually envy of em lo.. haha.. coz at least their exam is not 100% at e end of the yr unlike mine.. if i buang that exam den will haf to retake e sub le.. argh~~ thking of that stress me even more lo..
i need to de-stress.. i need a breather.. i wanna go on a hols.. even if its jux going to a chalet i thk i will oso feel beta lo.. at least can get away from reality for a while n really relax.. haiz.. mayb i should change my image once again.. thk i will feel beta n fresher ba..
Sunday, October 30, 2005
study day wif ah ma~~
went out to study wif ah ma at scotts.. haha.. as usual, she was late.. but its still ok la.. coz i can study on my own 1st.. quite happy wif myself today coz it had been a very long time since i study so much n so long le.. i study for almost 6 hours today lo.. really so encouraging.. haha..
went to the HK restaurant at taka for dinner aft some window shopping.. realise that i haven been shopping for a very long time le.. really miss the feeling of shopping lo.. but now super broke.. no income.. haiz..
i thk i should conc on my studies from now onwards.. shouldnt be thking anything abt him anymore.. aft all, it seems like getting nowhere at all.. everything jux go back to e same way as it is.. when its time to let go, we should jux let go.. there is no pt for being stubborn n hang on to sth that will haf no future.. it will jux make u feel miserable n tired u out.. i know its hard but tis is not e 1st time i am doing that.. hope the road ahead will be easier den b4 ba.. :)
went to the HK restaurant at taka for dinner aft some window shopping.. realise that i haven been shopping for a very long time le.. really miss the feeling of shopping lo.. but now super broke.. no income.. haiz..
i thk i should conc on my studies from now onwards.. shouldnt be thking anything abt him anymore.. aft all, it seems like getting nowhere at all.. everything jux go back to e same way as it is.. when its time to let go, we should jux let go.. there is no pt for being stubborn n hang on to sth that will haf no future.. it will jux make u feel miserable n tired u out.. i know its hard but tis is not e 1st time i am doing that.. hope the road ahead will be easier den b4 ba.. :)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
HE is still e same.. nth has changed~~
he disappointed me once more.. tis time round, i really haf nth to say le..
tis couple of days i am not so clear headed as now.. i should jux lead the life which i haf been leading tis few mths ba..
let wat happen tis couple of days be jux a dream.. a beautiful dream n memories.. thk its beta tis way ba..
tis couple of days i am not so clear headed as now.. i should jux lead the life which i haf been leading tis few mths ba..
let wat happen tis couple of days be jux a dream.. a beautiful dream n memories.. thk its beta tis way ba..
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
i cried while reading tis~~
The guy who loves you, if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.
The guy who loves you can't tell you the reason why he loves you. he only knows that in his eyes you are the only one
The guy who loves you seldom praises you but inhis heart, you are the best, only he knows it.
The guy who loves you will worry sick or complain if you don't reply his messages because he cares.
The guy who loves you, Only sheds his tears in front of you, and when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart, the heart that beats for you.
The guy who loves you will remember every word u said, even its accidental.. and he will use those words always in the nick of time.
The guy who loves you will not promise that easily, because they don't want to break that promise he wants you to believe him and he wants to give you the happiest and safest life always
The guy who loves you always tells you not to think too much, because he planned everything he wants to give u the perfect life in the future, he wants to surprise you believe that he can do it.
The guy who loves you, will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bouquet of roses and call you darling like what you expect. but he willcarry your luggage and ask you "why have you becom eso thin in two days?" with his sincere heart.
The boy who loves you will listen quietly to you,when you are mad, and when you finished talking he will say "you have class tomorrow, sleep earlier with a smile. I'll make sure you do.."
The boy who loves you doesn't know whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will send a message to you after a few hours, if you ask him why he call that late, he will say when you are angry, my explanation will be rubbish.But when you calm down, my explanation will work.
The boy who loves you always calls you a kid, but everytime he wants to make a big decision, he will want to hear your advice first
The guy who loves you don't like toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you gave him on his bed. and hug it everytime he sleeps cuz it reminds him of you
The guy who loves you, when quarrelling, will apologize non-stop, even though if you're the one who's wrong, he just wants you to be happy.
The guy who loves you, when he really misses you, he will want to buy you a bouquet of roses and wait for you stupidly outside your front door and when you shockingly find him there, he'll already be asleep dreaming of you
The guy who loves you can't tell you the reason why he loves you. he only knows that in his eyes you are the only one
The guy who loves you seldom praises you but inhis heart, you are the best, only he knows it.
The guy who loves you will worry sick or complain if you don't reply his messages because he cares.
The guy who loves you, Only sheds his tears in front of you, and when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart, the heart that beats for you.
The guy who loves you will remember every word u said, even its accidental.. and he will use those words always in the nick of time.
The guy who loves you will not promise that easily, because they don't want to break that promise he wants you to believe him and he wants to give you the happiest and safest life always
The guy who loves you always tells you not to think too much, because he planned everything he wants to give u the perfect life in the future, he wants to surprise you believe that he can do it.
The guy who loves you, will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bouquet of roses and call you darling like what you expect. but he willcarry your luggage and ask you "why have you becom eso thin in two days?" with his sincere heart.
The boy who loves you will listen quietly to you,when you are mad, and when you finished talking he will say "you have class tomorrow, sleep earlier with a smile. I'll make sure you do.."
The boy who loves you doesn't know whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will send a message to you after a few hours, if you ask him why he call that late, he will say when you are angry, my explanation will be rubbish.But when you calm down, my explanation will work.
The boy who loves you always calls you a kid, but everytime he wants to make a big decision, he will want to hear your advice first
The guy who loves you don't like toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you gave him on his bed. and hug it everytime he sleeps cuz it reminds him of you
The guy who loves you, when quarrelling, will apologize non-stop, even though if you're the one who's wrong, he just wants you to be happy.
The guy who loves you, when he really misses you, he will want to buy you a bouquet of roses and wait for you stupidly outside your front door and when you shockingly find him there, he'll already be asleep dreaming of you
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
he is treating me really sweet now.. it had been very long since i feel tis way..
he accompanied me to the Lib coz i wan to study while he jux go there read magazine.. n he waited for me for 2 hrs while i went for tuition.. in e past i dun thk he will even do that lo.. he will jux go back home n rest..
really confused now.. i really duno wat i wan n wat he wan oso.. mayb i should jux leave it alone n dun thk abt it 1st ba.. will that be a beta way out??
he accompanied me to the Lib coz i wan to study while he jux go there read magazine.. n he waited for me for 2 hrs while i went for tuition.. in e past i dun thk he will even do that lo.. he will jux go back home n rest..
really confused now.. i really duno wat i wan n wat he wan oso.. mayb i should jux leave it alone n dun thk abt it 1st ba.. will that be a beta way out??
Monday, October 24, 2005
am i dreaming??
quite a couple of things happened tis 3 days.. really duno how to start..
we went out yest.. had been planning tis outing for more den a wk.. HE offered to fetch me.. but i told him to meet me at e woodlands stn instead.. we took the train to orchard n went Lido to catch a Flightplan..
there was still time b4 e movie so i went BK to grab a bite 1st.. it had been a very long time since i last went Lido to watch movie le.. it reminds me of the past when i went there wif a senior.. muz tell u all lo, the Lido 1 theatre is super duper cold lo.. dun be like me, din bring jacket over.. was freezing n shivering there thruout the show.. but he did ask me whether i need his shirt for warmth as he is wearing 2 outfit.. last time, when i tell him i am cold he oso will do nth lo.. but now, he is offering me even w/o me saying anything..
we walked to the Glasshouse to eat Fish & Co.. we had been wanting to go there to eat le.. but sth will always crop up at the last min.. finally tis time we can eat there w/o any obstruction.. din get a chance to sit on e top level.. thk it is always close unless there is some special occasion..
aft dinner, we walked to esplanade there.. wanted to go One Fullerton for coffee one.. but in e end find ourself to be too full for coffee.. so we jux find a bench n sit down to enjoy the scenary.. we started chatting n he jux lie down n took a nap.. n later, he told me sth that i never tot i will hear again from him.. he asked sth that i never dare to imagine he will.. i was really taken aback lo..
i really duno how to reply him.. actually there are alot of factors to consider.. alot alot.. i really need more time to thk abt the answer.. i din gif him a reply at all.. we stayed there n continue chatting until 1245 n he sent me home.. wat we did today n how he treated me today was all wat i wanted in e past.. but he jux din do it..
we went out yest.. had been planning tis outing for more den a wk.. HE offered to fetch me.. but i told him to meet me at e woodlands stn instead.. we took the train to orchard n went Lido to catch a Flightplan..
there was still time b4 e movie so i went BK to grab a bite 1st.. it had been a very long time since i last went Lido to watch movie le.. it reminds me of the past when i went there wif a senior.. muz tell u all lo, the Lido 1 theatre is super duper cold lo.. dun be like me, din bring jacket over.. was freezing n shivering there thruout the show.. but he did ask me whether i need his shirt for warmth as he is wearing 2 outfit.. last time, when i tell him i am cold he oso will do nth lo.. but now, he is offering me even w/o me saying anything..
we walked to the Glasshouse to eat Fish & Co.. we had been wanting to go there to eat le.. but sth will always crop up at the last min.. finally tis time we can eat there w/o any obstruction.. din get a chance to sit on e top level.. thk it is always close unless there is some special occasion..
aft dinner, we walked to esplanade there.. wanted to go One Fullerton for coffee one.. but in e end find ourself to be too full for coffee.. so we jux find a bench n sit down to enjoy the scenary.. we started chatting n he jux lie down n took a nap.. n later, he told me sth that i never tot i will hear again from him.. he asked sth that i never dare to imagine he will.. i was really taken aback lo..
i really duno how to reply him.. actually there are alot of factors to consider.. alot alot.. i really need more time to thk abt the answer.. i din gif him a reply at all.. we stayed there n continue chatting until 1245 n he sent me home.. wat we did today n how he treated me today was all wat i wanted in e past.. but he jux din do it..
Friday, October 21, 2005
its 21st oct~~ our supposedly 2nd yr anni~~
the day has finally come.. the day i dreaded n wished for at e same time is finally here.. i really duno i am feeling happy or sad now.. but definitely, i am feeling down.. jux wan to remain quiet n dun wish to do anything..
if in e past i will be super happy lo.. coz we are able to celeb our anni.. but now, things are so diff.. jux like last yr i wont be receiving any happy anni sms from him.. last yr cox he is in taiwan for his army thing, tis yr..... i am no longer in that position to ask for anything anymore..
from now on, 21st oct will jux be an ordinary day for me n him.. it will not be a special date share by us anymore.. haiz.. really feeling damn down now la.. duno he knows wat is the date today or not.. duno whether he still rem its our supposedly 2nd yr anni or not.. wonder he will feel down jux like me?? even its a little twinny winny bit i will oso be damn happy lo..
wat he sms me today really makes me feel damn happy n pampered lo.. he actually rem wat i told him to do n he is doing it for me now.. i never tot he will lo.. i dun even dare to hope or wish for it.. but he is doing it now.. feel damn happy when i saw his sms but aft a while e sad feeling came in.. how come when we are together that time he is not that sweet?? mayb i take everything for granted ba.. or mayb he take me for granted.. haha.. wat is tis...
feeling so lethargic now.. feeling so listless now.. feeling damn confused now.. argh~~~
if in e past i will be super happy lo.. coz we are able to celeb our anni.. but now, things are so diff.. jux like last yr i wont be receiving any happy anni sms from him.. last yr cox he is in taiwan for his army thing, tis yr..... i am no longer in that position to ask for anything anymore..
from now on, 21st oct will jux be an ordinary day for me n him.. it will not be a special date share by us anymore.. haiz.. really feeling damn down now la.. duno he knows wat is the date today or not.. duno whether he still rem its our supposedly 2nd yr anni or not.. wonder he will feel down jux like me?? even its a little twinny winny bit i will oso be damn happy lo..
wat he sms me today really makes me feel damn happy n pampered lo.. he actually rem wat i told him to do n he is doing it for me now.. i never tot he will lo.. i dun even dare to hope or wish for it.. but he is doing it now.. feel damn happy when i saw his sms but aft a while e sad feeling came in.. how come when we are together that time he is not that sweet?? mayb i take everything for granted ba.. or mayb he take me for granted.. haha.. wat is tis...
feeling so lethargic now.. feeling so listless now.. feeling damn confused now.. argh~~~
Sunday, October 16, 2005
i need tutoring~~
jux came back from supper wif em again.. but tis time round i din eat la. jux put back my 1 kg which i lost a few days back.. damn demoralised lo.. haha..
well, was doing my poa tutorial jux now.. realised i duno how to do alot of qns lo.. die liao sia.. mux really buck up from now on liao.. cant play so much le.. argh~~ sadded ah.. from tml onwards, i muz start my at least 3 hr of revision per day thing again liao.. tis is e only way for me to catch up wat i miss.. esp for my poa n econs lo.. haha..
well, was doing my poa tutorial jux now.. realised i duno how to do alot of qns lo.. die liao sia.. mux really buck up from now on liao.. cant play so much le.. argh~~ sadded ah.. from tml onwards, i muz start my at least 3 hr of revision per day thing again liao.. tis is e only way for me to catch up wat i miss.. esp for my poa n econs lo.. haha..
Saturday, October 15, 2005
havoc day~~
ha.. i jux woke up from my slp.. yest i went out for e whole 24 hour lo.. superb rite..
been out from home since 8 for sch.. went to sch to help alvin search 4 his hp.. he had misplaced it since yest lo.. den anthan called the organiser of the talentime to ask whether they had seen his fone n he tolf me that i had got into talentime le.. i was like looking at him in shocked lo.. coz he said he n alvin din got in.. but we got in for e duet.. actually till tis moment, i still dun believe him lo..
i intend to go for poa in e afternoon one but den they are checking attendace n die die dun let me in for lect lo.. so i went back aft getting my notes wif alvin they all.. muz thx em for U-turning back to fetch me lo.. hee.. pai seh har.. haiz.. quite sadded for missing the poa lect lo.. coz my poa now is damn jia lat la.. really mux buck up for tis subj le..
went to ktv wif em after picking up edward.. sort of like going there to choose e songs for duet ba.. from 2 plus sing till 6 plus lo.. aft that we went to haf our dinner at vista pt.. it had been a long time since i last went there le.. haha.. aft dinner me, philip n edward took a cab home coz we need to be out by 915 again..
it was the 1st time that i reached home bath le den rushed out again lo.. it was really rush lo.. i jux stepped out of the bathroom den they told me muz meet in 5 min time liao.. but i haven make up n prepare anything lo.. it was really havoc la.. haha.. jux chop chop prepare liao den went to meet philip at his void deck le.. hee..
meet anthan they all at woodlands stn n we take a train to yishun.. they decide to take a cab from there instead to MS lo.. coz only like that we will reach by 1030 for e promo thing.. but e queue was damn long there la.. in e end, we went to momo instead.. while walking i pass by the route i walked wif HIM while celeb our last anni togehter.. i never tot i will haf a chance to walk that route again coz it was quite out of place for me to go there again lo.. feel abit down while walking pass there.. but heng gt anthan they all to joke wif me, at least it makes me feel beta.. hehe..
it was my 1st time to go momo.. the palce was quite nice la.. but den it jux lack sth lei.. as compared to my previous clubbing, tis is not as happening.. erm.. mayb i really dun like clubbing so much now le.. it was quite sian to me now.. we left at 1 plus n go to play pool at queenstown there.. i was really tired n fall aslp there lo.. haha.. we stayed there until 5 n decide to go for our breakfast.. but it was raining heavily lo.. we will be stranded there if we din meet the kind bus uncle..
we stopped him asked him for a ride out.. aft chatting den we know he was going to changi airport lo.. n we decide to follow him.. happening rite.. 1st time hear ppl go clubbing n end up in e airport lo.. everyone slp on e journey there lo, guess we were all very tired le ba.. we had BK breakfast at e airport.. it was really a very special experience lo.. haha.. thk it will jux happen once in a lifetime sia.. haha..
we took a maxi cab back coz gt 5 of us n we cant take a normal cab lo.. it was e 1st time i took a maxi cab lo but i am too tired to go n explre the car liao.. haha.. i reached home at 7 plus, the time i woke up yest lo.. i haf been up for almost 24 hr le.. superb sia.. e moment i finish bathing n remove my make up, i lie flat on my bed n was on my way to dreamland liao.. haha..
been out from home since 8 for sch.. went to sch to help alvin search 4 his hp.. he had misplaced it since yest lo.. den anthan called the organiser of the talentime to ask whether they had seen his fone n he tolf me that i had got into talentime le.. i was like looking at him in shocked lo.. coz he said he n alvin din got in.. but we got in for e duet.. actually till tis moment, i still dun believe him lo..
i intend to go for poa in e afternoon one but den they are checking attendace n die die dun let me in for lect lo.. so i went back aft getting my notes wif alvin they all.. muz thx em for U-turning back to fetch me lo.. hee.. pai seh har.. haiz.. quite sadded for missing the poa lect lo.. coz my poa now is damn jia lat la.. really mux buck up for tis subj le..
went to ktv wif em after picking up edward.. sort of like going there to choose e songs for duet ba.. from 2 plus sing till 6 plus lo.. aft that we went to haf our dinner at vista pt.. it had been a long time since i last went there le.. haha.. aft dinner me, philip n edward took a cab home coz we need to be out by 915 again..
it was the 1st time that i reached home bath le den rushed out again lo.. it was really rush lo.. i jux stepped out of the bathroom den they told me muz meet in 5 min time liao.. but i haven make up n prepare anything lo.. it was really havoc la.. haha.. jux chop chop prepare liao den went to meet philip at his void deck le.. hee..
meet anthan they all at woodlands stn n we take a train to yishun.. they decide to take a cab from there instead to MS lo.. coz only like that we will reach by 1030 for e promo thing.. but e queue was damn long there la.. in e end, we went to momo instead.. while walking i pass by the route i walked wif HIM while celeb our last anni togehter.. i never tot i will haf a chance to walk that route again coz it was quite out of place for me to go there again lo.. feel abit down while walking pass there.. but heng gt anthan they all to joke wif me, at least it makes me feel beta.. hehe..
it was my 1st time to go momo.. the palce was quite nice la.. but den it jux lack sth lei.. as compared to my previous clubbing, tis is not as happening.. erm.. mayb i really dun like clubbing so much now le.. it was quite sian to me now.. we left at 1 plus n go to play pool at queenstown there.. i was really tired n fall aslp there lo.. haha.. we stayed there until 5 n decide to go for our breakfast.. but it was raining heavily lo.. we will be stranded there if we din meet the kind bus uncle..
we stopped him asked him for a ride out.. aft chatting den we know he was going to changi airport lo.. n we decide to follow him.. happening rite.. 1st time hear ppl go clubbing n end up in e airport lo.. everyone slp on e journey there lo, guess we were all very tired le ba.. we had BK breakfast at e airport.. it was really a very special experience lo.. haha.. thk it will jux happen once in a lifetime sia.. haha..
we took a maxi cab back coz gt 5 of us n we cant take a normal cab lo.. it was e 1st time i took a maxi cab lo but i am too tired to go n explre the car liao.. haha.. i reached home at 7 plus, the time i woke up yest lo.. i haf been up for almost 24 hr le.. superb sia.. e moment i finish bathing n remove my make up, i lie flat on my bed n was on my way to dreamland liao.. haha..
Thursday, October 13, 2005
audition days~~
haha.. tis few days haf been ahving my auditions for talentime lo.. yest was the solo one while today is e duet one.. well, really love the feeling of standing on the stage 2 perform n hear the applause from the audience.. ever since JJ talentime, i haf never feel tis way b4 le.. it really reminds me of my JCs days sia.. haha.. it was really a grest feeling..
yest audition was fun la.. wif anthan doing all thsoe stuns.. haha.. den today's duet is actually decided last min one.. me & alvin decide to join the duet category last min yest.. at 1st i wanted to join wif anthan one but he was not ard when the person-in-charge told alvin we can join even now lo.. so i partner wif alvin instead le.. well, feel quite bad towards anthan lo.. pai seh lei.. den there is this contestant who is very nice as to lend us thier disc for the song.. hehe..
but den we had no time to practise until today lo.. thus i din went for poa lect which is a grave mistake lo.. coz today they gif out notes n we muz take attendance b4 we can get the notes lo.. duno tml when i go they will stil gif me or not lei.. haiz.. the 4 of us met up at cwp for lunch at kfc.. aft that, me n anthan went to alvin's house while philip went to work le..
we practise until 3 plus den went to sch le.. we reached quite early lo so the SRC ppl allows us to practise wif all the equipment n stuff..
guess wat?? i am influenced by Mr alvin's contagious disease lo.. the ' lyrics forgetting' disease.. i kept forgetting my lyrics after practising wif him lo.. argh~~ during the actual performance, i forgot part of the lyrics lo.. super sia suay lo.. argh~~ erm.. forget to mention abt my JJ senior, Guochao.. today den i know that he can sing n play the guitar so well lo.. it was really impressing..
we went back b4 the whole thing ended coz i need to rush for my tuition n i was damn late for it liao lo.. super tired aft my tuition lo.. tml still gt full day in sch.. really will die ah.. haiz.. but den.. tis 2 days it was really very fun ah.. very long never experience tis kind of feelings b4 le.. haha..
yest audition was fun la.. wif anthan doing all thsoe stuns.. haha.. den today's duet is actually decided last min one.. me & alvin decide to join the duet category last min yest.. at 1st i wanted to join wif anthan one but he was not ard when the person-in-charge told alvin we can join even now lo.. so i partner wif alvin instead le.. well, feel quite bad towards anthan lo.. pai seh lei.. den there is this contestant who is very nice as to lend us thier disc for the song.. hehe..
but den we had no time to practise until today lo.. thus i din went for poa lect which is a grave mistake lo.. coz today they gif out notes n we muz take attendance b4 we can get the notes lo.. duno tml when i go they will stil gif me or not lei.. haiz.. the 4 of us met up at cwp for lunch at kfc.. aft that, me n anthan went to alvin's house while philip went to work le..
we practise until 3 plus den went to sch le.. we reached quite early lo so the SRC ppl allows us to practise wif all the equipment n stuff..
guess wat?? i am influenced by Mr alvin's contagious disease lo.. the ' lyrics forgetting' disease.. i kept forgetting my lyrics after practising wif him lo.. argh~~ during the actual performance, i forgot part of the lyrics lo.. super sia suay lo.. argh~~ erm.. forget to mention abt my JJ senior, Guochao.. today den i know that he can sing n play the guitar so well lo.. it was really impressing..
we went back b4 the whole thing ended coz i need to rush for my tuition n i was damn late for it liao lo.. super tired aft my tuition lo.. tml still gt full day in sch.. really will die ah.. haiz.. but den.. tis 2 days it was really very fun ah.. very long never experience tis kind of feelings b4 le.. haha..
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
i am really getting fatter n fatter...
argh~~~ i haf been troubled over my weight n figure for e past few weeks lo.. i haf been growing fatter n fatter.. n guess wat, i jux came back from supper n i ate a super sinful CHEESE prata.. oh my god... wahaha.. cham liao la.. duno until when den i can go back to my 48 kg weight le.. argh~~ n e worse thing is i might be going to sentosa on tis sat lo.. but i am still so fat.. how sia...
stayed at home e whole day today.. actually gonna go study wif anthan at e lib one but last min sth happen at home n i had to cancel it.. really sorry lei.. once in a lifetime for him to ask us out to study but i haf to gif it a miss or should i say cancel it.. really dui bu qi ta.. haha..
thk i muz haf some motivation for me to go on a dieting prog liao.. n i mean a real dieting one lo.. haha.. normal i will say i wan to diet but e next moment i will be looking for food to munch.. haha.. super no determination lo.. den i cant go jogging liao sia, coz my thigh is super big now lo.. thk jogging will make it worse.. haha.. mayb i shall turn to swim but den it will broaden my shoulder lei.. wa.. in a dilemma lo.. haha..
erm.. muz set goals liao.. i muz go back to 48kg by 21st oct no matter wat.. hehe.. wish me gd luck.. wahaha.. but den i thk i need more determination rather den luck la.. haha..
stayed at home e whole day today.. actually gonna go study wif anthan at e lib one but last min sth happen at home n i had to cancel it.. really sorry lei.. once in a lifetime for him to ask us out to study but i haf to gif it a miss or should i say cancel it.. really dui bu qi ta.. haha..
thk i muz haf some motivation for me to go on a dieting prog liao.. n i mean a real dieting one lo.. haha.. normal i will say i wan to diet but e next moment i will be looking for food to munch.. haha.. super no determination lo.. den i cant go jogging liao sia, coz my thigh is super big now lo.. thk jogging will make it worse.. haha.. mayb i shall turn to swim but den it will broaden my shoulder lei.. wa.. in a dilemma lo.. haha..
erm.. muz set goals liao.. i muz go back to 48kg by 21st oct no matter wat.. hehe.. wish me gd luck.. wahaha.. but den i thk i need more determination rather den luck la.. haha..
Monday, October 10, 2005
i have move on, havent i?
tis is a qns i haf been asking myself but till today, i still cant find e ans... i will still feel upset, i will still cry for him.. i still cant bear to delete away those sms he sent me.. i am such a failure rite..
from wat he say to me, it seems that he had already move on le.. i tot i oso.. but i am jux deceiving myself.. i thk if he gt a gf now, i will be damn heartbroken n sad lo.. ( very selfish to thk tis way rite ?) hee..
going for a run wif philip soon.. hope i can feel beta aft exercising..
from wat he say to me, it seems that he had already move on le.. i tot i oso.. but i am jux deceiving myself.. i thk if he gt a gf now, i will be damn heartbroken n sad lo.. ( very selfish to thk tis way rite ?) hee..
going for a run wif philip soon.. hope i can feel beta aft exercising..
He asked me out~~
yup, we went out today.. tis couple of times, he was e one asking me wanna go out or not.. feel abit weird lo.. coz normally i am e one asking him out in e past one.. thk i cant get used to it ba..
intended to go cut my hair one but in e end feel lazy.. hehe.. he offered to go wif me n asked me wan him come woodlands n meet me ma.. wow, it was so unlike him lo.. i am really taken aback by him.. mayb he really treat his fren nicer n beta ba.. or becoz to me he is juz a fren now, so my expectation of him is lower.. thus when he offers to acc me n come meet me, i feel really appreciative..
i met him at orchard straight la.. ha.. walked ard orchard den went to eat at Rice Table.. one of our favourite restaurant in e past.. it changed quite alot there le.. jux like our r/s.. we chatted abt quite alot of stuff n i asked alot of qns which i dun dare to ask in e past.. cleared alot of my doubts.. duno its gd to make everything so clear or not.. haha.. sometimes things are beta left unsaid, dun they?
while walking next to him, had tis urge to hold his hand.. haha.. thk i am really too used to holding his hand le, that's y had tis urge.. haha.. muz really change tis 'habit'.. really scare that one day, i will jux naturally go hold his hand w/o me knowing wat i am doing lo.. by that time it will be super pai seh lo.. haha..
aft dinner we continue to walk ard until 8 plus.. den i went back to wlds meeting philip n anthan they all for last min cfm ktv session, while he went back to his camp le.. feel abit empty inside again aft i parted wif him.. duno y tis is always happening... when i was wif him, i am ok lo.. but when we parted, i will haf a kind of feelings which i duno how to describe.. it really makes me feel terrible..
intended to go cut my hair one but in e end feel lazy.. hehe.. he offered to go wif me n asked me wan him come woodlands n meet me ma.. wow, it was so unlike him lo.. i am really taken aback by him.. mayb he really treat his fren nicer n beta ba.. or becoz to me he is juz a fren now, so my expectation of him is lower.. thus when he offers to acc me n come meet me, i feel really appreciative..
i met him at orchard straight la.. ha.. walked ard orchard den went to eat at Rice Table.. one of our favourite restaurant in e past.. it changed quite alot there le.. jux like our r/s.. we chatted abt quite alot of stuff n i asked alot of qns which i dun dare to ask in e past.. cleared alot of my doubts.. duno its gd to make everything so clear or not.. haha.. sometimes things are beta left unsaid, dun they?
while walking next to him, had tis urge to hold his hand.. haha.. thk i am really too used to holding his hand le, that's y had tis urge.. haha.. muz really change tis 'habit'.. really scare that one day, i will jux naturally go hold his hand w/o me knowing wat i am doing lo.. by that time it will be super pai seh lo.. haha..
aft dinner we continue to walk ard until 8 plus.. den i went back to wlds meeting philip n anthan they all for last min cfm ktv session, while he went back to his camp le.. feel abit empty inside again aft i parted wif him.. duno y tis is always happening... when i was wif him, i am ok lo.. but when we parted, i will haf a kind of feelings which i duno how to describe.. it really makes me feel terrible..
Friday, October 07, 2005
i love sushi~~
haha.. i went to crash the Econs lect today.. was damn scared will be kena chased out lo but heng din.. aft the Econs lect which ended quite late today, the 4 of us, ( anthan, alvin, philip n me ) took a cab to cine to feast.. haha.. finally gt company to go eat sushi buffet wif me liao.. i had been craving for it for very long liao lo.. hehe..
today, my diet plan was ruined once again.. i eat quite alot lo.. den we still play games in there n the forfeit is to eat the food which we dun like or wif EXTRA stuff.. haha.. but it was really fun la.. i love to go eat buffet lo.. coz can eat n joke ard n do all kind of stupid stuffs.. tis is esp true wif the 'ah's gang'.. hehe.. 1st time see anthan so quiet n looked so stress lo.. wahaha.. thk he really eat until super duper full lo..
aft the meal, i went back wif philip while the other 2 went to work.. den i begin to slack at home liao, wan to go swim or run one but in e end too lazy to move.. haha.. the day was fun la.. but at nite, i feel abit sad again liao.. mayb i really suffering from pms ba, n is those really frequent kind one lo..
actually we had been continuing smsing each other everyday for almost a wk le.. jux like frenz n stuff lo.. well, the feeling of it is quite gd lo.. as in really behaving like normal frenz, smsing n suaning each other lo.. i am really quite contented n happy that we are back to the normal times again b4 we are together le.. but den, duno y aft reading a frenz blog, i feel down again.. wat is tis lo.. haiz..
today, my diet plan was ruined once again.. i eat quite alot lo.. den we still play games in there n the forfeit is to eat the food which we dun like or wif EXTRA stuff.. haha.. but it was really fun la.. i love to go eat buffet lo.. coz can eat n joke ard n do all kind of stupid stuffs.. tis is esp true wif the 'ah's gang'.. hehe.. 1st time see anthan so quiet n looked so stress lo.. wahaha.. thk he really eat until super duper full lo..
aft the meal, i went back wif philip while the other 2 went to work.. den i begin to slack at home liao, wan to go swim or run one but in e end too lazy to move.. haha.. the day was fun la.. but at nite, i feel abit sad again liao.. mayb i really suffering from pms ba, n is those really frequent kind one lo..
actually we had been continuing smsing each other everyday for almost a wk le.. jux like frenz n stuff lo.. well, the feeling of it is quite gd lo.. as in really behaving like normal frenz, smsing n suaning each other lo.. i am really quite contented n happy that we are back to the normal times again b4 we are together le.. but den, duno y aft reading a frenz blog, i feel down again.. wat is tis lo.. haiz..
Thursday, October 06, 2005
damn tired now..
been really lazy n busy tis days to come online.. haha.. i cant believe that i slp at 10 on tue lo.. duno for how long since i did that le.. its really an achievement lo.. haha..
went ktv wif alvin, philip, anthan n billy.. i need to go there to pick some songs for my talentime audition next wk.. they are really nice lo, went on tue le den still acc me go yest.. haha.. really appreciate that lo.. aft the session we went to woodgrove coz edward was there le.. but i can say that i am damn tired lo.. tis few days i am like din slp enuff though i slp alot lo.. wahaha..
i muz say abt my shopping trip in KL now.. or else gt no chance to say liao...
Sat morning i took a cab n go fetch ah ma & her fren, wanyu and the 3 of us went down to golden mile.. muz really complain that the bus driver was taking their own sweet time lo.. make us waste another precious hr on the bus slping.. we could haf shop at KL wif that 1 hr one lo..
in e end we reached e hotel nearly at 3.. e moment we stepped into the room, put down our stuff we chiong liao.. wahaha.. super duper hungry lo.. n i am having gastric liao.. we hurried to.. yes is hurried over to eat the super nice Hong Kong food at the shopping centre.. it was damn nice lo.. *slurp* i still miss the thick peanut toast now lo.. haha..
rite aft the food session we start our SHOPPING SPREE.. haha.. it was really fun to go shopping wif gals lo.. we can be so crazy n fun.. haha.. kp on taking n trying the clothes.. guess wat, we bought the same belt, same skirt n top.. haha.. there is only one conclusion, our taste is gd.. wahaha.. we shop from 4 plus to 10 lo.. until e shop close den we are happy to go back.. but i muz tell u, it was really tiring.. haha..
we went to secret recipe to haf our late dinner.. but me n ah ma were not really hungry, so we share the food instead.. aft the dinner, we went back to the hotel n bath le.. din go to chinatown, coz we all gals ma.. den thk its abit unsafe for us to go there lo.. sadded.. we slack at the hotel room, trying our new clothes n trying each other's clothes.. it was damn fun lo..
at 12 plus, we decide to go down n eat bak kut teh.. haha.. i jux couldnt care abt dieting liao la.. the bak kut teh was so so la, but the carrot cake is damn power lo.. haha.. we seat at the shop n chat until 2 den went back to the room le.. tis time is to rest liao.. haha..
i go slp liao la.. continue tml .. haha.. nitez guys..
went ktv wif alvin, philip, anthan n billy.. i need to go there to pick some songs for my talentime audition next wk.. they are really nice lo, went on tue le den still acc me go yest.. haha.. really appreciate that lo.. aft the session we went to woodgrove coz edward was there le.. but i can say that i am damn tired lo.. tis few days i am like din slp enuff though i slp alot lo.. wahaha..
i muz say abt my shopping trip in KL now.. or else gt no chance to say liao...
Sat morning i took a cab n go fetch ah ma & her fren, wanyu and the 3 of us went down to golden mile.. muz really complain that the bus driver was taking their own sweet time lo.. make us waste another precious hr on the bus slping.. we could haf shop at KL wif that 1 hr one lo..
in e end we reached e hotel nearly at 3.. e moment we stepped into the room, put down our stuff we chiong liao.. wahaha.. super duper hungry lo.. n i am having gastric liao.. we hurried to.. yes is hurried over to eat the super nice Hong Kong food at the shopping centre.. it was damn nice lo.. *slurp* i still miss the thick peanut toast now lo.. haha..
rite aft the food session we start our SHOPPING SPREE.. haha.. it was really fun to go shopping wif gals lo.. we can be so crazy n fun.. haha.. kp on taking n trying the clothes.. guess wat, we bought the same belt, same skirt n top.. haha.. there is only one conclusion, our taste is gd.. wahaha.. we shop from 4 plus to 10 lo.. until e shop close den we are happy to go back.. but i muz tell u, it was really tiring.. haha..
we went to secret recipe to haf our late dinner.. but me n ah ma were not really hungry, so we share the food instead.. aft the dinner, we went back to the hotel n bath le.. din go to chinatown, coz we all gals ma.. den thk its abit unsafe for us to go there lo.. sadded.. we slack at the hotel room, trying our new clothes n trying each other's clothes.. it was damn fun lo..
at 12 plus, we decide to go down n eat bak kut teh.. haha.. i jux couldnt care abt dieting liao la.. the bak kut teh was so so la, but the carrot cake is damn power lo.. haha.. we seat at the shop n chat until 2 den went back to the room le.. tis time is to rest liao.. haha..
i go slp liao la.. continue tml .. haha.. nitez guys..
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
i am back from my shopping spree~~ haha
haha.. damn tired now lo.. went jogging wif philip n alvin jux now.. muz burn some fats for the sake of my sentosa body.. hehe... but den actually i am feelin abit sick n shag from e trip lo.. my throat feels abit funny n i am super tired n lethargic today lo.. that's y i went jogging, hoping that some exercising will improve e condition n release some endorphin to make me happy.. haha..
but actually i am quite happy liao la.. coz went shopping at KL.. it was the 1st time i went abroad wif my frenz.. though its only to KL ( the place where i will go more den 2 times a yr ), its the experience that counts.. hehe.. really quite fun la.. but there were more frenz wif us i thk it will be really beta lo..
erm.. very tired now liao... will update wat happen at KL in the next blog.. so stay tuned~~~ hehe.. i love KL..
but actually i am quite happy liao la.. coz went shopping at KL.. it was the 1st time i went abroad wif my frenz.. though its only to KL ( the place where i will go more den 2 times a yr ), its the experience that counts.. hehe.. really quite fun la.. but there were more frenz wif us i thk it will be really beta lo..
erm.. very tired now liao... will update wat happen at KL in the next blog.. so stay tuned~~~ hehe.. i love KL..
Friday, September 30, 2005
i feel emotionally drained out..
i am feeling really tired now.. i am emotionally drained out.. i dun feel like thking abt anything anymore.. y life cant be simpler??
i jux wan to lead a happy life w/o much worries.. but y cant i haf tis simple wish fulfilled? i feel really really tired lo.. i jux wan to lead a life now without thking abt any problem, any matters... but can i?? i really duno lo.. i jux cant let go.. i know i am still holding onto sth....... n tis sth is really making me feeling very terrible n its really draining me out.. i feel so empty deep inside but on e other hand, my heart is filled wif sadness n helplessness... its so contradicting.. yes it is...
if we din break up, tis will be the mth when we will be celeb our 2nd yr anniversary le.. last yr due to his trip 2 taiwan, we dun haf a chance to celeb.. well, 'siang bu dao' that was e only n last chance we can celeb..... i miss him suddenly.. feel like seeing him.. haiz~~
life is so weird.. sometimes i really duno wat is dream n wat is reality.. wat is true n wat is illusion.. i am really confused lo.. i cant differentiate wat is real n wat is not.. or pratically i cant differentiate anything anymore.. i jux wan to rest.. hope the trip to KL tml can help me relax my mind n let me haf a clearer pic of wat i wan n need in life now.. wish me gd luck~~~
i jux wan to lead a happy life w/o much worries.. but y cant i haf tis simple wish fulfilled? i feel really really tired lo.. i jux wan to lead a life now without thking abt any problem, any matters... but can i?? i really duno lo.. i jux cant let go.. i know i am still holding onto sth....... n tis sth is really making me feeling very terrible n its really draining me out.. i feel so empty deep inside but on e other hand, my heart is filled wif sadness n helplessness... its so contradicting.. yes it is...
if we din break up, tis will be the mth when we will be celeb our 2nd yr anniversary le.. last yr due to his trip 2 taiwan, we dun haf a chance to celeb.. well, 'siang bu dao' that was e only n last chance we can celeb..... i miss him suddenly.. feel like seeing him.. haiz~~
life is so weird.. sometimes i really duno wat is dream n wat is reality.. wat is true n wat is illusion.. i am really confused lo.. i cant differentiate wat is real n wat is not.. or pratically i cant differentiate anything anymore.. i jux wan to rest.. hope the trip to KL tml can help me relax my mind n let me haf a clearer pic of wat i wan n need in life now.. wish me gd luck~~~
Thursday, September 29, 2005
i am feeling so bad now~~~
i jux came back from Gan ge's b'day celebration at chinablack... b4 that i was at his house wif guofeng they all having steamboat.. it was supposed to be a joyous day but den i am not feeling very gd inside me.... all because of HIM once again.. it was a special day.... ( well, mayb its only to me ba.. not him.. )
we went to chinablack aft dinner at gan's place.. we dance on e stage again n den on those small round platform at the corner of the dance floor.. thk today gan ge's is the envy of all guys lo.. haf so many female dance partner dancing wif him.. haha.. well, its his b'day ma.. thk tis is e 1st time i ever dance so close n intimate wif a guy lo.. haha.. he muz feel damn honoured lo.. but it was really fun dancing wif him la.. esp he was abit high due to e alcohol n oso because of sth else.. before long, he was drunk.. or should i say seh.. well, seeing him like that, i felt very xin ku lo.. as his sis or as his fren, i feel very 'xin teng' towards him lo.. i know he is feeling bad deep inside him.. i know how painful it is lo coz i went thru this b4.. really feel like getting myself drunk jux like him..
i am wondering, next mth on 21 oct, will i receive any sms from him or not.. well, actually no need wonder la.. coz i already know the ans myself rite now le.. i am jux hoping miracle will happen.. mayb i am not lucky or i jux haf no fate wif miracle ba.. coz it never happen to me b4..
we went to chinablack aft dinner at gan's place.. we dance on e stage again n den on those small round platform at the corner of the dance floor.. thk today gan ge's is the envy of all guys lo.. haf so many female dance partner dancing wif him.. haha.. well, its his b'day ma.. thk tis is e 1st time i ever dance so close n intimate wif a guy lo.. haha.. he muz feel damn honoured lo.. but it was really fun dancing wif him la.. esp he was abit high due to e alcohol n oso because of sth else.. before long, he was drunk.. or should i say seh.. well, seeing him like that, i felt very xin ku lo.. as his sis or as his fren, i feel very 'xin teng' towards him lo.. i know he is feeling bad deep inside him.. i know how painful it is lo coz i went thru this b4.. really feel like getting myself drunk jux like him..
i am wondering, next mth on 21 oct, will i receive any sms from him or not.. well, actually no need wonder la.. coz i already know the ans myself rite now le.. i am jux hoping miracle will happen.. mayb i am not lucky or i jux haf no fate wif miracle ba.. coz it never happen to me b4..
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
i am such a computer dummy~~
i bought a new comp le.. n everything is so new to me.. wahaha.. finally realise that i am a comp dummy n is a real jia lat one lo.. hehe.. din even know how to copy mp3 files to media player lo.. ( dun luff hor )
went to study wif philip's gang today.. that anthan ah.. muz be dislike me alot lo, e moment i come, he went off liao... :P studied wif em in e woodlands lib until 430 den went to eat bk liao.. at least did some POA tutorial today.. n gt help from billy who took POA oso.. muz really thx him for his help or else i will sure go bonkers lo..
aft dinner i went to jp to meet ah ma liao.. gonna pay for my KL trip thing.. finally i am going abroad wif frenz le.. haf been wanting to go abroad wif frenz since jc time liao but always no chance.. though i am going to KL again but tis time round, i am looking forward to it lo.. gonna shop n eat till we drop.. haha.. muz thx philip for acc take e train to je.. hehe..
i reached there early n went shopping ard.. well, it reminds me of my jc time when the 4 'ahs' will go jp to shop n eat.. i still rem our pizza hut moments.. of coz i gt reminded of him oso lo.. haiz.. esp when tml will be a special day for us.. but doubt he will rem it oso la.. haha..
went to study wif philip's gang today.. that anthan ah.. muz be dislike me alot lo, e moment i come, he went off liao... :P studied wif em in e woodlands lib until 430 den went to eat bk liao.. at least did some POA tutorial today.. n gt help from billy who took POA oso.. muz really thx him for his help or else i will sure go bonkers lo..
aft dinner i went to jp to meet ah ma liao.. gonna pay for my KL trip thing.. finally i am going abroad wif frenz le.. haf been wanting to go abroad wif frenz since jc time liao but always no chance.. though i am going to KL again but tis time round, i am looking forward to it lo.. gonna shop n eat till we drop.. haha.. muz thx philip for acc take e train to je.. hehe..
i reached there early n went shopping ard.. well, it reminds me of my jc time when the 4 'ahs' will go jp to shop n eat.. i still rem our pizza hut moments.. of coz i gt reminded of him oso lo.. haiz.. esp when tml will be a special day for us.. but doubt he will rem it oso la.. haha..
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Gan's B'day Party~~
Jux came back from Gan's B'day party at his aunt's condo.. feeling quite tired now, aft writing tis i will go kooning liao.. haha..
Bro, pai seh lei, no time to get ur present but i will surely get u sth for ur 21st bday one.. hehe.. today at e party, i realise one thing abt Bro.. he can be a very fatherly person lo.. so caring n loving when he carry his little cousins.. 1st time see him like that sia.. make me see another side of him which i find it rare to see it in sch one.. haha.. but come to thk of it, he is really a very nice bro towards me la.. haha..
keep on eating n eating there coz there is alot of food lo.. and the pro is my weight already hit 50 liao sia.. but for Bro's sake, i still eat alot lo.. tml or the few wks aft this i muz really go into serious dieting liao.. my ideal weight is 48 kg.. mux jia you for me.. haha..
yest is another happening day lo.. was late for e maths test becox alvin woke up late.. both of his alarm clock spoilt at e same time lo.. well mayb they are rite, i am cursed lo.. whenever i am going to take his car to sch there is bound to be sth that will happen one.. so sadded...
but the test was damn easy la, so its ok.. wahaha.. den had my lunch wif lynn they all.. i called up the agency to check the package to KL le.. most pro we will go on 1st Oct, which is next sat.. thking of the shopping there makes me so excited but den now, i am really super broke lo.. hope my mum can finance me a little.. wahaha...
went for tuition in e evening.. at 1st i 'dated' philip to go jog one.. but suddenly feel very tired, in e end i asked him go supper wif me.. wahaha.. anthan, alvin n andrea ( a pretty babe ) join us later at the last min.. aft the supper, we went to seletar reservior to see see look look.. haha.. i had never went there wif my frenz b4 lo.. yest is e 1st time..
but den my mum wan me to be back home early.. tis days i had been going out alot n until very late in e nite lo.. but den she din scold me la, she jux told me to come back early n say will wait until i go home le den will slp lo.. well, that is worse den scolding me lo.. mux really apologise to alvin they all lo.. spoil ur nite le, den cause u cant go drk ur kopi or tea.. hehe.. Gomenasai..
Bro, pai seh lei, no time to get ur present but i will surely get u sth for ur 21st bday one.. hehe.. today at e party, i realise one thing abt Bro.. he can be a very fatherly person lo.. so caring n loving when he carry his little cousins.. 1st time see him like that sia.. make me see another side of him which i find it rare to see it in sch one.. haha.. but come to thk of it, he is really a very nice bro towards me la.. haha..
keep on eating n eating there coz there is alot of food lo.. and the pro is my weight already hit 50 liao sia.. but for Bro's sake, i still eat alot lo.. tml or the few wks aft this i muz really go into serious dieting liao.. my ideal weight is 48 kg.. mux jia you for me.. haha..
yest is another happening day lo.. was late for e maths test becox alvin woke up late.. both of his alarm clock spoilt at e same time lo.. well mayb they are rite, i am cursed lo.. whenever i am going to take his car to sch there is bound to be sth that will happen one.. so sadded...
but the test was damn easy la, so its ok.. wahaha.. den had my lunch wif lynn they all.. i called up the agency to check the package to KL le.. most pro we will go on 1st Oct, which is next sat.. thking of the shopping there makes me so excited but den now, i am really super broke lo.. hope my mum can finance me a little.. wahaha...
went for tuition in e evening.. at 1st i 'dated' philip to go jog one.. but suddenly feel very tired, in e end i asked him go supper wif me.. wahaha.. anthan, alvin n andrea ( a pretty babe ) join us later at the last min.. aft the supper, we went to seletar reservior to see see look look.. haha.. i had never went there wif my frenz b4 lo.. yest is e 1st time..
but den my mum wan me to be back home early.. tis days i had been going out alot n until very late in e nite lo.. but den she din scold me la, she jux told me to come back early n say will wait until i go home le den will slp lo.. well, that is worse den scolding me lo.. mux really apologise to alvin they all lo.. spoil ur nite le, den cause u cant go drk ur kopi or tea.. hehe.. Gomenasai..
Friday, September 23, 2005
study n study~~
still doing my maths qns now.. tml having tis maths test which will not be counted in our final report.. but i am still studying for it coz i wan to know where i am standing..
woke up ard 11 today.. aft the run yest, i really slp beta lo.. thk i should go n exercise more if i haf e chance n company.. i haf too much toxic inside me liao, muz detox.. it was another rainy day today.. was watching tv at home when anthan called me up n asked me for movie which is at 5pm.. i dun mind going la.. since very long never watched movie oso le..
so we met 230 at wlds lib to study 1st.. haha.. thk they muz really thx me lo cox w/o me jioing em to study, dun thk they will start one.. hehe.. we study until 430 den went to get our tix le.. den suddenly i haf tis craving for ya kun bread.. so tis 2 nice guys acc me down to get my bread.. hehe..
den we went into e cinema to watch 'The Myth'.. it last for 2 hrs.. we went to MOS to haf our dinner.. i mus say its fun to go out wif em lo.. esp when anthan is ard, he always make my day lo.. there will always be laughter wif him ard one.. haha.. next time when i am down muz ask him out n cheer me up liao.. hehe..
woke up ard 11 today.. aft the run yest, i really slp beta lo.. thk i should go n exercise more if i haf e chance n company.. i haf too much toxic inside me liao, muz detox.. it was another rainy day today.. was watching tv at home when anthan called me up n asked me for movie which is at 5pm.. i dun mind going la.. since very long never watched movie oso le..
so we met 230 at wlds lib to study 1st.. haha.. thk they muz really thx me lo cox w/o me jioing em to study, dun thk they will start one.. hehe.. we study until 430 den went to get our tix le.. den suddenly i haf tis craving for ya kun bread.. so tis 2 nice guys acc me down to get my bread.. hehe..
den we went into e cinema to watch 'The Myth'.. it last for 2 hrs.. we went to MOS to haf our dinner.. i mus say its fun to go out wif em lo.. esp when anthan is ard, he always make my day lo.. there will always be laughter wif him ard one.. haha.. next time when i am down muz ask him out n cheer me up liao.. hehe..
Thursday, September 22, 2005
i went to jog today~~ big satisfaction~~
aft 2 yrs of not really exercising, i finally fulfil my promise of going to jog.. wahaha.. haf been saying wanna go jog for 2 yrs le.. but den everytime will be TOO lazy to go lo.. finally today, i went to jog........ its really a big satisfaction la.. although i only run abt 4 km n at a very slow pace.. haha.. muz really thx alvin for running wif me n muz praise him for being courageous oso lo.. dare to go run wif me, someone who only run ard her dining table for e past 2 yrs.. but pai seh lei, cox of me he had to run really slow n a really short distance.. hehe..Gome~~
went for pbf lect in e afternoon as usual.. nth unusual happen.. jux that today gt more chance to chat wif melissa.. hehe.. her bf going to overseas soon le.. seeing tis senario, reminds me of last yr, HE had to go overseas for training.. haha..
aft the lecture, i went to meet sebastian, my pool club fren.. we went for dinner at the california pizza.. den went for pool, which is quite a impromptu decision... coz wif my dressing today, i really dun thk i can go play one lo.. but it turn out to be quite alrite la.. din zhou guang~~ hehe.. reached home ard 915 den prepare to go run le.. very long never run liao, really duno wan to wear wat lo.. come to thk of it, i dun haf any exercise attire lo.. thk i mux go get a few of it liao... wahaha...
that's how i spend my supposedly 23rd mth anniversary...... its really so different from last yr lo.. the feelings n stuff... wonder whether he will rem today is wat day or not, mayb he din even know wat is e date for today ba....
went for pbf lect in e afternoon as usual.. nth unusual happen.. jux that today gt more chance to chat wif melissa.. hehe.. her bf going to overseas soon le.. seeing tis senario, reminds me of last yr, HE had to go overseas for training.. haha..
aft the lecture, i went to meet sebastian, my pool club fren.. we went for dinner at the california pizza.. den went for pool, which is quite a impromptu decision... coz wif my dressing today, i really dun thk i can go play one lo.. but it turn out to be quite alrite la.. din zhou guang~~ hehe.. reached home ard 915 den prepare to go run le.. very long never run liao, really duno wan to wear wat lo.. come to thk of it, i dun haf any exercise attire lo.. thk i mux go get a few of it liao... wahaha...
that's how i spend my supposedly 23rd mth anniversary...... its really so different from last yr lo.. the feelings n stuff... wonder whether he will rem today is wat day or not, mayb he din even know wat is e date for today ba....
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
study day at home~~ but its not efficient
stayed at home the whole day.. actually supposed to meet HIM for sushi one.. i make time specially for him liao lo but den he dun appreciate it.. say he found someone to go eat wif him le.. so i jux stayed at home n be a guai daughter.. hehe..
been staying out late n going out very often recently.. thk my mum is not really happy abt it liao.. so today beta stay at home n dun go anywhere.. been studying e whole day lo but its not efficient at all lo.. those passion i once haf for studies duno go where liao lei.. really wish they will come back to me soon.. jux like how i wish my faith n passion towards r/s will come back..
ever since i met HIM n been going out wif him recently.. i realised one thing.. i still haf this tinny winny bit of feelings towards HIM.. i still love HIM to some extent.. but tis love will not go anywhere or progress on like how it did.. i duno how long it will stay in my heart but i jux know that, it wont leave so soon.. i know i am stupid la.... HE already move on n is alot more ahead of me le n i am still sort of like holding onto sth n moving at a very slow pace.. well, that's me ba.. always so stupid...
oh ya.. if we din break up, tis will be our 23rd mth anniversary.. i broke up wif him for ard 3 mth plus le and tis is e 4th time we din celeb our anniversary.. well, its not an anniversary anymore oso liao la.. the day already dun haf any meaning le.. :)
n today is our ms ah shu's 20th bday.. hehe.. HappY B'DaY~~ she finally step into our category liao.. e 2 digit category.. hehe.. so scary rite, into 2 liao lei...... but we are still forever young n pretty.. wahaha...
been staying out late n going out very often recently.. thk my mum is not really happy abt it liao.. so today beta stay at home n dun go anywhere.. been studying e whole day lo but its not efficient at all lo.. those passion i once haf for studies duno go where liao lei.. really wish they will come back to me soon.. jux like how i wish my faith n passion towards r/s will come back..
ever since i met HIM n been going out wif him recently.. i realised one thing.. i still haf this tinny winny bit of feelings towards HIM.. i still love HIM to some extent.. but tis love will not go anywhere or progress on like how it did.. i duno how long it will stay in my heart but i jux know that, it wont leave so soon.. i know i am stupid la.... HE already move on n is alot more ahead of me le n i am still sort of like holding onto sth n moving at a very slow pace.. well, that's me ba.. always so stupid...
oh ya.. if we din break up, tis will be our 23rd mth anniversary.. i broke up wif him for ard 3 mth plus le and tis is e 4th time we din celeb our anniversary.. well, its not an anniversary anymore oso liao la.. the day already dun haf any meaning le.. :)
n today is our ms ah shu's 20th bday.. hehe.. HappY B'DaY~~ she finally step into our category liao.. e 2 digit category.. hehe.. so scary rite, into 2 liao lei...... but we are still forever young n pretty.. wahaha...
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
jux came home~~
haha.. juz reached home an hour ago from supper n ktv session wif alvin, philip n anthan.. hehe.. actually din eat at e prata shop la.. jux sit there drk teh tarik n chit chat lo.. its quite fun to chit chat wif em coz we are all lamers.. hehe..
tis few days kp raining lo.. its so nice for slping late.. haha.. really very man zu can slp so late.. hehe.. went for econs in the afternoon n feel pek cek once again by the lecturer lo.. thk i will really fail my econs liao lo.. den realise i haf been slacking too much le.. muz really buck up n study..
aft econs lect, i rush straight down to lucky plaza for e pool club thing.. the session was fun n i learnt how to hit straight ball today.. not bad.. wahaha.. but den, sometimes my ball will fly out of the table lo.. super sia suay ah...... hee.. played until 8 den me, alvin n philip came back to wlds..
we went to ktv at civics centre n jio anthan along.. hehe.. pai seh lei anthan, drag u out den cause u cant study.. hehe.. thk i today abit crazy at the ktv session la.. pai seh har.. this is e after effect of meeting HIM recently.. we sing from 9 to 1 am in e morning den went to the prata place for supper.. hehe..
muz really apologise to guowei.. sorry for making u wait so long for me.. i really duno wat time i will come home tonight lo.. den i dun wan u to wait until too late for me.. pai seh har.. Gomenasai..
den it comes to HIM, he sms me asking me wat time to meet tml.. i tot its cancel le, coz he say he is going to play basketball tml ma den he oso din sms me anything regarding it lo.. n i already plan to be a nice ger to stay at home n do household chores n study.. i scare if tml i go out again sure will kena scold by my mum lo.. how sia.. i hate to pang se ppl one lo.. n now its really like i pang se him lei.. argh~~ feel so bad..
tis few days kp raining lo.. its so nice for slping late.. haha.. really very man zu can slp so late.. hehe.. went for econs in the afternoon n feel pek cek once again by the lecturer lo.. thk i will really fail my econs liao lo.. den realise i haf been slacking too much le.. muz really buck up n study..
aft econs lect, i rush straight down to lucky plaza for e pool club thing.. the session was fun n i learnt how to hit straight ball today.. not bad.. wahaha.. but den, sometimes my ball will fly out of the table lo.. super sia suay ah...... hee.. played until 8 den me, alvin n philip came back to wlds..
we went to ktv at civics centre n jio anthan along.. hehe.. pai seh lei anthan, drag u out den cause u cant study.. hehe.. thk i today abit crazy at the ktv session la.. pai seh har.. this is e after effect of meeting HIM recently.. we sing from 9 to 1 am in e morning den went to the prata place for supper.. hehe..
muz really apologise to guowei.. sorry for making u wait so long for me.. i really duno wat time i will come home tonight lo.. den i dun wan u to wait until too late for me.. pai seh har.. Gomenasai..
den it comes to HIM, he sms me asking me wat time to meet tml.. i tot its cancel le, coz he say he is going to play basketball tml ma den he oso din sms me anything regarding it lo.. n i already plan to be a nice ger to stay at home n do household chores n study.. i scare if tml i go out again sure will kena scold by my mum lo.. how sia.. i hate to pang se ppl one lo.. n now its really like i pang se him lei.. argh~~ feel so bad..
Sunday, September 18, 2005
i lost in front of him again~~
went out wif the 'ahs' gang today.. been very long since we last haf a proper outing le.. very looking forward to it.. well, as usual me n ah shu reached 1st.. miss ah ma is late n took a cab down.. haha...
we went to eat at pepper lunch.. it was really nice lo.. den i brought them my homemade snow-skined mooncake.. they loved it lo.. wahaha.. ms ah yam here is not the chief chef in the 'ahs' gang for nth one hor.. hehe.. ( oops.. forgot i muz be modest)
aft lunch we went to far east.. really reminds me of our jc days sia.. when e 4 of us get together it will be like so fun n crazy.. wif ah ma's DIM SUM song, ah li's violence towards us and alot more.. wahaha.. its always so fun la.. i am so happy that we are still n behave the same as ever.. time has changed nth to our frenship.. really looking forward to the 'ahs' night gathering at ah ma's house.. it will be so fun lo.. hehe..
aft that i went to meet HIM at Chevron at 5 plus.. i was late for more den half an hour coz of the bus.. he was already there le.. we went to settle e registration thing n went to haf lunch.. came back to cwp n eat mac coz i forgot to bring sth impt to him.. thus we came to cwp so that i can go back n take for him..
i met him at the park nearby my house coz i dun wan to walk all e way back to cwp n gif him the thing.. another reason is i wan to haf a gd tok wif him lo.. but i dun dare to bring up the topic to him.. becoz from how i know him, i know that he will ans me very vague ans or jux kp quiet one lo.. n i am afraid that it will spoil our frenship now.. but, i jux wan to know the truth.. its so contradicting rite... yes it is...
well, finally i ask him how he felt during the period aft we broke up.. like wat i expected, he ans sth vague.. i tried to change subject but duno y, i feel so emotional suddenly n tears filled my eyes.. i looked away n controlled myself from crying.. but i thk he saw my eyes getting watery... argh~~ i lost again.. feel so weak..
he left w/o really clearing my doubts at all.. but mainly due to me, not having the courage to ask him oso.. thk i will not ask him anymore le ba..... aft he left, i remain sitting at the park.. the tears that previously wanted to force their way out of my eyes finally haf their wish fulfilled.... feel damn sad lo.. really wish i can haf a shoulder to cry on very badly lo.....
when i am back home, i watched the korean show by Rain & Song HuiQiao.. damn funny n cute lo.. some of the things they did are jux like wat we did to one another b4 we get together.. kp on bickering n though we are concern abt each other, we will always do the opposite things.. ha.. at least aft watching the show, i am not feeling so bad inside le.. gonna go buy the vcd soon.. hehe.. its really a nice show.. n RAIN is damn shuai...........
we went to eat at pepper lunch.. it was really nice lo.. den i brought them my homemade snow-skined mooncake.. they loved it lo.. wahaha.. ms ah yam here is not the chief chef in the 'ahs' gang for nth one hor.. hehe.. ( oops.. forgot i muz be modest)
aft lunch we went to far east.. really reminds me of our jc days sia.. when e 4 of us get together it will be like so fun n crazy.. wif ah ma's DIM SUM song, ah li's violence towards us and alot more.. wahaha.. its always so fun la.. i am so happy that we are still n behave the same as ever.. time has changed nth to our frenship.. really looking forward to the 'ahs' night gathering at ah ma's house.. it will be so fun lo.. hehe..
aft that i went to meet HIM at Chevron at 5 plus.. i was late for more den half an hour coz of the bus.. he was already there le.. we went to settle e registration thing n went to haf lunch.. came back to cwp n eat mac coz i forgot to bring sth impt to him.. thus we came to cwp so that i can go back n take for him..
i met him at the park nearby my house coz i dun wan to walk all e way back to cwp n gif him the thing.. another reason is i wan to haf a gd tok wif him lo.. but i dun dare to bring up the topic to him.. becoz from how i know him, i know that he will ans me very vague ans or jux kp quiet one lo.. n i am afraid that it will spoil our frenship now.. but, i jux wan to know the truth.. its so contradicting rite... yes it is...
well, finally i ask him how he felt during the period aft we broke up.. like wat i expected, he ans sth vague.. i tried to change subject but duno y, i feel so emotional suddenly n tears filled my eyes.. i looked away n controlled myself from crying.. but i thk he saw my eyes getting watery... argh~~ i lost again.. feel so weak..
he left w/o really clearing my doubts at all.. but mainly due to me, not having the courage to ask him oso.. thk i will not ask him anymore le ba..... aft he left, i remain sitting at the park.. the tears that previously wanted to force their way out of my eyes finally haf their wish fulfilled.... feel damn sad lo.. really wish i can haf a shoulder to cry on very badly lo.....
when i am back home, i watched the korean show by Rain & Song HuiQiao.. damn funny n cute lo.. some of the things they did are jux like wat we did to one another b4 we get together.. kp on bickering n though we are concern abt each other, we will always do the opposite things.. ha.. at least aft watching the show, i am not feeling so bad inside le.. gonna go buy the vcd soon.. hehe.. its really a nice show.. n RAIN is damn shuai...........
Saturday, September 17, 2005
so wat is the truth???
aft wat my fren told me saying that HE is feeling e same towards me.. i tot that HE feel bad towards me for making me do all those stupid things to numb myself n feel upset because i am doing all that.. but i might be wrong...... i might be assuming HE is feeling wat i hope HE will feel towards me when my fren told me the thing.. well, human beings jux like to make themself feel beta, dun they? this is esp so true to us, Gers..... we will like to assume things the way we want em to be.. so wat is the truth??
i am feeling the misery again.. the helplessness..
why HE is always so insensitive..
why is HE so egoistic..
why cant HE realise wat HE did was not appropriate..
why cant HE thk for my sake..
why HE is not giving me the care n concern which i should haf..
why there isnt anyone to tell HIM that HIS attitude n behavior is wrong...
am i really so worthless at all.. that is why HE is not giving me wat i deserve coz HE dun thk i deserve it at all...... this is wat i had been asking myself all this time when i was wif him.... until now, i still dun haf the ans to this qns......
got to know alot of things today, its all abt r/s one... suddenly haf tis 'Gan Chu'....
i dun understand y the love b/w a couple can change so drastically
i believe every couple will haf gone thru this......
they once believe that thier love can withstand anything in the world n last forever..
they love each other so much that they are willing to sacrifice anything for each other..
they cant bear to see the other party get hurt or fall sick..
they are willing to do their best to protect each other...
but........ once the love fade away......
they can jux turn nasty to one another...
they become the one who is hurting us n causing us pain..
they become a stranger who dun gif a damn about wat is happening to us..
all the words of love n promises will turn into malice
that become a sword that pierce thru our heart...
love is actually a very vulnerable thing..
i am feeling the misery again.. the helplessness..
why HE is always so insensitive..
why is HE so egoistic..
why cant HE realise wat HE did was not appropriate..
why cant HE thk for my sake..
why HE is not giving me the care n concern which i should haf..
why there isnt anyone to tell HIM that HIS attitude n behavior is wrong...
am i really so worthless at all.. that is why HE is not giving me wat i deserve coz HE dun thk i deserve it at all...... this is wat i had been asking myself all this time when i was wif him.... until now, i still dun haf the ans to this qns......
got to know alot of things today, its all abt r/s one... suddenly haf tis 'Gan Chu'....
i dun understand y the love b/w a couple can change so drastically
i believe every couple will haf gone thru this......
they once believe that thier love can withstand anything in the world n last forever..
they love each other so much that they are willing to sacrifice anything for each other..
they cant bear to see the other party get hurt or fall sick..
they are willing to do their best to protect each other...
but........ once the love fade away......
they can jux turn nasty to one another...
they become the one who is hurting us n causing us pain..
they become a stranger who dun gif a damn about wat is happening to us..
all the words of love n promises will turn into malice
that become a sword that pierce thru our heart...
love is actually a very vulnerable thing..
Friday, September 16, 2005
i feel so sinful now~~
haha.. i went to eat cheese prata wif guowei jux now.. so sinful sia.......
been eating n eating like nobody business recently.. say want to go exercise but din go for any at all... tis time really gone case liao lo.. haha... no motivation to go exercise at all lo.. esp i am those kind who wont go if i dun haf company one.. cox can jux cancel the exercise session as n when i like.. tis is getting bad........
i muz go sentosa.. only den i will exercise by playing my beloved vball ( but i cant play well) haha... i really miss e sand n sentosa.. super long never go le.. how i wish i can go tis weekend... but gt no ka key lei...
need to mug soon oso le... haven been studying recently.. no mood at all.. esp when i am at home, gt so many temptations.. i muz study outside soon.. alone or wat it doesnt matter...
been eating n eating like nobody business recently.. say want to go exercise but din go for any at all... tis time really gone case liao lo.. haha... no motivation to go exercise at all lo.. esp i am those kind who wont go if i dun haf company one.. cox can jux cancel the exercise session as n when i like.. tis is getting bad........
i muz go sentosa.. only den i will exercise by playing my beloved vball ( but i cant play well) haha... i really miss e sand n sentosa.. super long never go le.. how i wish i can go tis weekend... but gt no ka key lei...
need to mug soon oso le... haven been studying recently.. no mood at all.. esp when i am at home, gt so many temptations.. i muz study outside soon.. alone or wat it doesnt matter...
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
i wan to learn how to make mango pudding~~~
haha.. i had tis very nice mango pudding at Red Star while having dim sum wif my mum today.. it was damn nice lo.. wif e mango inside it.. slurp~~ i haf so many things that i wan to learn now.. cheesecake, mango pudding n alot more~~~ haha
den we went to walk ard chinatown aft that.. i bought a top n a bottom.. i muz really replenish my wardrobe.. wanted to go orchard rd one but my mum was too tired le.. so we jux went home lo.. but b4 tat i went to sembawang n get the ingredients for the mooncake.. thk now my life is all revolving ard food lo.. wahaha...
received a sms from Gan ge~~ abit surprised by his sms and i feel really touched by wat he sms me.. thx for letting me know that u will always be there for me.. tis feeling is so reassuring n nice lo.. thx bro... :)
den we went to walk ard chinatown aft that.. i bought a top n a bottom.. i muz really replenish my wardrobe.. wanted to go orchard rd one but my mum was too tired le.. so we jux went home lo.. but b4 tat i went to sembawang n get the ingredients for the mooncake.. thk now my life is all revolving ard food lo.. wahaha...
received a sms from Gan ge~~ abit surprised by his sms and i feel really touched by wat he sms me.. thx for letting me know that u will always be there for me.. tis feeling is so reassuring n nice lo.. thx bro... :)
Monday, September 12, 2005
i cant slp now~~
duno y i cant slp now... been tossing n turning on my bed so decide to come online n blog..
i tot i am ok le.. but now, not being able to slp overturn my 'verdict' previously.. I met HIM today in e evening at orchard.. i need his Chevron membership card n the authorisation letter to book for my bday chalet next yr... n there is still e Econs notes i need to borrow from him..
i was wif anna at orchard earlier on.. as HE haven reached, i decide to walk anna to e train stn although i told him to meet at e Taka fountain.. while i was on my way back to Taka, he called n his tone really scares me sia.. sounded so angry n pek cek lo.. i tot he waited very long le n was angry wif me lo.. but he jux reached only lo, make me scared for nth sia..
a fren of mine told me sth today which makes me feel relieved n happy.. it was sth abt HIM one.. i am really glad to haf known the truth, although knowing it now wont change anything abt our r.s le but den, i am still very happy to know it lo... hehe..
aft our meeting today, i din feel so empty inside me like last wk.. in fact, i dun feel empty n ' shi luo' at all lo.. i can still happily go meet anna for supper at woodgrove.. n happily watched e Vampire show while arranging my notes.. but when i lie on e bed wif nth to do, i thk of him.. my mind is all abt him lo.. i am not feeling upset n i am not crying like last wk.. but i jux thk of him lo.. why isit so, can anyone tell me? i really duno why i am behaving tis way lei.. i muz say tis sentence again liao.... WAT'S HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN!!
i tot i am ok le.. but now, not being able to slp overturn my 'verdict' previously.. I met HIM today in e evening at orchard.. i need his Chevron membership card n the authorisation letter to book for my bday chalet next yr... n there is still e Econs notes i need to borrow from him..
i was wif anna at orchard earlier on.. as HE haven reached, i decide to walk anna to e train stn although i told him to meet at e Taka fountain.. while i was on my way back to Taka, he called n his tone really scares me sia.. sounded so angry n pek cek lo.. i tot he waited very long le n was angry wif me lo.. but he jux reached only lo, make me scared for nth sia..
a fren of mine told me sth today which makes me feel relieved n happy.. it was sth abt HIM one.. i am really glad to haf known the truth, although knowing it now wont change anything abt our r.s le but den, i am still very happy to know it lo... hehe..
aft our meeting today, i din feel so empty inside me like last wk.. in fact, i dun feel empty n ' shi luo' at all lo.. i can still happily go meet anna for supper at woodgrove.. n happily watched e Vampire show while arranging my notes.. but when i lie on e bed wif nth to do, i thk of him.. my mind is all abt him lo.. i am not feeling upset n i am not crying like last wk.. but i jux thk of him lo.. why isit so, can anyone tell me? i really duno why i am behaving tis way lei.. i muz say tis sentence again liao.... WAT'S HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN!!
Friday, September 09, 2005
yummy mooncakes~~
hehe... i tried making those 'bing pi' mooncakes today n i succeeded... wahaha... so happy sia.. i love to eat mooncake lo.. n now i no need to wait until mid-autumn festival den can eat liao.. wahaha... for a 1st timer, i thk my mooncake taste damn nice lo.. hehe.. got those bakery standard for e taste.. as for the appearance, i believe pratice will do the trick... hehe...
went to sembawang wif my mum today to get the ingredients.. i only buy very little only coz scare later if its e flop at least there wont be so much wastage of food lo.. but heng, it turned out well.. guess my weight will still continue to escalate for e next few days lo.. i still cant stop eating sia.. esp now wif my new recipe ( the mooncake) thk i will eat even more lo... tis time really cham liao la, even e bikini oso wont work le....... i am going to exercise liao... ( i haf been telling myself that for e past 2 yrs but.... ) haiz....
yest i went study wif alvin n philip at civics mac.. wanted to go lib one but it was full liao.. everyone is like studying for their O's n A's lo.. it reminds me of the times when i was studying for my A's wif mr teck.. hehe..
went clubbing at black yest wif vicky, gan ge n guowei... thk i am a little sian abt clubbing liao.. too much of it le.. thk i gonna rest n be a nerd 1st liao... feel like going to sentosa now lo.. i wan to haf my tan back but b4 that, i muz get my FIGURE back 1st... wahaha...
went to sembawang wif my mum today to get the ingredients.. i only buy very little only coz scare later if its e flop at least there wont be so much wastage of food lo.. but heng, it turned out well.. guess my weight will still continue to escalate for e next few days lo.. i still cant stop eating sia.. esp now wif my new recipe ( the mooncake) thk i will eat even more lo... tis time really cham liao la, even e bikini oso wont work le....... i am going to exercise liao... ( i haf been telling myself that for e past 2 yrs but.... ) haiz....
yest i went study wif alvin n philip at civics mac.. wanted to go lib one but it was full liao.. everyone is like studying for their O's n A's lo.. it reminds me of the times when i was studying for my A's wif mr teck.. hehe..
went clubbing at black yest wif vicky, gan ge n guowei... thk i am a little sian abt clubbing liao.. too much of it le.. thk i gonna rest n be a nerd 1st liao... feel like going to sentosa now lo.. i wan to haf my tan back but b4 that, i muz get my FIGURE back 1st... wahaha...
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
i finally got my bikini~~~
i am super broke now liao lo.. spent 85 bucks on my bikini.. argh~~~ i muz really tighten my belt tis mth liao.. haha.. but it is worth it la.. at least i wont be eating so much n i haf been longing to get a new bikini for very long le.. hehe.. n finally i gt sth i like n i thk it suits me.. so so happy~~~~
n there is another gd pt of getting tis bikini.. coz it act as a motivation for me to eat lesser... nowadays i am like a glutton lo.. eat like nobody business.. n my figure is out of shape liao.. argh~~~ not to mention my chubby face lo.. haha.. so now, i will hang the bikini on my wardrobe to remind myself not to eat so much so as to look nice in it.. haha.. cant contain my excitement sia..
but...... i went to haf supper wif my mum at e prata place.. AND i eat a CHEEZE prata...... wif mushroom somemore... haha.. i cant resist the temptation sia, esp towards food.... i told myself that it will be the last day that i will allow myself to eat like this.. from tml onwards, i muz CONTROL... hehe.. not to mention i went to e food festival thing wif my mum at suntec n i ate alot oso... wahaha... lac lac.. today last day of e food festival liao so no more gorging of food for me oso le.. hehe.. ( i am jux consoling myself again la)
but heng, tml going to club wif vicky so at least i can shake some fats off me while dancing.. hehe.. so at least wont feel so guilty now lo.. haiz.. looking at my tummy now really feel so sinful lo.. haha.. so guys n gals, plz remind me all e time not to eat so much... haha.... i will be super grateful to u all...
n there is another gd pt of getting tis bikini.. coz it act as a motivation for me to eat lesser... nowadays i am like a glutton lo.. eat like nobody business.. n my figure is out of shape liao.. argh~~~ not to mention my chubby face lo.. haha.. so now, i will hang the bikini on my wardrobe to remind myself not to eat so much so as to look nice in it.. haha.. cant contain my excitement sia..
but...... i went to haf supper wif my mum at e prata place.. AND i eat a CHEEZE prata...... wif mushroom somemore... haha.. i cant resist the temptation sia, esp towards food.... i told myself that it will be the last day that i will allow myself to eat like this.. from tml onwards, i muz CONTROL... hehe.. not to mention i went to e food festival thing wif my mum at suntec n i ate alot oso... wahaha... lac lac.. today last day of e food festival liao so no more gorging of food for me oso le.. hehe.. ( i am jux consoling myself again la)
but heng, tml going to club wif vicky so at least i can shake some fats off me while dancing.. hehe.. so at least wont feel so guilty now lo.. haiz.. looking at my tummy now really feel so sinful lo.. haha.. so guys n gals, plz remind me all e time not to eat so much... haha.... i will be super grateful to u all...
Monday, September 05, 2005
not feeling so blue today le~~
woke up at 9 plus today.. e feeling of lonelines is still haunting me.. jux that now, its not as strong as yest le.. haiz.. cant help n cried again yest...... really duno how to describe how i am feeling at tis moment lo.. i am happy to see him gettting on fine now.. really.... i dun hate him anymore le.. its really great to haf seen him again.. :) but den... haiz......
as the day goes by, i am feeling beta n beta.. e feeling of loneliness is finally willing to leave me alone bit by bit.. hee.. wonder if i meet him next time will i still haf 2 go thru this all over again?? haha.. if everytime oso like that den really super sianz lo.. hehe...
went to haf my lunch at jack's place wif my mum.. very long never go there eat wif her le.. aft that i went for my tuition wif my kids at rosewood.. the session ended at 6 n i went home 2 slack 1st b4 meeting guowei 4 movie at cwp... we went to watch Herbie Fully Loaded.. quite a funny show la.. i like e wu gui che.... hehe... there is tis stupid game abt wu gui che when i was in jc.. whenever we see a wu gui che, we can 'knock' a person's head unless she/he 'twist'.. wahaha.. very childish rite?? yes but its fun lo.. hehe..
as the day goes by, i am feeling beta n beta.. e feeling of loneliness is finally willing to leave me alone bit by bit.. hee.. wonder if i meet him next time will i still haf 2 go thru this all over again?? haha.. if everytime oso like that den really super sianz lo.. hehe...
went to haf my lunch at jack's place wif my mum.. very long never go there eat wif her le.. aft that i went for my tuition wif my kids at rosewood.. the session ended at 6 n i went home 2 slack 1st b4 meeting guowei 4 movie at cwp... we went to watch Herbie Fully Loaded.. quite a funny show la.. i like e wu gui che.... hehe... there is tis stupid game abt wu gui che when i was in jc.. whenever we see a wu gui che, we can 'knock' a person's head unless she/he 'twist'.. wahaha.. very childish rite?? yes but its fun lo.. hehe..
Sunday, September 04, 2005
i met HIM today~~
woke up at 9 today coz i muz reached cine by 11 for our 02s2 gathering.. haha.. actually is jux a handful of us only la.. not e whole cls.. but it had been a long never ever since so many of us haf a gathering le.. really looking forward to it..
by 11 i reached le.. only see bao ge ge & ah shu there.. e others as usual, were late... we went in to sing 1st.. it was really fun, never hear em sing b4.. fatty neo can sing quite well sia.. haha.. andy n e others jux stone there.. only me, ah li n ah shu kp singing.. haha.. & that ah ma, din come at all lo.. still say wan gathering but in e end din turn up..
he reached n meet me at e ktv wif my jc frenz.. actually they all know each other one.. meeting him at e lift there i was like feeling quite alrite n stuff lo.. not so jia lat like how i met him last time le.. thk time is really e best healer ba.. aft e ktv session, we went to subway n acc bao ge ge they all eat.. during e session me n him din talk at all lo.. he was sitting at e other side of e room..
teck n me left em for dinner on our own at cartel.. we walk from cine to ps... was toking n updating abt our life on our way there.. looking at him, its like nth has ever happened b4.. we still behave like how we used to be when we are a couple, jux that now we cant hold hands n hug each other le.. there is this restriction n limit which we cant cross over lo.. at times i still cant believe we haf broke up..
i still feel very comfortable wif him.. there is no tis awkward feelings which i should be experiencing like wat my fren told me.. my feelings for him now is definitely more den jux a fren.. i still haf some feelings towards him lo.. but i dun thk we will ever get together again liao ba.. it seem like we feel more comfortable the way we are now.. mayb its because i dun haf any expectations towards him le ba.. when u dun haf any expectation u will be happier lo.. why now den i start to realise that? n i am wondering is he feeling e same towards me oso??
he acc me to take train back.. everything was like how it used to be b4 we get together.. how we used to study in town n him acc me taking train back to woodlands.. how i wished time can go back to e past.. when i was alone walking back home from cwp, i felt so lonely n empty deep inside me all of a sudden.. mab tis is e after effect of ex-bf n gf meet aft they broke up ba.. u will cant help but kp thking how things haf changed le.. how different things are now.. i hate tis type of feelings lo.. really hate it.. is he feeling e same too?? i duno.. really duno..
2 yrs back we sort of started our r/s n 2 yrs later, we are back to frenz again.. i feek so terrible again now.. really terrible lo..
by 11 i reached le.. only see bao ge ge & ah shu there.. e others as usual, were late... we went in to sing 1st.. it was really fun, never hear em sing b4.. fatty neo can sing quite well sia.. haha.. andy n e others jux stone there.. only me, ah li n ah shu kp singing.. haha.. & that ah ma, din come at all lo.. still say wan gathering but in e end din turn up..
he reached n meet me at e ktv wif my jc frenz.. actually they all know each other one.. meeting him at e lift there i was like feeling quite alrite n stuff lo.. not so jia lat like how i met him last time le.. thk time is really e best healer ba.. aft e ktv session, we went to subway n acc bao ge ge they all eat.. during e session me n him din talk at all lo.. he was sitting at e other side of e room..
teck n me left em for dinner on our own at cartel.. we walk from cine to ps... was toking n updating abt our life on our way there.. looking at him, its like nth has ever happened b4.. we still behave like how we used to be when we are a couple, jux that now we cant hold hands n hug each other le.. there is this restriction n limit which we cant cross over lo.. at times i still cant believe we haf broke up..
i still feel very comfortable wif him.. there is no tis awkward feelings which i should be experiencing like wat my fren told me.. my feelings for him now is definitely more den jux a fren.. i still haf some feelings towards him lo.. but i dun thk we will ever get together again liao ba.. it seem like we feel more comfortable the way we are now.. mayb its because i dun haf any expectations towards him le ba.. when u dun haf any expectation u will be happier lo.. why now den i start to realise that? n i am wondering is he feeling e same towards me oso??
he acc me to take train back.. everything was like how it used to be b4 we get together.. how we used to study in town n him acc me taking train back to woodlands.. how i wished time can go back to e past.. when i was alone walking back home from cwp, i felt so lonely n empty deep inside me all of a sudden.. mab tis is e after effect of ex-bf n gf meet aft they broke up ba.. u will cant help but kp thking how things haf changed le.. how different things are now.. i hate tis type of feelings lo.. really hate it.. is he feeling e same too?? i duno.. really duno..
2 yrs back we sort of started our r/s n 2 yrs later, we are back to frenz again.. i feek so terrible again now.. really terrible lo..
Saturday, September 03, 2005
我的心开始想你了~~我的心真的受伤了~~
i am feeling so sad now.. feel so lonely.. y is tis happening to me again??
we haf broke up for 12 wks le.. n tml will be the day when we confess to each other 2 yrs back.. time really flies.. 2 yrs have passed le.. jux that now our r/s n love for each other is so diff from 2 yrs back.. everything has changed.. e ppl, e feelings, e heart..... we will never be able to go back to e past again.. feel so helpless..
i still miss him.. as a fren, or more den a fren, i duno.. when am i able to know wat i wan n wat am i thking? well, mayb that is how human beings behave ba.. they always duno wat they really wan n thk....
heard from my fren that he is getting on really well now.. cant help n wonder that is he living his life beta w/o me now? i thk he is ba.. at least he will not haf to change for my sake n w/o me ard he will be more carefree.. mayb r/s will eventually end up tis way ba.. feelings will change as time goes by.. things will not be e same forever one n that includes feelings.. at 1st it will be so nice n swt but eventually it will not be e same anymore..... that's life... u haf no choice but to accept it.. dun u agree?
now, my feelings is jux like e background music.... i am really hurt.... or should i say i am feeling hurt again.. feel like drking now........ feel like crying now..... i need a shoulder again... haiz.....
we haf broke up for 12 wks le.. n tml will be the day when we confess to each other 2 yrs back.. time really flies.. 2 yrs have passed le.. jux that now our r/s n love for each other is so diff from 2 yrs back.. everything has changed.. e ppl, e feelings, e heart..... we will never be able to go back to e past again.. feel so helpless..
i still miss him.. as a fren, or more den a fren, i duno.. when am i able to know wat i wan n wat am i thking? well, mayb that is how human beings behave ba.. they always duno wat they really wan n thk....
heard from my fren that he is getting on really well now.. cant help n wonder that is he living his life beta w/o me now? i thk he is ba.. at least he will not haf to change for my sake n w/o me ard he will be more carefree.. mayb r/s will eventually end up tis way ba.. feelings will change as time goes by.. things will not be e same forever one n that includes feelings.. at 1st it will be so nice n swt but eventually it will not be e same anymore..... that's life... u haf no choice but to accept it.. dun u agree?
now, my feelings is jux like e background music.... i am really hurt.... or should i say i am feeling hurt again.. feel like drking now........ feel like crying now..... i need a shoulder again... haiz.....
it was so fun yest~~ we rockz~~
haha.. never had so much fun during clubbing b4 le.. yest we are really like 4 crazy women on e stage lo.. but it had never been so fun lo.. really enjoyed myself alot..
went for Poa lect in e afternoon for my Gan ge's sake lo.. i can dun go to sch at all one.. but nvm, that's wat sis n bro are for ma.. rite? but he oso very nice la, bring jacket for me.. thx gan ge.. hehe.. i muz really buck up on my studies liao lo.. been slacking for a wk le n i am like lagging le.. cham ah..
i went to amanda's house rite aft my lect.. gonna stay at her house tonight so went there to put my things 1st.. she gt a really CUTE doggie lo.. hehe.. she is so tame n frenly, that's y she always kena bully n tortured by anna.. haiz.. feel pity towards her.. we slacked at her house until 8plus n took a cab down to black le..
the place was already crowded wif ppl liao n e queue is like never ending one lo.. e 1st time i see so many ppl outside queuing into black.. haiz.. i cant imagine e no of ppl in e dance floor later lo, feel abit sian when i thk of that.. luckily we met rouhui's fren n he let us cut queue.. hehe.. so we jux queue for less den half an hour including e time staying there waiting for waiteng, our b'day gal..
e party started at 10 le.. that's mayb e reason y i thk times passes very slowly yest.. gan ge told me that he will be coming bcoz of his fren ah.. i am quite happy coz finally can haf a change to club wif him le.. its like once in a lifetime as he dun really like to go clubbing one n guowei gt psycho by him to come oso.. but they came too late liao as e club is full when they come le.. in e end they went to indochine n chill out..
we went on e stage n dance again.. hehe.. but tis time round is anna who lead us one not me.. feel very pek cek lo coz those ppl there very bu zi dong one.. kp pushing me n i go off e stage instead.. super sianz sia.. but things turned for e beta.. there are this 3 guys whom we thk are very irritating at 1st but they turn out to be really nice in e end.. they sort of 'take care' of us la.. help us 'fight' for space to dance at e dance floor n on e stage oso.. really grateful to em lo or else we wont be able to enjoy dancing so much yest..
e music n ppl was really happening.. gt some retro n salsa song.. e 4 of us kp doing funny things on e stage.. all those retro dance steps n hands movements.. felt so stupid but who cares, no one will know us.. haha.. but den i thk e ppl there were amazed ( actually is shocked la) by us.. wahaha.. it was really very very fun lo.. we were really high yest la..
i met lewis, my pageant fren, while i was dancing on e stage.. he came over n say hello.. haha.. felt abit pai seh sia.. thk he saw me dancing those stupid things.. haha... i muz say that amanda, waiteng n anna were all really great dancer lo.. dun be pian by their studious looks.. lolzx..
we went back to amanda house at 3 am after getting some food from 7-11.. felt hungry aft all e dancing exercise.. hehe.. we celebrated waiteng's bday at amanda's house n had our gals' tok.. thk tis is e 1st time i do that lo.. e feeling is quite gd lo.. in e end i gt knocked out by 6 am.. super duper tired le lo.. cant tahan..
muz say pai seh to philip n anthan.. cant join u all at double O yest.. my fren they all wanna stayed at black.. next time we shall go club together k?
went for Poa lect in e afternoon for my Gan ge's sake lo.. i can dun go to sch at all one.. but nvm, that's wat sis n bro are for ma.. rite? but he oso very nice la, bring jacket for me.. thx gan ge.. hehe.. i muz really buck up on my studies liao lo.. been slacking for a wk le n i am like lagging le.. cham ah..
i went to amanda's house rite aft my lect.. gonna stay at her house tonight so went there to put my things 1st.. she gt a really CUTE doggie lo.. hehe.. she is so tame n frenly, that's y she always kena bully n tortured by anna.. haiz.. feel pity towards her.. we slacked at her house until 8plus n took a cab down to black le..
the place was already crowded wif ppl liao n e queue is like never ending one lo.. e 1st time i see so many ppl outside queuing into black.. haiz.. i cant imagine e no of ppl in e dance floor later lo, feel abit sian when i thk of that.. luckily we met rouhui's fren n he let us cut queue.. hehe.. so we jux queue for less den half an hour including e time staying there waiting for waiteng, our b'day gal..
e party started at 10 le.. that's mayb e reason y i thk times passes very slowly yest.. gan ge told me that he will be coming bcoz of his fren ah.. i am quite happy coz finally can haf a change to club wif him le.. its like once in a lifetime as he dun really like to go clubbing one n guowei gt psycho by him to come oso.. but they came too late liao as e club is full when they come le.. in e end they went to indochine n chill out..
we went on e stage n dance again.. hehe.. but tis time round is anna who lead us one not me.. feel very pek cek lo coz those ppl there very bu zi dong one.. kp pushing me n i go off e stage instead.. super sianz sia.. but things turned for e beta.. there are this 3 guys whom we thk are very irritating at 1st but they turn out to be really nice in e end.. they sort of 'take care' of us la.. help us 'fight' for space to dance at e dance floor n on e stage oso.. really grateful to em lo or else we wont be able to enjoy dancing so much yest..
e music n ppl was really happening.. gt some retro n salsa song.. e 4 of us kp doing funny things on e stage.. all those retro dance steps n hands movements.. felt so stupid but who cares, no one will know us.. haha.. but den i thk e ppl there were amazed ( actually is shocked la) by us.. wahaha.. it was really very very fun lo.. we were really high yest la..
i met lewis, my pageant fren, while i was dancing on e stage.. he came over n say hello.. haha.. felt abit pai seh sia.. thk he saw me dancing those stupid things.. haha... i muz say that amanda, waiteng n anna were all really great dancer lo.. dun be pian by their studious looks.. lolzx..
we went back to amanda house at 3 am after getting some food from 7-11.. felt hungry aft all e dancing exercise.. hehe.. we celebrated waiteng's bday at amanda's house n had our gals' tok.. thk tis is e 1st time i do that lo.. e feeling is quite gd lo.. in e end i gt knocked out by 6 am.. super duper tired le lo.. cant tahan..
muz say pai seh to philip n anthan.. cant join u all at double O yest.. my fren they all wanna stayed at black.. next time we shall go club together k?
Thursday, September 01, 2005
full day in sch~~
tis blog is for yest one.. alvin ( my fuchun senior) shun bian send me to sch coz another of my fuchun senior who take his car to sch every morning live jux 2 blocks away from me.. hehe.. i am so lucky to haf meet em.. they are really nice n easy going lo.. went to crash e maths lect in e morning.. the whole lect is full of pretty gals sia.. really envy those guys in e lect lo.. den i met stephanie in e lect hall oso.. hehe..
it was quite tiring yest sia.. during the pbf lect in e afternoon i am off most of e time lo.. 1st time lei.. tis cannot be done ah.. muz read thru e notes on my own liao la.. argh~~ muz apologise to gan ge n nic.. din wait for em to go back coz i rushing to meet alvin who is waiting for me at e carpark lo.. hehe.. n very pai seh towards alvin n wilson oso coz make em wait for me in e car.. my lect duno y today end later den usual lo.. sianz.. pai sei hor.. hehe..
e moment i reached home i lie flat on e sofa liao lo.. super tired lei.. took an hr nap b4 waking up n had my dinner.. was watching e superstar thing when anthan called me n jio me to ktv.. i agree to it n went straight to meet em.. 1st time i so on lo.. haha.. mayb becoz stay at home oso nth to do ba so rather go out n play.. i am so happy to know so many wlds ppl in sim.. haha..
we started singing at 10 n ended e session at 1am.. they are really very frenly n fun to be wif lo.. haha.. most imptly, they are as lame as me lo.. hee... had alot of fun wif em during e ktv session.. rite aft that we went for supper at woodgrove.. tis is e 3rd day i went there for supper liao lo but i din eat anything tis time round la.. philip came n join us rite aft work.. i am really amazed by his stamina lo.. haha.. we slacked there until 230 n went home le.. by the time i lie on my bed i am damn tired liao sia but i jux cant slp... argh~~~
it was quite tiring yest sia.. during the pbf lect in e afternoon i am off most of e time lo.. 1st time lei.. tis cannot be done ah.. muz read thru e notes on my own liao la.. argh~~ muz apologise to gan ge n nic.. din wait for em to go back coz i rushing to meet alvin who is waiting for me at e carpark lo.. hehe.. n very pai seh towards alvin n wilson oso coz make em wait for me in e car.. my lect duno y today end later den usual lo.. sianz.. pai sei hor.. hehe..
e moment i reached home i lie flat on e sofa liao lo.. super tired lei.. took an hr nap b4 waking up n had my dinner.. was watching e superstar thing when anthan called me n jio me to ktv.. i agree to it n went straight to meet em.. 1st time i so on lo.. haha.. mayb becoz stay at home oso nth to do ba so rather go out n play.. i am so happy to know so many wlds ppl in sim.. haha..
we started singing at 10 n ended e session at 1am.. they are really very frenly n fun to be wif lo.. haha.. most imptly, they are as lame as me lo.. hee... had alot of fun wif em during e ktv session.. rite aft that we went for supper at woodgrove.. tis is e 3rd day i went there for supper liao lo but i din eat anything tis time round la.. philip came n join us rite aft work.. i am really amazed by his stamina lo.. haha.. we slacked there until 230 n went home le.. by the time i lie on my bed i am damn tired liao sia but i jux cant slp... argh~~~
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
i am once again so DEMORALISED~~
yest i went study wif rouhui.. i am so motivated to study my econs lo....... but today, that lecturer demoralise me again.. her aim is to make us more confused lo.. only den she will be happy n is willing to let us off sia.. i haf never been so pek cek b4 lo.. argh~~~ wat's gonna happen to me if tis continues.... i need help super badly now....
met anna at clementi n came back together wif Lynn n her frenz.. they were going back to YJC for floorball.. came home n rest for an hr plus den went for my tuition le.. e session was quite alrite today.. rite aft that i went to e prata shop to wait for anna n guowei.. they both suggested to go for prata lo.. so i jux go along, its so near my house anyway...
anna is really in my shoe now lo.. she is jux going thru wat i went thru wif teck last time.. jux that mine is more extreme in some ways lo.. ( coz i am more stupid ba.. ) seeing her like that makes me thk of my past wif him n how i struggle in e r/s lo.. i can really understand how she is feeling now.. helpless should be the word ba.. but den, she is more lucky coz at least she knows his fren n can ask em their opinion.. for me, i am all alone lo..
met anna at clementi n came back together wif Lynn n her frenz.. they were going back to YJC for floorball.. came home n rest for an hr plus den went for my tuition le.. e session was quite alrite today.. rite aft that i went to e prata shop to wait for anna n guowei.. they both suggested to go for prata lo.. so i jux go along, its so near my house anyway...
anna is really in my shoe now lo.. she is jux going thru wat i went thru wif teck last time.. jux that mine is more extreme in some ways lo.. ( coz i am more stupid ba.. ) seeing her like that makes me thk of my past wif him n how i struggle in e r/s lo.. i can really understand how she is feeling now.. helpless should be the word ba.. but den, she is more lucky coz at least she knows his fren n can ask em their opinion.. for me, i am all alone lo..
Monday, August 29, 2005
the test results~~
i went to take a mind test n this is e results :
You tend to have mixed feelings about relationships. A part of you may want to have a close, loving relationship, but another part of you may be somewhat uncomfortable with commitment. It's also likely that you are afraid others will let you down or abandon you. Although you tend to be open to relationships, you may not easily reveal the true you, and potential partners are likely to be intrigued about discovering the person you are deep down.
31% of those who have taken our test share this style of attachment.
Your answers on our test show that when it comes to relationships you are still wrestling with some of your earliest attachment issues. While you may have resolved some issues, there is still room to grow and you have the potential to develop healthier relationship patterns.
to some extent, this test is so true sia.. i really hit e nail on my 'heart'.. argh~~~
You tend to have mixed feelings about relationships. A part of you may want to have a close, loving relationship, but another part of you may be somewhat uncomfortable with commitment. It's also likely that you are afraid others will let you down or abandon you. Although you tend to be open to relationships, you may not easily reveal the true you, and potential partners are likely to be intrigued about discovering the person you are deep down.
31% of those who have taken our test share this style of attachment.
Your answers on our test show that when it comes to relationships you are still wrestling with some of your earliest attachment issues. While you may have resolved some issues, there is still room to grow and you have the potential to develop healthier relationship patterns.
to some extent, this test is so true sia.. i really hit e nail on my 'heart'.. argh~~~
Sunday, August 28, 2005
i miss my blog~~
hee.. haven been updating for 3 days le.. coz too busy n my dad is using e comp yest lo.. so cant online.. let's start wif wat happen on fri..
anna came over to SIM.. hehe.. and that day was e graduation day for RMIT ppl.. it was really happening at e lobby there lo.. Lynn, Huiyuan n me were all busy looking at e food n our seniors.. haha.. some of em are quite gd looking lo.. hehe.. but so sad, they grad liao.. haiz.. no chance sia.. wahaha..
went to orchard wif anna straight aft sch.. go eat den shop ard lo.. not much things to do in orchard recently.. haiz.. abit sian of that place already lo.. den we went back to wlds for prata.. coz ms anna is craving for the LALA lo.. n we had a gals tok there at the prata place as usual.. haha..
by the time i came back home its already 12 liao.. super tired sia.. wanted to watch e SCV show at 130 one.. but aft finish writing the notes at 120, i am so beat liao lo.. cant even open my eyes for another min sia.. in e end haf to forsake my show.. argh~~ miss an episode sia..
Sat as per normal is our KTV day.. today zhiwei din join us for e ktv session.. so its only me, guowei n vicky.. haha.. Lam (Johnathan) came over to crash our session during his break.. me n vicky was impressed by him singing the Xu Zhi An song lo.. it's really nice.. but his Mo Ri Zi Lian which i pinned alot of hope on buang.. its very different as compared to e other day when he sing tis song.. erm.. mayb yest he din warmed up enuff la.. but nvm, i believe i will haf a chance to hear him sing it nicely again.. hehe..
aft the ktv i was supposed to haf my dinner wif vicky one.. but her bf wanted her to join him for his family dinner.. so i am along~~~ actually tot of asking Teck out for dinner one but.......... no courage la.. mayb its still not time for us to meet yet coz..... my mood will still get influenced by him lo.. actually i felt abit down yest aft smsing wif him for e whole day.. argh~~~ wat is tis.....
so i tot of joining gan they all for dinner wif their frenz.... i muz really apologise to guowei here lo.. sorry for making u sia suay yest sia.. haha.. i am such a clumsy, blur n jia lat 'gf'.. haha.. pai sei pai sei.. make u bear wif those shit which u shouldnt be bearing.. it was all gan's fault la.. came up wif that stupid idea.. haha.. ( thk aft seeing tis gan will kill me in sch sia..)
today is my STUDY day.. me n rouhui went to e National Library.. it was such a disappointment lo.. we cant bring our bags n NOTES into the reference book level lo.. bags i can understand la. but NOTES.. wat is tis lo... really sian sia.. in e end we walked to PS n study at Starbucks.. today i studies Econs.. it is progresing well & i am once motivated again liao.. haha.. study until 4 den we left le.. i went to meet anna ay amk for pool wif her fren while rouhui went back home to prepare for a nite out at the sailing club.. argh~~ so envy sia.. hey gal, muz grab the chance n "FISH".. wahaha..
i super long never play pool liao lo.. really disgrace myself at the pool centrre today.. throw face ah.. haha.. play until 630 den we went back to cwp le.. finally had my 1st proper meal of e day.. e whole day i only eat a bread lo.. no time to eat n nth to eat in e morning..
anna came over to SIM.. hehe.. and that day was e graduation day for RMIT ppl.. it was really happening at e lobby there lo.. Lynn, Huiyuan n me were all busy looking at e food n our seniors.. haha.. some of em are quite gd looking lo.. hehe.. but so sad, they grad liao.. haiz.. no chance sia.. wahaha..
went to orchard wif anna straight aft sch.. go eat den shop ard lo.. not much things to do in orchard recently.. haiz.. abit sian of that place already lo.. den we went back to wlds for prata.. coz ms anna is craving for the LALA lo.. n we had a gals tok there at the prata place as usual.. haha..
by the time i came back home its already 12 liao.. super tired sia.. wanted to watch e SCV show at 130 one.. but aft finish writing the notes at 120, i am so beat liao lo.. cant even open my eyes for another min sia.. in e end haf to forsake my show.. argh~~ miss an episode sia..
Sat as per normal is our KTV day.. today zhiwei din join us for e ktv session.. so its only me, guowei n vicky.. haha.. Lam (Johnathan) came over to crash our session during his break.. me n vicky was impressed by him singing the Xu Zhi An song lo.. it's really nice.. but his Mo Ri Zi Lian which i pinned alot of hope on buang.. its very different as compared to e other day when he sing tis song.. erm.. mayb yest he din warmed up enuff la.. but nvm, i believe i will haf a chance to hear him sing it nicely again.. hehe..
aft the ktv i was supposed to haf my dinner wif vicky one.. but her bf wanted her to join him for his family dinner.. so i am along~~~ actually tot of asking Teck out for dinner one but.......... no courage la.. mayb its still not time for us to meet yet coz..... my mood will still get influenced by him lo.. actually i felt abit down yest aft smsing wif him for e whole day.. argh~~~ wat is tis.....
so i tot of joining gan they all for dinner wif their frenz.... i muz really apologise to guowei here lo.. sorry for making u sia suay yest sia.. haha.. i am such a clumsy, blur n jia lat 'gf'.. haha.. pai sei pai sei.. make u bear wif those shit which u shouldnt be bearing.. it was all gan's fault la.. came up wif that stupid idea.. haha.. ( thk aft seeing tis gan will kill me in sch sia..)
today is my STUDY day.. me n rouhui went to e National Library.. it was such a disappointment lo.. we cant bring our bags n NOTES into the reference book level lo.. bags i can understand la. but NOTES.. wat is tis lo... really sian sia.. in e end we walked to PS n study at Starbucks.. today i studies Econs.. it is progresing well & i am once motivated again liao.. haha.. study until 4 den we left le.. i went to meet anna ay amk for pool wif her fren while rouhui went back home to prepare for a nite out at the sailing club.. argh~~ so envy sia.. hey gal, muz grab the chance n "FISH".. wahaha..
i super long never play pool liao lo.. really disgrace myself at the pool centrre today.. throw face ah.. haha.. play until 630 den we went back to cwp le.. finally had my 1st proper meal of e day.. e whole day i only eat a bread lo.. no time to eat n nth to eat in e morning..
the thing that u cannot get in ur life
will always be the best..
為什麼人總在失去以後
才知道珍惜..
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
e feeling of straightening ur tots out is so gd~~
yeah~~ i finally straighten my thoughts liao.. i haf never felt so gd n relief b4 for more den half a yr le... i am so happy now.. haha.. n e amazing thing is that i straighten my tots while on my way home today..
for e past few mths b4 i broke up wif teck till i broke up to him.. i haf been feeling so miserable lo.. even aft i broke up wif him le.. my heart still feel damn hurt n i jux cant let go lo.. keep on indulging myself in clubbing n numbing myself.. haiz.. it was really the lowest pt in my life la.. but now, i am back again.. wahaha..
come to thk of it, our r/s wasn't that bad oso ma.. at least we really love each other alot b4 n there were some really beautiful n sweet memories lo.. i should be grateful lo.. coz i haf all those memories n no one can take that away from me no matter wat.. Mc's word came to my mind again today.. he say to me " falling in love and be loved is e best thing that can happen to anyone.." today i finally understand it n agree to that totally..... its so slow of me rite.. only understand it now.. haha.. ( MC, pai seh har, i took so long to understand ur words... but i am really grateful la.. hee. thx....)
i sms teck today.. although we cant be lovers anymore, we are still frenz ma.. and i thk i should not run away from tis anymore.. facing the problem is e only way to solve to problem.. guess i am prepared to see n meet him as a fren le.. its time to really let go liao lo.. no pt brooding over n regret over a past r/s.. in fact we should look forward to the next one.. haha..
dun worry guys, i am not very against r/s now liao.. i wont go n do stupid things to numb myself again.. hehe.. but at tis moment i am still the chairman of the club..... so guowei, dun be happy so soon k? wahaha.....
for e past few mths b4 i broke up wif teck till i broke up to him.. i haf been feeling so miserable lo.. even aft i broke up wif him le.. my heart still feel damn hurt n i jux cant let go lo.. keep on indulging myself in clubbing n numbing myself.. haiz.. it was really the lowest pt in my life la.. but now, i am back again.. wahaha..
come to thk of it, our r/s wasn't that bad oso ma.. at least we really love each other alot b4 n there were some really beautiful n sweet memories lo.. i should be grateful lo.. coz i haf all those memories n no one can take that away from me no matter wat.. Mc's word came to my mind again today.. he say to me " falling in love and be loved is e best thing that can happen to anyone.." today i finally understand it n agree to that totally..... its so slow of me rite.. only understand it now.. haha.. ( MC, pai seh har, i took so long to understand ur words... but i am really grateful la.. hee. thx....)
i sms teck today.. although we cant be lovers anymore, we are still frenz ma.. and i thk i should not run away from tis anymore.. facing the problem is e only way to solve to problem.. guess i am prepared to see n meet him as a fren le.. its time to really let go liao lo.. no pt brooding over n regret over a past r/s.. in fact we should look forward to the next one.. haha..
dun worry guys, i am not very against r/s now liao.. i wont go n do stupid things to numb myself again.. hehe.. but at tis moment i am still the chairman of the club..... so guowei, dun be happy so soon k? wahaha.....
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
i finish my PBF assignment~~~
wa.. its such a big accomplishment lo.. haha.. i took ard, let me see... 3 hours to finish one qns sia.. haha.. ok la.. i admit i din concn while doing it.. i still gt chat wif my frenz n surf e net while working on it.. hehe..
woke up at 1030 today ah.. haha.. feel damn man zu lo.. e weather this couple of days is really gd for slping la.. den i slp quite late, ard 230 yest ma.. so not very guo fen oso lo.. hehe.. actually wanted to go civic centre to get my bank draft and study one but e weather made me super lazy lo.. in e end i din step out of my house today.. hehe.. but den i gt help out in e household chores lo.. see i am so nice.. :) but no need praise me or else i will shy one.. wahaha...
thk u all buay tahan liao rite.. okok.. i will TRY to be modest.. wanna study econs today one, but den i feel really demoralised by my lecturer yest lo.. den super no mood to study ah.. cham liao la.. if this continues, i will not get my 1st class honours lo.. thk i beta go crash ppl's lect n see which lecturer is beta.. haiz...
life is really so sian for me now.. really looking forward to my term break.. n there is a bad news..... i cant go KL liao la.. miss ah ma's term break is 1 wk later den me lo.. so....... i cant go shopping liao.. so sadded.. argh~~~ oh ya.. i am looking forward to going to sentosa sia.. esp wif the vball gang.. really very long never go wif em liao.. sort of miss the days we went to sentosa almost twice a mth lo.. haiz.. those were e days.. hehe..
yang quick quick organise one on one of tis sat den weng can come join us.. hehe..
woke up at 1030 today ah.. haha.. feel damn man zu lo.. e weather this couple of days is really gd for slping la.. den i slp quite late, ard 230 yest ma.. so not very guo fen oso lo.. hehe.. actually wanted to go civic centre to get my bank draft and study one but e weather made me super lazy lo.. in e end i din step out of my house today.. hehe.. but den i gt help out in e household chores lo.. see i am so nice.. :) but no need praise me or else i will shy one.. wahaha...
thk u all buay tahan liao rite.. okok.. i will TRY to be modest.. wanna study econs today one, but den i feel really demoralised by my lecturer yest lo.. den super no mood to study ah.. cham liao la.. if this continues, i will not get my 1st class honours lo.. thk i beta go crash ppl's lect n see which lecturer is beta.. haiz...
life is really so sian for me now.. really looking forward to my term break.. n there is a bad news..... i cant go KL liao la.. miss ah ma's term break is 1 wk later den me lo.. so....... i cant go shopping liao.. so sadded.. argh~~~ oh ya.. i am looking forward to going to sentosa sia.. esp wif the vball gang.. really very long never go wif em liao.. sort of miss the days we went to sentosa almost twice a mth lo.. haiz.. those were e days.. hehe..
yang quick quick organise one on one of tis sat den weng can come join us.. hehe..
i haf made up my mind~~
yesh~~ i haf decided.... to stay on n be e chairman of my 'single but can flirt' club.. pai sei har guowei, u cant take over n be e chairman any sooner haha.. continue to be a trainer ba.. hee.. we will work hard together to expand our club n train our member to be a great player k? Jia You!!!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
i am feeling so bad now~~
woke up at 1130 today.. n e weather is cloudy n grey.. jux like how i am feeling deep inside of me.. been having mixed feelings recently, if tis kps going on thk i sooner or later will turn crazy ah.. haha..
din go study wif zhiwei today.. he pang se me again.. argh~~ i din study in e afternoon, no mood to study or do anything at all.. ti bu qi jing lei.. so i jux went to take a 2 hr nap.. aft e nap, i feel much beta le but still gloomy la.. help my mum cook e sphegetti n finally eat my 1st complete meal today.. hee.. so u all know y i am so skinny liao ba..
i finally pluck up my courage to call him.. been having misunderstanding n stuffs la n i thk its beta to clarify things rather den let things hang in e air lo.. or else i will feel very xin ku la.. we had a short tok over e phone.. although din tok much n i din say everything i wanna say but den at least i am clear abt sth lo.. its beta den knowing nth at all.. guess we jux meet each other at e wrong timing lo.. he is really a nice guy la n i feel quite stupid to 'push' him away lo.. haiz.. n i oso feel guilty for making him so demoralise.. i am such a baddie lo.. argh~~
din go study wif zhiwei today.. he pang se me again.. argh~~ i din study in e afternoon, no mood to study or do anything at all.. ti bu qi jing lei.. so i jux went to take a 2 hr nap.. aft e nap, i feel much beta le but still gloomy la.. help my mum cook e sphegetti n finally eat my 1st complete meal today.. hee.. so u all know y i am so skinny liao ba..
i finally pluck up my courage to call him.. been having misunderstanding n stuffs la n i thk its beta to clarify things rather den let things hang in e air lo.. or else i will feel very xin ku la.. we had a short tok over e phone.. although din tok much n i din say everything i wanna say but den at least i am clear abt sth lo.. its beta den knowing nth at all.. guess we jux meet each other at e wrong timing lo.. he is really a nice guy la n i feel quite stupid to 'push' him away lo.. haiz.. n i oso feel guilty for making him so demoralise.. i am such a baddie lo.. argh~~
i enjoyed myself so much today~~
now i am waiting for my hair to dry.. jux came back from my clubbing session.. so meanwhile decide to come online n blog.. haha.. coz i scare tml i will forget abt some details or things liao.. hee..
yeah.. really enjoyed myself alot today lo.. hee.. went to ktv wif guowei, vicky n zhiwei.. i am so excited abt it.. coz really very long never go sing ktv wif zhiwei liao den i oso wanna intro him to guowei they all la.. so there will be new blood in e ktv gang.. haha..
met guowei at admiralty stn n went down together.. intend to go cuppage sing one but den coz guowei, our coordinator din book e place so there is no more rooms for us le.. in e end we went to cine kbox.. e ktv session was both fun n amazing.. haha.. vicky really make my day lo.. she is always so fun to be wif.. n zhiwei mesmerise us wif his singing again.. haha.. thk he din fail in doing that to me b4 lo.. haha..
aft e ktv, guowei left us shortly le.. so we jux walked ard n ended up back in cine to haf our dinner wif kennie.. we walked ard orchard n i met andy who is going to chinablack for e party lo.. wow, really tempted me to go there lo.. argh~~ we went to gallery hotel at 10 lo.. n e club is not open yet!! waited outside for more den 45 min b4 we started queuing.. hee.. anna n waiteng came to find us at e place.. so happy they came lo, really miss clubbing wif em.. den edward n philip oso came to join us.. they are my senior in sec sch n were invited by anna to come..
e place is quite nice but abit too small la.. n i muz tell u all, vicky really can dance damn well lo.. i am so impressed n attracted by her.. ( even me like that liao.. thk e guys there~~ hee) dun dare to dance beside her ah.. such a big difference lo.. haha.. erm.. muz apologise to zhiwei for spoiling ur market.. haha.. if i am not dancing wif u den i bet gals will come to know u lo.. BUT... even when dancing wif me, a GUY came over n get his no...... yes, its a GUY... so demoralising lo.. a guy wanted his no. n not MINE.. haiz.. i muz really jian tao jian tao liao..
we dance until 2 like that den went back le.. vicky was already downstairs waiting for us le.. hee.. muz really thx her super nice bf for sending me n anna back home.. really envy her alot lo.. hee.. gt such a nice n caring bf.. haha.. seeing em so loving i really had an urge to get into a r/s.. haha.. (fantasizing only la.. say wan will haf one meh.. ) but haiz, its hard to haf such a gd bf lei.. dun thk i am so lucky like her la.. hee..
wa.. my hair almost dry liao.. thk can go Zzzzz... gd nitez den.. hee.. *muackz*
yeah.. really enjoyed myself alot today lo.. hee.. went to ktv wif guowei, vicky n zhiwei.. i am so excited abt it.. coz really very long never go sing ktv wif zhiwei liao den i oso wanna intro him to guowei they all la.. so there will be new blood in e ktv gang.. haha..
met guowei at admiralty stn n went down together.. intend to go cuppage sing one but den coz guowei, our coordinator din book e place so there is no more rooms for us le.. in e end we went to cine kbox.. e ktv session was both fun n amazing.. haha.. vicky really make my day lo.. she is always so fun to be wif.. n zhiwei mesmerise us wif his singing again.. haha.. thk he din fail in doing that to me b4 lo.. haha..
aft e ktv, guowei left us shortly le.. so we jux walked ard n ended up back in cine to haf our dinner wif kennie.. we walked ard orchard n i met andy who is going to chinablack for e party lo.. wow, really tempted me to go there lo.. argh~~ we went to gallery hotel at 10 lo.. n e club is not open yet!! waited outside for more den 45 min b4 we started queuing.. hee.. anna n waiteng came to find us at e place.. so happy they came lo, really miss clubbing wif em.. den edward n philip oso came to join us.. they are my senior in sec sch n were invited by anna to come..
e place is quite nice but abit too small la.. n i muz tell u all, vicky really can dance damn well lo.. i am so impressed n attracted by her.. ( even me like that liao.. thk e guys there~~ hee) dun dare to dance beside her ah.. such a big difference lo.. haha.. erm.. muz apologise to zhiwei for spoiling ur market.. haha.. if i am not dancing wif u den i bet gals will come to know u lo.. BUT... even when dancing wif me, a GUY came over n get his no...... yes, its a GUY... so demoralising lo.. a guy wanted his no. n not MINE.. haiz.. i muz really jian tao jian tao liao..
we dance until 2 like that den went back le.. vicky was already downstairs waiting for us le.. hee.. muz really thx her super nice bf for sending me n anna back home.. really envy her alot lo.. hee.. gt such a nice n caring bf.. haha.. seeing em so loving i really had an urge to get into a r/s.. haha.. (fantasizing only la.. say wan will haf one meh.. ) but haiz, its hard to haf such a gd bf lei.. dun thk i am so lucky like her la.. hee..
wa.. my hair almost dry liao.. thk can go Zzzzz... gd nitez den.. hee.. *muackz*
Friday, August 19, 2005
i am back again~~
finally i am not having moodswing today le.. but his attitude really makes me quite upset n sian la.. no i should say damn upset lo.. i am trying my best to clarify everything but den he deprive me of e chance lo.. or should i say he din even gif me a chance lo.. :( so sadded.. haiz..
but i oso see n begin to take things at its stride le n not to be so si xin yan lo.. esp aft today, i thk should jux open up my options n look ard oso.. like wat yang n a few fren say, i should jux take my time n enjoy my single life ba.. if sth is meant to be it will lo.. if not den no pt hanging on n harping on it.. jux let nature takes it course ba.. no more expectation den there will not be any disappointment..
oh ya.. tml is my 10th week into singlehood.. haha.. time really flies sia, i haven seen him for more den 2 mth le.. sometimes will still wonder how is he getting along.. well, in a context of a fren n nth more la.. i haf no more hope for him le.. wat past is past le, i am not going to look back anymore coz that will only make me more miserable.. n tml my day is pack wif prog.. so happy..
haha.. gonna go clubbing wif vicky at liquidroom.. really looking forward to it lo, finally can unwind le.. been under some stress recently n i thk i really need a drk.. haha.. so tml i will drk till i drop.. wahaha.. ( gonna disgrace myself again liao) erm.. n in e afternoon there will be a ktv session again.. hee.. really super looking forward to tml.. thk it will gonna be very very fun.. well, really hope anna n waiteng can join me tml at e club.. haha.. i still rem our clubbing experience at chinablack.. it was damn funny.. hee... hope tml we can relive it again.. :)
but i oso see n begin to take things at its stride le n not to be so si xin yan lo.. esp aft today, i thk should jux open up my options n look ard oso.. like wat yang n a few fren say, i should jux take my time n enjoy my single life ba.. if sth is meant to be it will lo.. if not den no pt hanging on n harping on it.. jux let nature takes it course ba.. no more expectation den there will not be any disappointment..
oh ya.. tml is my 10th week into singlehood.. haha.. time really flies sia, i haven seen him for more den 2 mth le.. sometimes will still wonder how is he getting along.. well, in a context of a fren n nth more la.. i haf no more hope for him le.. wat past is past le, i am not going to look back anymore coz that will only make me more miserable.. n tml my day is pack wif prog.. so happy..
haha.. gonna go clubbing wif vicky at liquidroom.. really looking forward to it lo, finally can unwind le.. been under some stress recently n i thk i really need a drk.. haha.. so tml i will drk till i drop.. wahaha.. ( gonna disgrace myself again liao) erm.. n in e afternoon there will be a ktv session again.. hee.. really super looking forward to tml.. thk it will gonna be very very fun.. well, really hope anna n waiteng can join me tml at e club.. haha.. i still rem our clubbing experience at chinablack.. it was damn funny.. hee... hope tml we can relive it again.. :)
Thursday, August 18, 2005
i feel like closing myself up again~~~
aft a gd nite slp yest, i felt much beta n not so upset le.. mayb gals really haf pms ba.. haha.. they will jux haf moodswing.. but i never really encounter a moodswing like tis b4 lo.. erm.. mayb i am really becoming more n more feminine le.. that is y i gt moodswing.. wahaha.. being lame again la..
my msn nick today is --
a player n a clubber.. which one is me?? mayb its both~~
feeling demoralise liao lo.. everyone is like saying i am a clubber n player lo.. but i am not one lo.. so sadded.. haiz.. erm.. mayb i should try to become one ba.. since everyone thk that way le.. haha.. i really very lazy to go explain myself le.. so jux let it be ba.. hee..
i gt tis feeling of closing up myself n return back to e clubber me again.. ha.. i know alot of ppl is going to scold me liao rite?? argh~~ i oso duno lei.. i jux know that recently i tried to open up n break down e wall which i had built ard me.. it did goes on well at 1st but now i am feel demoralise again liao.. jia lat ah~~~
tot of having a gd chat wif him tonight but den my efforts is not being appreciated at all.. why i muz i go bang myself in e wall again? why muz i call him to make sure things are fine jux like how i always did to teck? why am i like reverting back to e old ways again? argh~~ tis is so sickening n is damn sickening.. argh~~~ why am i trying again when i am telling myself to close up? jux wat am i thking?? guess i should really close myself up n become e player again..
tis is my 3rd wk in sch le.. n life is fun n more lively as compared to last time lo.. for e past 1.5 yrs i had been living e life of an auntie lo.. not a teen.. now i feel so energized.. muz really enjoy my life now.. i dun wan to haf any regrets in e future lo..
my msn nick today is --
a player n a clubber.. which one is me?? mayb its both~~
feeling demoralise liao lo.. everyone is like saying i am a clubber n player lo.. but i am not one lo.. so sadded.. haiz.. erm.. mayb i should try to become one ba.. since everyone thk that way le.. haha.. i really very lazy to go explain myself le.. so jux let it be ba.. hee..
i gt tis feeling of closing up myself n return back to e clubber me again.. ha.. i know alot of ppl is going to scold me liao rite?? argh~~ i oso duno lei.. i jux know that recently i tried to open up n break down e wall which i had built ard me.. it did goes on well at 1st but now i am feel demoralise again liao.. jia lat ah~~~
tot of having a gd chat wif him tonight but den my efforts is not being appreciated at all.. why i muz i go bang myself in e wall again? why muz i call him to make sure things are fine jux like how i always did to teck? why am i like reverting back to e old ways again? argh~~ tis is so sickening n is damn sickening.. argh~~~ why am i trying again when i am telling myself to close up? jux wat am i thking?? guess i should really close myself up n become e player again..
tis is my 3rd wk in sch le.. n life is fun n more lively as compared to last time lo.. for e past 1.5 yrs i had been living e life of an auntie lo.. not a teen.. now i feel so energized.. muz really enjoy my life now.. i dun wan to haf any regrets in e future lo..
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
argh~~
ya.. that's wat i am feeling now.. argh~~
why is everything becoming so real now.. super jia lat lei.. i hate to go thk of it but i muz lo.. i hate to go n thk abt e possiblity of getting hurt again but den.... i muz.. no matter wat, there will be a chance of me getting hurt if i become serious again.. i am so scare lo.. i really duno wat to do now.. i wan to be serious but e feeling of getting hurt is really too much for me to bear again.. i dun wan to cry every nite like how i used to lo.. wat should i do now.. can anyone enlighten me??
e past r/s really makes me very afraid of getting into one again.. e feeling of crying every nite is still so vivid lo.. n e wound..... haiz.. its so painful... even now, my heart can feel e pain n impact of it.. wif my current situation i really cant take another blow.. or else i am afraid i will not be able to get up again lo.. i really hope he can be e one who will heal my wound n make me forget abt e past but on e other hand, i am being haunted by e past experience.. haiz.. jux wat i wan sia... e only thing i know now is, i am really feeling very vulnerable..
why is everything becoming so real now.. super jia lat lei.. i hate to go thk of it but i muz lo.. i hate to go n thk abt e possiblity of getting hurt again but den.... i muz.. no matter wat, there will be a chance of me getting hurt if i become serious again.. i am so scare lo.. i really duno wat to do now.. i wan to be serious but e feeling of getting hurt is really too much for me to bear again.. i dun wan to cry every nite like how i used to lo.. wat should i do now.. can anyone enlighten me??
e past r/s really makes me very afraid of getting into one again.. e feeling of crying every nite is still so vivid lo.. n e wound..... haiz.. its so painful... even now, my heart can feel e pain n impact of it.. wif my current situation i really cant take another blow.. or else i am afraid i will not be able to get up again lo.. i really hope he can be e one who will heal my wound n make me forget abt e past but on e other hand, i am being haunted by e past experience.. haiz.. jux wat i wan sia... e only thing i know now is, i am really feeling very vulnerable..
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
wow.. i need to unwind.. hee..
wow.. its really amazing lo.. i had been revising my notes for e past few days.. jux like how i studied for my A's in e past.. hee.. but now i only start sch for like 2 wks only lo.. haha.. wonder how i will survive if exam is coming.. haha.. thk i will be super super stressed lo..
today actually wanted to go 2 e arts bash at momo wif anna one.. but my mum told me if wan to play go on weekend lo.. well, her word is quite true la.. weekday is meant for study one.. haha.. but i really feel like clubbing so much sia.. dun worry guys~~ tis time round, my mentality is diff le.. not to numb myself anymore but jux to unwind la.. hee.. i am slowly recovering le.. haiz.. time is really e best healer in e world for r/s.. n i thk its e only healer oso ba.. haha.. now, i dun feel as hurt n sad as b4 le.. but at times, i will still feel very extreme towards r/s lei.. die sia.. haha.. if i continue to be like tis thk i really gonna be a nun liao la.. haha..
today actually wanted to go 2 e arts bash at momo wif anna one.. but my mum told me if wan to play go on weekend lo.. well, her word is quite true la.. weekday is meant for study one.. haha.. but i really feel like clubbing so much sia.. dun worry guys~~ tis time round, my mentality is diff le.. not to numb myself anymore but jux to unwind la.. hee.. i am slowly recovering le.. haiz.. time is really e best healer in e world for r/s.. n i thk its e only healer oso ba.. haha.. now, i dun feel as hurt n sad as b4 le.. but at times, i will still feel very extreme towards r/s lei.. die sia.. haha.. if i continue to be like tis thk i really gonna be a nun liao la.. haha..
Sunday, August 14, 2005
i am so so confused now~~
yes i am really confused now.. because someone came into my life n touched my heart.. i never tot that will ever happen to me again ever since i broke up wif Teck.. aft i broke up wif him, i had been going thru a super bad times lo.. i dun believe in r/s, in guys.. i jux thk tat they are all jerks n bastards who is here to hurt gals.. n i jux wan to play ard w/o getting into a serious r/s..
but rite now, i am not sure whether i am still thinking e same way anymore ma.. i can jux say he really wavered me alot lo.. n its scary coz i only know him for 4 wks?? its really amazing lo.. wat is happening to me?? wat he did yest really surprised me n makes me realise how serious he is lo.. all along, i had been thking its all a joke n stuff n jux take thing as it comes lo.. but yest.. well, i feel touched.. n i beginning to take things seriously le..
he makes me thk of reverting back to e 'weiting' in e past.. e one who is believes in love n giving in.. but on e other hand, i am really scared of getting hurt once more lo.. i really cant take another blow or watever again liao lo.. can u all understand how i feel? argh~~ n he is really quite a nice guy lo.. i am so scare of hurting him oso.. coz i know i wont be as nice to him like how i treat Teck in e past lo.. contraditing ritE? i thk so too lo.. or else i wont be so so confused now.. AH~~~~~~
finally i decide to test water n take a 1st step forward today by trying to do sth nice, but b4 i can do that it buang.. haiz.. really demoralised me alot alot lo.. ha.. makes me feel that whether i try doing or jux heck care, e results will still be e same.. haiz.. mayb it really need time la..
but rite now, i am not sure whether i am still thinking e same way anymore ma.. i can jux say he really wavered me alot lo.. n its scary coz i only know him for 4 wks?? its really amazing lo.. wat is happening to me?? wat he did yest really surprised me n makes me realise how serious he is lo.. all along, i had been thking its all a joke n stuff n jux take thing as it comes lo.. but yest.. well, i feel touched.. n i beginning to take things seriously le..
he makes me thk of reverting back to e 'weiting' in e past.. e one who is believes in love n giving in.. but on e other hand, i am really scared of getting hurt once more lo.. i really cant take another blow or watever again liao lo.. can u all understand how i feel? argh~~ n he is really quite a nice guy lo.. i am so scare of hurting him oso.. coz i know i wont be as nice to him like how i treat Teck in e past lo.. contraditing ritE? i thk so too lo.. or else i wont be so so confused now.. AH~~~~~~
finally i decide to test water n take a 1st step forward today by trying to do sth nice, but b4 i can do that it buang.. haiz.. really demoralised me alot alot lo.. ha.. makes me feel that whether i try doing or jux heck care, e results will still be e same.. haiz.. mayb it really need time la..
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